


One more chance

by Feenaa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cheating, Hospitalization, M/M, Married Couple, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Harry, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:20:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 48,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22626217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenaa/pseuds/Feenaa
Summary: After a long hard marriage, Louis started to cheat on HarryHarry pretended that everything was okay, but he couldn't keep acting this way.So he did the only thing that made him better, he tried to kill himself.But Louis wouldn't accept thisEnglish is not my first language
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 60
Kudos: 92





	1. Chapter 1

When Louis opened his eyes, he didn’t realize where he was first. it was still dark, his head wasn’t killing him yet, so yes he was still in the hotel room, he looked beside him, and there was a woman sleeping, Louis sighed, shit.. he did it again.

He tried to leave the bed without making any noise, the only light was there was the dim light coming from the bathroom. 

Louis tried his best to take all his clothes that was nearly everywhere, he took his shoes, and he headed towards the bathroom, he dressed, wore his shoes hastily, he didn’t want to get caught, he didn't even remember who the lady on the bed was or even her name. 

Louis looked at himself in the mirror, he felt disgusted, he promised himself he would not do it again, and yet here he wad , sleeping with unknown woman, in a cheap hotel room, again he was cheating.

Louis walked slowly on his toes, and he took his phone and his car keys, he walked outside the room, he took a moment to breathe normally again, and he sighed, God he hated himself right now,

He looked where he was, and he knew that hotel, well he was there nearly twice weakly, he was always picking beautiful ladies from its bar, booking a room, and doing whatever.

He found his car finally, and he got in and started his the engine , then his phone rang, Louis looked at the  
ID, Zayn Malik, no he wouldn't answer, when the rings stopped, he heard a text message,

“ Where the hell are you"

Louis sighed again, he screwed up, then he saw other two text from Harry

“ Lou.. where are you" and

“ I’m getting worried now, please answer the phone..”

Both messages were at 12 pm, now it was nearly 3 am ,  
The phone rang again, Zayn again,

“ yes Zayn..”

Zayn sighing “ thanks God.. where are you..”

Louis “ out..”

Zayn “ please, don’t tell me you did it again.. Lou.. you promised, I knew it . Fuck I knew it..”, Louis didn’t talk

“ your husband called me.. don’t need to say he was losing his mind. I lied for you again Louis, I told him you were with me but you were sleeping and I didn’t want to wake you up..”

Louis “ thanks..”

“ I’m not fucking telling you so you thank me, what is wrong with you.. God..”

Louis was already angry and ashamed, he didn't need Zayn's hard words “ I gotta go..”

He hanged up hearing Zayn yelling voice, but he could not face him now, he was angry and he was about to get a migraine attack, and of course he would face Harry.

When Louis arrived home, it was dark, no sound of the TV, no sign for active Harry even at three in the morning, Louis thanked his God, and headed directly to the bed room, and Harry was there sleeping,

Louis knew he was sleeping , his breathing was high and long, Louis had a feeling that Harry was avoiding him recently, Harry was sleeping a lot lately,, and that was not   
Harry .

All Louis could actually did, was taking off his jacket, and his shoes, then he slowly lied beside his husband , he waited for any movement from him, but no Harry was deep sleeping , then Louis turned to face him, although it was Harry's back that Louis was seeing, he felt ashamed, he felt hurt, he was cheating on Harry over and over, and Harry didn’t deserve any of this,  
Louis wanted to touch him, to rub his back softly, to play with his long curls, but he couldn’t, he wanted to but he felt he was dirty enough, and he couldn't touch an angel like Harry, he would simply stain him.

******  
Next morning, when Louis again opened his eyes, he saw sun rays, only at the end of the room, and he knew immediately what room it was, his bedroom, so he was home.

He flipped on his back and he cursed himself immediately, his stomach twisted, and he was two seconds from vomiting, his head was killing, he couldn't even open his eyes, but he had to, he should actually start walking to the bathroom if he wanted keep his bed clean, Louis tried again, but once he put his leg on the cold floor, he opened his eyes , and there was a basket, just beside his bed, clean empty basket, thanks Harry.

Without a second thought, Louis took it and he threw up violently, he hated himself for drinking that load, but he kept doing this to himself even though he knew the circumstances. 

After Louis finally stopped throwing up, he walked to the bathroom, cleaned himself, washed his face and avoided looking at himself in the mirror, he might hate what he would see.

Louis realized that Harry wasn’t on bed with him, Harry must had gone early to his work, or was it late now, Louis didn't have a clue.

When he headed towards the kitchen, he heard the noises, so Harry was there, Louis took a deep breath and walked in,

Harry saw him and he turned frantic “ what are you doing here?”,

Louis looked at him confused, Harry was on the stove apparently cooking something ,

He left what he was doing and he walked towards Louis, he put his hand on his forehead “ damn.. you are burning up..”,

Louis “ am I ?” he felt shit actually,

Harry sighed and held Louis hand to sit on the table “ you are Lou.. and all the night you were talking while sleeping.. that’s a sign you are sick..”,

Louis looked at Harry afraid to ask what words he said,  
Harry went back to the stove “ I'm making you soup.. can you make it to the party", he looked at Louis

Louis was really confused, he hated when Harry was this kind with him, he didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve Harry’s heart,

“ party?”

Harry sighed, he stopped stirring the soup, he covered the pan “ please tell me you remember..” he whispered 

Louis tried, but he didn't even remember what day is today,

“ Liam's surprise party.. Sheryl called me last week I told you Lou..”,

Oh yeah , yeah, and Fuck, Sheryl? 

Harry walked and sat in front of him “ so, can you make it? I hate to disappoint her, besides it’s Liam.. and I won’t go alone and leave you",

Louis “ I'm fine.. but..”,

He couldn't be with Sheryl at one place

“ where is she doing it?”,

Harry was still looking at him “ at her cafe"

Louis stopped talking, Harry sighed “ listen I know you and Sheryl don’t get a long.. I don’t know why..”

Louis only shrugged, he couldn’t tell him why, he couldn't tell him Sheryl hated him because Louis slept with her best friend, and the next morning he just disappeared.

“ but do it for Liam..” Harry said

Louis finally nodded, he had no other choice , really

“ you will eat your soup.. and I will give you some magic pills and you will be okay..” Harry smiled

Louis hated it, he smiled back, or tried to

“ Harry? You skipped work?”

Harry leaving his seat “ of course I did, my husband is sick.. who will take care of you..”, Louis “ I'm not sick.. I will be fine..”,

Harry looked at him and nodded, and now Louis tried to avoid looking for him.

******

At the party, Louis made sure to arrive at the last minute, he made a plan, he would talk to Sheryl's friend who he still could n’t remember her name, he would apologize or whatever, and he would make sure, she wouldn't talk to Harry or even get near him.

After the cake and the birthday wishes, suddenly Louis lost Harry, he couldn't see him, he knew he must be at the middle of any group talking and listening, Harry was a god listener.

Louis looked for the sheyrl's friend , he looked everywhere, he knew she was there, he saw her staring at him five minutes ago, but he couldn't find her anywhere, maybe she left,

Okay plan B, look for Harry and don't leave his side,

Louis started looking for Harry in the crowded place, he couldn't see him either. 

“ we need to talk..” Zayn suddenly appeared

Louis still looking around “ not now Zayn.. have you seen Harry?”,

Zayn frustrated “ now Louis... just now"

Louis was not focusing, where the hell was his husband

Zayn “ whey are you looking for him?”

Louis looked at Zayn, but he couldn’t answer, Zayn sighed “ God, now what?”

Louis “ Sheryl's friend.. I slept with her two months ago..”,

Zayn eyes were wide “ you did what!!.. which one..”

Louis shrugged “ can’t remember the name, but she is the black short haired one..”

Zayn “ shit.. she was with Harry.”

Louis now looked at Zayn “ what? Where..”

But Zayn walked without talking, and at the corner of the place, there was the black haired lady, standing alone with Harry, both holding glass of Champaign.

Louis looked at his husband, he looked back at him, it was a blank look, the lady was talking and it looked serious, Louis didn’t cut the eye contact with Harry, he was walking slowly to him, and his mind really shut down,

Then Harry smiled at Louis and raised his glass, Louis somehow wanted to feel relieved, it was a good sign, Harry was smiling back at him,

“ Jessie.. I want you to meet my husband Louis..”

Jessie looked at Louis and acted fool, she smiled “ hello there..”,

Louis tried to smile, she was looking at him disrespectfully,

Jessie “ you are so lucky to have him as a husband Louis..”,

Harry smiled shyly “ oh.. stop it”

Jessie looked back at Harry and smiled “ no you deserve the best Harry.. you are a good man. your husband should know that.”

Harry looked at Louis, who nervously said “ I .. I do.”

Jessie “ excuse me gentlemen” and she left them together,

Harry looked at Louis, then he frowned “ are you okay?”

“ what was she telling you?” Louis asked sternly

Harry was confused “ what?”

Louis said angrily now “ answer the fucking question Harry..”

Harry shrugged “ nothing important.. she has a clothes brand that she was telling me about, she says maybe we can work together.”

“ no..”

Harry was still confused “ she is Sheryl's friend. she told me you never meet, why are you so defensive ”

Louis “ I don’t care who she is..”

Harry now was getting angry “ God.. what is wrong with you?”,

Louis sighed, then he pressed his eyes with his fingers,  
Harry sighed “ we can leave if you don’t feel okay.”

Louis looked at him, and then he nodded, yes leaving was the best thing for now.

Harry sighed and moved to put his glass on its place, then he returned to Louis, and together they left

At the car, no one said a word, Harry was upset, and Louis knew he had to say anything

“ I'm sorry..” Louis started

Harry nodded pretending busy with the road  
“ Harry, I'm sorry.. I'm just .. I don’t know.. I think I'm tired..”

“ of course you are” harry said coldly   
Louis sighed “ Harry.. please don’t do this..”

Harry took a deep breath, he was controlling his anger “ okay..”,

Louis “ stop it.. stop being like this”  
l  
“ okay.”

Louis yelled “ damn it Harry.”

Harry yelled back looking at him “ why are you angry at me?”,

Louis “ I'm not.. I am.. I just didn’t like the whole shit from the start.. I didn’t want to go , I just went because of you”

Harry chuckled sarcastically “ oh well done.. thank you.. you deserve a round of applause maybe”

Louis “ I hate when you talk like this”

Harry “ and I hate when you do this”

“ do what?”

“ what’s wrong with you and Sheryl? And obviously Sheryl friends now. “,

Louis was nervous for a second, but he had to act strong, he couldn't let Harry feel anything,

“ what do you mean?”

Harry looked back at the road “ you know exactly what I mean.”

Then Harry stopped the car, and Louis thanked God for this, they arrived home. 

Harry left the car slamming the door, Louis left too, he wanted to follow, but he could not , he couldn't talk, he couldn't fight, if he did , he would simply lose Harry. 

Instead, Louis walked towards his car, and he got inside it, and he looked at Harry through the rear window, Harry was on the door steps, he turned back and looked at Louis shockingly, Louis knew Harry wanted him to follow, to explain, to say anything to reassure him.

Louis started the car, and Harry finally walked back to the house closing the door behind him.

Harry closed the door, and he was in great pain, he sighed and he walked to his bedroom, took off his jacket, and his shoes, he looked at himself in the mirror, he started at himself, and then he cried, he cried a lot. 

he walked to his kitchen, and put out a bottle of wine, and turned back to the bedroom, he opened his drawer, put out two pills bottles, he took them and headed towards the bathroom.

With his jeans pants and black shirt, he jumped in the bathtub, lied in it, rested his back, he then sighed, he opened the pill bottles, put all the pills in his hand, he looked at them, he cried harder, took a deep breath.

then he swallowed them all, rested his head back, then he opened the wine bottle, and drank, and cried.

drank and cried.

*****

Louis took rounds by the car, he couldn't get back, but he needed to, he knew Harry was upset, he wanted to apologize to him, maybe tell him the truth, maybe just stay and let Harry be angry at him. 

Louis found himself again in front of the hotel, he left his car, he promised himself, he Would have a drink and that was it. 

Two hours later, Louis walked outside the hotel, with a new decision, he would tell Harry all the truth, he would apologize, he would beg his mercy, his forgiveness, Harry didn't deserve this.

When Louis entered the house, again it was silent, he called for Harry , but Harry didn’t answer,

He walked towards the bedroom, it was empty, but it's bathroom door was closed, so Harry must was in there

“ Harry.. I'm home..”

No answer, Louis sighed, then he sat on the bed, waiting for Harry

Harry’s phone rang

“ Harry.. your phone is ringing.”

Nothing, Louis walked to the nightstand where the phone was there

“ Harry.. it’s Niall Horan?”

Who was this?

Then the phone stopped ringing “ it stopped”

Then there was a text, Louis looked at it, and he couldn’t stop himself from reading it, he didn't know any Niall, but somehow he remembered seeing the name before

“ he left early .. sorry” the text said 

Who left early, then Louis Scrolled through the all messages between Harry and that Niall, and his heart skipped a beat. 

There were photos of him Louis, with women, a lot of photos, a lot of ladies Louis was kissing them   
Louis was hugging them, and fuck

“ Harry...”

Louis yelled Harry’s name

He ran towards the door, and tried to open it, it was locked, “ Harry.. open the door ..”, Nothing

“ Harry baby. are you okay.”

Nothing

Louis tried to open it again “ Harry.. open the damn door or I will smash it..” 

Nothing

Now he was panicking

“ Harry.. I need to talk. I will explain.. please baby..”

Nothing

Louis was crying now, “ Harry I'm coming in.”

Louis tried to push the door with his shoulder, he tried two times, then the door was opened

When Louis saw Harry he gasped, Harry was there on the bathtub, eyes closed, empty wine bottle beside the tub and two empty pills bottles lying beside it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter

Harry wasn’t breathing, that was the first thing Louis noticed, he sat on the floor beside him

“ baby.. what’s wrong?”,

Louis knew there would be no answers

His mind froze, he didn’t know what was happening, he touched Harry’s hand, it was cold, and no, this was not happening, not again, God please not again. 

Louis stood up, he carried Harry out of the bathtub, he rested him on the bedroom floor, he rested his head in Harry’s chest searching for any heartbeat, any sign of life, anything at all,

Louis didn’t realize he was crying, he was actually sobbing, his vision got blurred, and he squeezed his eyes, to clear his vision, he looked at Harry’s face,  
He was pale, lips nearly blue. 

Louis body was shaking, he carried Harry’s hand and he kissed it, and he just sat there, doing absolutely nothing, only watching Harry’s face, and he waited for Harry to wake up, he just waited.

Then he heard the door was opened, and a voice calling “ where the hell are you? Louis? Harry?”

Louis couldn’t realize the voice, he didn’t know who was there, he just kept looking at Harry,

“ here you...what happened?”

Louis looked at the man who was standing there, Zayn almost ran and sat on the ground by Harry’s body. 

Louis was looking at Zayn blankly, tears on his face.  
Zayn was talking , and now Louis wasn’t listening,  
He saw Zayn checking Harry’s pulse on his neck, and hastily he put out his phone, he called someone, but Louis kept looking at Harry, still holding his hand, still waiting for Harry to open his eyes,

It didn’t happen.

*****

“ he tried to kill himself..” Zayn was telling Liam now. 

Louis was listening at them , sitting on the plastic chair waiting for Harry who was now at the surgery.

“ oh my God.. why .. what happened?” Liam said

Then he walked towards Louis “ what happened.. why would he do that?” Louis didn’t look at Liam, didn’t move from his chair, he just stayed there looking at nothing,

Zayn tapped on Liam's back, Liam looked at Zayn “ he was okay at the party.. why would he do that. are you sure..”,

Zayn slightly nodded, Liam sighed and he sat beside Louis, and then he put his hand on Louis thigh, and again Louis didn’t move,

Four hours and half, then Harry's doctor finally showed up to talk to them about Harry's condition. 

He was alive, the first words the doctor said, Zayn and Liam started to breath again, but not Louis. 

“ when Mr Tomlinson arrived here, he was barely breathing, we took a blood sample, and we found out that he mixed benzodiazepine which is used to induce sleeping, with Trazadone which is used as antidepressants, with alcohol..” doctor said

Louis sighed and closed his eyes trying to control himself

“ he wanted badly to end his life..” then he looked at Louis “ do you know about these combination of his drugs.. does he suffer from depression?”

Louis tried to talk, he had to talk, he had to say something “ yes I'm aware of his drugs.. they prescribed for him. Harry suffered.. he had depression, but about... a year ago, his doctor stopped his session. we thought he was good..” Louis said with a steady voice as much as he can,

The doctor nodded “ did he do it before?”,

Louis looked down, he dries his tear away

“ we found a fade marks on his wrist.. so, do you know where did they come from?”,

Louis swallowed the gulp in his throat, he felt Zayn and Liam's eyes were on him,

He looked at the doctor “ yes.. he did tried to end his life... he... he was seventeen when it happened. he cut his wrist. I found him in time.. and.. that’s why he started his sessions..”,

Zayn sighed, while Liam looked shockingly at Louis,  
The doctor then said “ okay.. so since it happened before.. do you know what happens next”,

Louis only looked at him , the doctor nodded “ okay.. first he will be under suicide watch for three days here, and then we need to know of either you or his family will take care of him, of you can’t then he will be discharged to a rehabilitation..”,

Louis nodded “ no.. I will take care of him..”,

The doctor nodded “ we will talk about it later. he is now in his room, he is not under anaesthesia any more.. but I believe he needs as much sleep as he can now, his body endured a lot. and I recommend he sleeps..”,

Louis “ I have to see him..”,

The doctor nodded “ of course.. just come with me..”,

When Louis entered Harry’s room, a nurse was still there, fixing Harry’s nasal cannula, and Louis was thankful for this, he still wasn’t ready, the nurse was hiding Harry’s face, so Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath,

He had lived through this before, Harry tried to end his life before, and Louis saved him , helped him, but this time it was different, the one who saved Harry before was the one who led him to do it again, he was Louis.

Then nurse moved away giving Louis a friendly smile, and tried to return the smile,

He then looked at Harry, he was sleeping, he was pale, white , no redness in his cheeks like always, his lips still blue, but he was breathing, Louis made sure he was breathing, his chest was raising up, and falling down. 

Louis walked towards Harry and then he sat beside the bed on the chair, he held Harry’s hand, and he looked again at his eyes, still closed, and Louis then looked at his hand, at the faint marks on his wrist, he slowly touched it, and he remembered how much scared he was the first time he saw Harry in his old bathroom, at his parents house, on the floor, swimming in his blood.

Louis closed his eyes, and let the tears fall away, and he was so exhausted, his mind was killing him, the guilt was killing him, Harry now knew everything. when Harry opens his eyes Louis can’t look at him the same.  
for full six months, Louis cheated, for full six months, Harry pretending that everything was okay, and now everything wouldn't be okay again.

“ what are you doing here?”,

Louis opened his eyes at Harry’s weak voice, Harry was looking at him, hardly opening his eyes,

Louis parted his lips to talk, but Harry stopped him “ leave ..”,

Louis started “ Harry.. listen..”,

Harry cried now “ why am I still here..”,

And now Louis couldn’t take it, he left Harry’s hand and cried hard,

Harry looked at him “ stop.. please stop pretending..”,

Louis “ I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry..”,

Harry looked at the other side “ leave..”

Louis “ Harry.. you tried to kill yourself..you promised"

Harry didn’t talk,

Louis “ it was my fault.. I'm so sorry.. please..”,

Then Harry looked at him “ leave..”,

Louis tried to talk, but Harry “ I hate you.. now leave..”,

And then Harry closed his eyes again, but Louis didn’t leave, he stayed, Harry slept again, but Louis never left him, he didn’t intended to do anytime soon.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning had raised, Harry didn’t wake up again, Louis didn’t leave his side, looking at him from time to time, Zayn entered the room, he looked at Harry , then he walked and sat beside Louis on the couch

“ Liam has to leave he has work..” Zayn started

Louis only nodded looking down, he didn't have any power to do anything, he can barely open his eyes,, “ he is angry.. he needs an explanation..”

Louis again nodded

Zayn “ so do I”

Louis sighed, then he looked at Harry again, still sleeping, he looked at his chest, still breathing

“ I need to drink something..” he stood up while Zayn didn’t

Louis looked at Zayn “ I will tell you what happened..”

Louis walked out the room, followed by Louis, he looked for the nurse first, he told her he would be at the hospital cafeteria drinking something, and if anything happened she would call him up. 

Louis only asked for coffee, he couldn't eat anything, he couldn't even drink his coffee, but he had to do this, he needed some power to stay awake, his body would fail him soon

Zayn was sitting in front of him, watching him

“ okay... how did he know?” Zayn asked

Louis looked at him, Zayn “ Harry won’t do such a thing unless he knew.. so what happened.”

Louis put his cup aside “ he knows.”

Zayn confused “ what do you mean..”,,

Louis “ I mean he knows Zayn.. since the start."

Zayn shocked “ what the... did he told you that.”

Louis shook his head “ no.. I saw it myself there is a man.. Niall Horan. I don’t know who he is but I found out that he was stalking me and sending him every detail about me.. sending him my pics of me with them.”

Zayn mouth was opened, he was speechless, really,  
Louis looked at him, then he shook his head  
“ he knows and he never said a word. when he had enough he wanted to end his life and I was there just keep deceiving him.. keep cheating”

Then he covered his eyes by his hands, Zayn watched Louis crying, he didn’t move at the start, he was angry at Louis, he warned him tens of times to stop what he was doing, to stop cheating, if the love had ended just go and talk to your partner but don’t hurt him this way. 

Zayn took a deep breath “ what happened.. did you fight?”,

Louis shook his head, wiping his tears away “ no. after the party he was angry that we left this way. I was angry that he was angry.. I didn’t get in the house with him. I went for drink.” 

Zayn sighed “ oh Louis..”-

Louis “ I didn’t do it I came back home he was at the bathroom... his phone rang it was Niall and then I saw the messages.”-

He tried to have a full breath, but it came out shaky and he felt the gulp in his throat,

“ I tried to get in the bathroom.. it was locked and I... I knew there was something wrong.”

He wiped again the tears, “ I didn’t know when he did it, or what was happening I just froze Zayn.. and then you showed up.”

Zayn nodded, eyes were glassy too “ I came to check on you. no one answered his phone. I was worried”

Louis nodded, he looked down “ I should know.. he was not himself lately I was just avoiding him as much as I can. of course he knows. God.. I'm so stupid..”

Zayn looked at him, he knows that Louis is blaming himself now, and no matter what he said, it would not change anything at all.

Louis now cried , his body was shaking, Zayn hated what he saw , he tried “ calm down Louis..”-

Louis still crying “ he doesn’t want to see me Zayn.. he hates me now and he hates he is alive.. I don’t know what to do..”

Zayn “ I don’t know, but we will find out something. he is Harry after all.. he will forgive you eventually”

Louis wanted to believe that, but he knew thar time was different. The forgiveness wasn't wasy, and it would take a lot of time, and right now Harry wasn’t thinking right, and that scared Louis the most.

When Louis and Zayn returned back to Harry’s room, they found Sheryl was getting out of his room, and once she saw Louis, her face became stern

Louis took a deep breath and continued his walking till he was beside the door,

Sheryl was waiting to say hi, she tried to smile “ hello Zayn.. Louis..”

Zayn “ hi Sheryl.. are you here alone?”

Sheryl “ Gigi is inside with him.. I have to go” then she looked at Louis “ I hope you are happy now Louis”

Louis was shocked “ what!!”

Sheryl continued “ maybe you wanted him to die so you can do what you like to do freely.” 

Zayn “ Sheryl.”

Sheryl looked at Zayn “ you don’t know anything Zayn.. really..” then she looked at Louis “ he was cheating on him..”,

Zayn sighed, then Sheryl looked at Zayn “ you know!!”

Zayn “Sheryl... listen.”

Sheryl nodded “ fuck.. you know. and you didn’t do anything. does Gigi know too?”

Zayn “ no Gigi doesn’t know and yes I didn’t do anything.. just like you ”

Sheryl looked at him angrily “ I didn’t want to hurt Harry... have you seen what he did when he knew.”

Zayn shook his head “ listen Sheryl.. you Don’t know what is going on so "

Sheryl “ I know my friend tried to kill himself.. and he doesn’t even want to say why.. but I know why, I know he knew.”

Louis looked at her “ how? did he said anything?”

Sheryl looked at him “ he is not talking Louis don’t worry.. he thinks he can protect you image but I know my friend and he is hurt now. Harry wouldn't try to kill himself unless it was because of you. “

Louis again tried to control his body, every words hurt, she knew that, she wanted to do that

“ and you Zayn... why didn’t you stop him? why didn’t you do anything..”,

Zayn “ Sheryl.. I know you are worried. but you need to stop talking now.”

Sheryl looked at Zayn angrily , then “Gigi won’t like this..”,

Zayn nodded “ thanks for your caring.. “

Sheryl took one last look at the both men , and then she left them cursing under her breath.

Zayn looked at Louis “ she is worried..”

Louis only nodded, because he had nothing to say,  
Zayn opened the door and they both entered, Harry was lying on thirty degree angel, when he saw Zayn and Louis he looked at his lap.

Gigi was sitting by him on the bed, she looked at them  
“ hello boys..”

Zayn walked towards her while Louis remained at his place,

“ how do you feel now Harry?”

Harry looked at Zayn, blaming for sure, but he only nodded,

Gigi “ he is perfect.. he is a fighter ”she smiled

Then she kissed Harry on the forehead “ I will go.. but I'm coming back later, okay..”

Harry smiled looking at her, but he didn’t talk, Gigi looked at Zayn, and he followed her outside

Again Louis and Harry alone in the room, but this time Harry was awake, Harry avoided looking at him

Louis slowly walked and sat at the chair beside the bed, he looked at the cannula in Harry’s hand, and then he looked at Harry’s face, he was crying silently

Louis really didn’t know what to do, how to fix this, he needed to talk, but how he was going to fix it, he cheated, he did it

Harry “ I asked you to leave..”

Louis was looking at Harry “ I can’t..”

Harry nodded “ I know.. I will pretend that it's okay but once we are out of here.. no more pretending..”   
he then looked at Louis, eyes red, glassy , “ for both of us..”,

Louis tried to control his voice “ I'm not pretending Harry.. I can.. I can explain..”

Harry looked back at his lap “ can you?”

Louis couldn't, he sighed and he left his seat, he sat on Harry’s bed beside him

“ Harry.. I really don’t know what to say... I .. screwed up.. I know big time.. but..”

“ but what?” , Harry looked at Louis challenging ,  
Louis looked at Harry’s eyes, and he saw pain in his eyes, it made his heart clenched painfully

“ I know I hurt you... why didn’t you say anything”

Harry looked at Louis eyes, he had many questions, he had many whys, he was angry, he was hurt, and now Louis was just asking why he didn’t say something, why would he say something and how, how could he face the one he loved by his cheating, what did Louis had to say. 

Harry just sighed and looked back at his lap,  
Louis saw all the pain in Harry’s eyes, he knew how Harry was thinking, after all it was his Harry, his one and only, his best friend for years, even if he stopped loving him the same way he did before, but he still knew him.

“ Harry.. can we talk about this later..”,

But Harry didn’t answer him, and Louis couldn’t stand the pain and the guilt he was feeling

He stood up “ I'm gonna talk to your doctor about the procedures we need to take, it's your second time Harry, they need to out you in a rehabilitation..”

Louis saw Harry's body tensed, he knew Harry will never accept that, he knew if Louis let him go to get better, it would had other meanings for Harry, he would feel abandoned, he would feel betrayed, and he was already feeling disappointed

“ I won’t let this happen..” Louis said watching Harry’s reaction, but he got nothing.

Louis finally left the room, leaving Harry alone to his thoughts, and he knew his mind was killing him.

After Louis talking to Harry’s doctor, he didn’t like what was going to happen, and he of course Harry would not   
like it either.

Zayn was waiting for Louis outside of the doc office, when Louis saw him , he walked towards him, “ how did it go?” Zayn started,

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know.. but it will be tough..”

Zayn “ so?”

Louis and Zayn were walking back to Harry’s room, Louis told Zayn what the doctor told him, and  
Zayn felt sorry for both Harry and Louis

“ what will you do then ?”

Louis “ I can’t let him do this.. I promised..”

Zayn sighed “ you can’t take care of him neither..”

Louis insisted “ I did it before..”

“ it was different Louis, last time Harry wanted to survive, he had a reason, he had you..”

Louis said “ he still has me..”

“ I know.. “ Zayn then stopped and looked at Louis “ but he doesn’t know that.. do you know how he is thinking now.. he is hurt, he is in a great pain Louis..”  
L  
Of course Louis knew how Harry was thinking, he was the only one who actually knew. 

“ if I let him.. he will believe that I will really abandon him..”,

Zayn shook his head “ fine.. let’s say he came back with you.. both of us know he doesn’t want this.. what if he tried it again..”,

Louis closed his eyes, that what scared him the most, he was sure that Harry might do it again, and he doubted he could stop this

Zayn sighed “ all I'm saying.. you need to save him.. think for his best, don't be hard on yourself Louis..”

Louis looked at Zayn tears on his cheeks “ how?” he whispered

Zayn squeezed his shoulder “ we will find away..”

Louis only nodded, then he stared at someone walking in front of him, blond, wearing glasses, blue eyes, then he saw him entering Harry’s room

It hit Louis now, he knew him, of course he did, he saw him with Harry couple of times before

Harry said he was only a customer, now he felt he wasn’t a regular customer,

When Zayn noticed how Louis tensed up, he looked at where Louis was looking, he saw The man entered Harry’s room closing the door behind him

“ do you know him?”

Louis was breathing fast now, he walked furiously towards the room, Zayn followed “ do you?”

Louis almost yelled “ that’s him..” 

Zayn “ who?”

“ Niall fucking Horan..”

Louis opened the door violently, it caused both Harry and Niall to startle, Naill was sitting on Harry's bed, obviously they were talking,

“ what the hell are you doing here..” Louis shouted looking at Niall

Niall was shocked, then he looked at Harry

Harry looking angry at Louis “ what are you doing..”

Louis to Harry “ so .. that’s him.. your best friend now..”

Niall leaving Harry's bed“ calm down..”

Louis yelling “ are you happy now. you did your job perfectly.. how did you even know?"

Harry sternly " I called him, he is a friend..”

Louos furiously “ a friend? Harry you pay him for this.. “,

then he looked at Niall walked towards him “ was it funny.. was it easy job for you.. stalking me and sending my husband my photos..”

Niall now got angry “ I was helping him..”

Louis “ helping him..”,

Harry “ fuck Louis... we are at the hospital..”,

Louis ignored “ how does it make you feel... are you happy, he almost killed himself ..”

Zayn “ Louis... stop..”

Louis then grasped Niall from his collar and trapped him in the wall “ what do you want from us..”,

Zayn ran towards them while Harry yelled Louis' name,

Louis still attaching Niall “ you almost killed him..”

But Zayn could free Niall, and held Louis from his arms,  
Niall looked at Louis and he also yelled “ you almost killed him... it was you who cheated..”,

But Louis set himself free and in a second he punched Niall on his nose,

Niall almost fell, Harry got furious now “ what are you doing..”,

Harry tried to leave his bed, but Zayn noticed and he moved fast to stop him,

Harry was looking at Louis, eyes wide opened “ what do you think you are doing?”,

Louis looked at Harry , Harry continued “ are you blaming him... really.. no.. you did it Louis... you killed me not him..”,

Louis had nothing to say, he was shocked,  
Harry “ you cheated for months, and you got the gut to lie on my face, time after time after time. “

Harry stopped talking, he lied his back again at the bed, he hide his eyes with his fingers,

“ it was you.. you broke us, you broke me.. and I couldn’t stand this..”

Then Harry looked at Louis “ I want a divorce..”

Louis finally sighed “ Harry...”

Harry “ Niall is my lawyer.. he will send you the paper really soon..”,

Then he looked at his lap “ the faster you sign, the better we both feel",

Louis looked at Niall, who was now drying his bleeding lip, with a tissue Zayn gave him.

Niall avoided looking at Louis

Harry said “ then I want you out of my life”

Louis pressed his lips shut, trying to absorb what he just heard, and it hurt him, Harry wanted a divorce, he wanted Louis out of his life, harry wouldn't make it without Louis, and now Louis believed he couldn't make it without Harry too.

Zayn took Louis out of the room, he knew his friend needed a break, he knew Louis was now freaking out, and he knew he would need someone to calm him down.  
****

The rest of the day, louis didn’t talk, didn’t say a word, didn’t enter Harry’s room again. 

Zayn didn’t leave his side, Gigi came later this morning, and when she saw Louis this way, Zayn had to tell her everything, she was shocked, but she didn’t say a word to Louis, instead she moved to see how Harry was doing.

At the midnight, Louis couldn’t take it any longer, he couldn’t stay any minute away, now he realized there would be no Harry in his life, now he understood how stupid he was, how ashamed he must felt, now he understood he could not leave Harry ever. 

He stood up from the chair he was sitting on for almost six hours now,. 

Zayn looked at him confused “ where are you going?”

Louis looked at Zayn “ I can’t lose him..”

Zayn nodded and stood up too “ we will find something..”,

Louis shook his head “ no.. I can’t lose him..”,

Then he walked towards Harry’s room, his heart was beating fast, he would beg Harry’s forgiveness, he would do whatever it takes, he would cry, and he would make every possible and impossible thing to make Harry forgive him again, it for sure must take time, but he was ready for it, he promised himself to make it right again 

Louis opened the door, and he froze, Harry’s bed was empty.. Harry wasn’t there, Harry disappeared

, on his bed there was a piece of paper

Slowly Louis walked to the bed, he held the paper and he read it, and he sat on Harry’s bed, body shaking, he was crying, he actually was sobbing.

“ another tears, Another cry  
Another place for us to die  
It’s not complicated  
Another love that gone to waste  
Another light lost from your face  
It's complicated  
Is it that it's over or do birds still sing for you?  
Float down like autumn leaves  
And hush now  
Close you eyes before you sleep  
And you are miles away  
And yesterday  
You were here..... with me"


	4. Chapter 4

For three days, Louis, Zayn and Liam looked for Harry, in every possible place, in all his friends houses, in all possible place he could go, Louis even went back to his parent house, but Harry was no where to be found, Harry vanished.

Louis was scared, no he was panicking, dark thoughts hunted his mind, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't concentrate, and the guilt was eating him alive.

Louis doorbill rang, he was drinking something hot in his kitchen when he heard the bill, he ran towards the door, and opened it expecting Harry, It wasn’t.

“ Liam..”

Liam standing in front of him, he was smiling softly “ I was trying to call you"

Louis sighed and walked inside letting Liam enter.

Liam followed him to the kitchen, Louis looked awful actually, black circles around his eyes, his face was pale, Liam was watching his friend sadly leaning on the door frame.

“ so tell me.. have you been sleeping?”

Louis sat back on the table, and didn’t look at Liam,  
Liam sighed and sat beside him, “ still nothing?”

Louis shook his head

Liam sighed “ God.. what is happening to you? “

Louis didn’t try to say anything, Liam looked at Louis “ Cheryl told me about what happened between you and Jessie..”

Louis inhaled deeply, Liam was watching him “ you are cheating on him Louis.. with women. what is happening with both of you. I didn’t see it coming "

Louis looked down he wasn’t able to talk,

Liam “ I thought you love him..”

Louis looked at Liam, for a minute he was shocked, how could Liam doubted his love for Harry , then again, okay he was cheating, and Harry tried to kill himself for that, anyone would believe Louis stopped loving Harry, and no matter what he says, how can he prove that he still was in love with Harry, 

he looked back down.

Liam “ he loves you Louis..” 

“ stop... stop.. stop..” Louis whispered

Liam "I'm not trying to make you angry or blame you.. but..”

Louis leaving his seat “ but what... “ 

Louis took a deep breath, he wanted to rearrange his thoughts before speaking , then he looked at Liam  
“ I know you blame me... all of you blame me , I mean I blame myself too, he did tried to kill himself because of me.. he did wanted to die but no one knows how Harry is.. you only see his bright side", Liam was looking at him confused “ what are you talking about"

Louis shook his head, then he sighed “ nothing Liam.. Nothing..”,

Liam stopped talking for a moment, then “ he tried to kill himself before?”,

Louis slowly nodded “ he did not just once. with this time it will be his seventh time. after his first one, I know there was something wrong, I was only nineteen and I was lost.. I was scared, I carried him and rushed to hospital. they could barely saved him, and after that they sent him to a rehab facility, when he finished his treatment, doctors told me he needed to be watched so since he is living with me, I always take care of him, I stopped him five times from doing it, and every time he promised it was the last time but he always-“ Louis cried

Liam left his seat and walked towards Louis “ I'm so sorry, I never know this..”,

Louis nodded “ I know.. I made sure no one knows.. I mean, he is not always that bad, he is not always depressed, but I always was there Liam.. I always took care of him..”

Liam “ then why Louis.. why did you do this?”

Louis “ I don’t know.. I really don’t know... I feel.. I feel empty Liam. I want to maybe forget"

Liam “ forget what?”

Louis “ that feeling in my heart, the feeling of worry, I am always worried Liam.. I am always afraid, I always watch him breathing when he is sleeping , I'm always worried when he takes long time in the bathroom, when he tells me he needs to have a walk alone, lately I wanted to believe he was okay that he was not gonna do this again..”

Louis sat back again and looked at Liam “ seven months ago.. he wanted to do it again"

Liam shocked “ what?”

Louis nodded “ it was his mother anniversary.. the worst time of the year, we visited her and put flowers on her grave.. he cried for to long. Then we went to sleep.. when I opened my eyes, he wasn’t there. I panicked.. I rushed to the bathroom and I almost stopped him before he cut his wrists..”

Liam shocked “ oh God..”

Louis nodded “ he promised .. again he won’t do it..”

Liam “ why? Why he is like this, he is young, attractive, successful person.. why?”,

Louis took a deep breath, he didn't want to talk about this, but he needed to “ when Harry was sixteen.. he saw his mother brutally murdered..”,

Liam “ what?!!”,

Louis “ someone broke in their home, wanted to steal them, mom was there she saw him... started to scream.. he attacked her, and Harry tried to protect his mom, but he was attacked too, he hit him hard on his head,and then he killed his mom before his eyes...and ever since Harry blames himself, he says he could protect her, he could save her...”

Liam “ oh my God.. it’s too much, I've never known any of this..”,

Louis nodded “ no one knows Liam.. we made sure no one knows..".then he sighed

" I'm not a bad person Liam..” he looked at him “ but I’m so tired and right now I'm so worried.. I can’t think of any good thing, I keep waiting for a phone call that tells me they found him somewhere .. dead or struggling for his life..”

Liam “ hay.. hay.. stop.. he will be okay..”

Louis “ how... he always wants to hurt himself, and now he is alone.. and ..” Louis cried now and covered his eyes 

“ I know it’s all my fault.. and if anything happened to him I won’t forgive myself.. but I was tired.. I was so tired of trying to convince him that life worth living for.. that I need him in my life. I need him healthy, I don’t want to keep worry about him.. I don’t want to keep dreaming that I'm burying him..”

Liam got closer and patted his shoulder speechless, Louis dried his tears,

“ I know I screwed up.. I did a mistake over and over again.. but it was the only thing that made me stop thinking, I love the idea of not thinking, of pretending that everything is okay.. when I'm doing it I feel that I'm someone else.. I'm not me...”

Then he sighed “ and now I have to pay for it.. he won’t forgive me no matter what..”,

Liam sighed, then he sat beside him “ I can say I understand now... but it's still cheating Louis, you wanted to feel better but you hurt him while doing this.. you made it worse...”,

Louis looked at Liam nodding “ i made it worse.. but I want to fix this.. I want to have another chance I know I was wrong.. I need to find him Liam alive and then we talk..”

Liam “ you can’t find him while staying here..”,

Louis nodded “ I know.. but I haven’t slept for three days now, literally.. and I can’t handle it, and I can’t sleep either..”,

Liam “ no you go have some sleep, then we think and look again..”,

Louis “ I can’t Liam actually I was about to get dressed.. I still have some places left..”,

Then the door bell again rang, Louis looked at Liam shocked, again hope rose in his heart, he ran towards the door, but it was Zayn this time

Again Louis returned disappointed to his kitchen,  
followed by Zayn , Liam was already waiting in front of the kitchen,

Liam looked at Zayn's face, he was scowling “ are you okay there?”

Louis now noticed how Zayn was, and he waited for Zayn's answer 

Zayn sighed, and the he put a file in front of Louis on the table 

“ what is this?” Louis said opening the file, he then froze, he did it, Harry did it

“ how did you get this?” Louis asked Zayn

Zayn answered “ his lawyer sent it to the office this morning..”,

Louis closed his eyes, he relaxed a little bit, he took a deep breath,

Liam asked “ what is this?”

Zayn looking at Louis surprised “ are you okay with this?”,

Louis “ of course not..”,

“ then why do you look relieved?” Zayn asked blaming

Liam again “ what is this?”

Zayn “ divorcing papers..”

“ I'm not relieved Zayn..” Louis said 

Liam shocked “ what?!”

Zayn snapped “ then what does this mean?”

Louis “ it means he is alive..”

Both Zayn and Liam stopped talking. 

Louis stood up and he looked at Zayn “ so Niall is in contact with him?”

Zayn shrugged “ I don’t know.. Naill didn’t come himself, he sent someone..”

Louis nodded “ of course he didn’t..”

Zayn “ yeah. he wanted to avoid another fight..”

Louis was walking outside the kitchen, Zayn “ where are you going?”,

Louis “ I need a shower Zayn.. and then I'm going to Niall's office..”  
****

Louis started to feel hope again, if Harry sent him his divorce papers then Harry was alive, and planning to stay alive for much longer, or why he bothered himself,  
Right?

When Louis went out of his bedroom, he didn’t expect to find Zayn and Liam still waiting for him, but also he wasn’t surprised, deep down he was grateful , he needed them, and right now he needed them the most.

While the three men was walking inside the big building where Niall's office was there, Zayn was again telling Louis to remain as calm as he could , he told him now if he attacked Niall again, Niall wouldn't hesitate to press charges against him, Louis already knew that, but now he was sure that Zayn would watch his back if he acted crazy again, after all Louis couldn’t trust himself when it came to Harry.

When Niall Secretary finally let the three gentlemen in, Niall was waiting for them sitting on his big desk, and he was nervously smiling,

“ I was expecting you Mr Tomlinson..” Niall started with a handshake

Louis tried to smile, and accepted the handshake,  
“ then you know why I'm here..”

Niall nodded looking at Zayn and Liam “ I see you bring company with you..”,

Louis smiled and sat in front Niall “ they are my friends, they are here to calm my nerves” he said teasing,  
Niall laughed at the start, but he cut it off when he realized the seriousness in Louis's words, Liam sat in front of Louis, while Zayn preferred standing up.

Louis now felt his nervousness , and now it was the right time

“ where is Harry?”

Niall confused “ excuse me... I can’t share this information with you..”

Louis was trying to keep calm “ you can’t?”

Niall nodding “ it’s my client orders, and he trusts me to protect his privacy..”,

Louis “ you do understand that your client is still my husband..”

Niall nodded “ I do sir, and I think you do understand that he doesn’t want you to know where he  
is..”

“ oh my God..” it was Liam angrily “ who do you think you are?”,

Niall looked at Liam “ I'm only doing my job. protecting my client”

Liam “ you don’t protect him, you don’t understand what you are doing.. he ..”

Louis stopped Liam “ Liam?”

Liam looked at Louis “ Louis.. it’s not safe for..”

Louis said sternly “ stop..”

He kept Harry’s secret for years, and he would keep it forever, he would not ever let people know how weak Harry was, how much he suffered, he would always be cheerful Harry , active loving life Harry.

Liam pressed his mouth shut, while Louis looked back at Niall who seemed lost there

“ he needs medical care.. at least tell me he is doing okay?”

Niall shook his head “ I can’t discuss his personal stuff with you..”

Zayn took a deep breath, he was the one who needed to control his anger after all.

Louis sighed “.then what can you discuss?”

Niall “ Mr Tomlinson.. why exactly are you here? ,Because if you are here to discuss the divorce settlements , then we can talk..”,

Louis sighed and then looked down, he needed anything, he needed any slip to start with,  
“ okay.. what does he want?”

Niall “ my client wants nothing”

Louis was shocked and again worried, Naill “ he leaves you the house, the bank account..”

“ no..” Louis whispered

Niall completed “ he only wants you to sign the paper..”,  
Louis took a moment to think then “ tell him I will.. but only in front of him..”

Niall “ what?”

Louis “ I want to see him , one last talk.. then I will sign the paper..”

Niall kept silent, Louis “ tell him to meet me anywhere.. he can choose the place, the time, and I will be there.. and I promise I will sign the paper if we met..”

Niall slowly nodded rubbing his chin, then “ ok.. I will tell him that..”

Louis finally stood up, “ it’s a deal then..”

Niall stood up, Louis “ I want an answer tonight..”

Niall nodded again “ the sooner the better..”

Louis “ exactly..”

Then the three gentlemen left the office, Louis was feeling luck by his side, because that was exactly how Harry wanted to deal with this thing , he wanted Louis to sign the paper to make sure Louis abandon him, and Louis would make sure Harry understands the truth.

Louis went home after that waiting by his phone for the call , he again couldn't sleep , and he felt pain all over his body, his head was killing him, and all he wanted now was Harry

Then the phone rang

Harry. 

Louis hastily answered “ hello Harry..”

Harry said dryly “ you want us to meet?”

Louis wanted to cry now, his heart was beating fast, and he felt he couldn't control his body, he was trying not to show his concerns, “ yes.. I deserve a chance to explain..”,

Harry again said sternly “ no need for any explanation..”

Louis “ I still want to..”

Harry took a moment to think , Louis knows that cause he was still hearing his breathing “ okay.. tonight at 7.. our place..” , Then he hanged up.

And Louis finally started to breath again, harry called him, he sounded okay, and at night he would make sure he was okay. 


	5. Chapter 5

6:45

Louis was watching the window waiting for Harry, he was drinking his tea, and he felt silly. 

He never expected to do this with Harry, wait for him to discuss their divorce. Really? Divorce? 

Louis remembered the first time he met Harry, it was a long time ago now, Louis and Harry were at the same school, but they were never friends. 

Louis was at the football team, while Harry with some friends formed a band, and they were always singing everywhere, and they never missed a match.

It was an important match that day, and winning was a must, but they lost.

After the match, Louis didn’t leave the changing room, he was angry and disappointed, it was his last match, he will leave for college, and he really wanted to win so bad

“ don’t be sad..” a voice said,

When Louis raised his head up, he met green eyes with curly hair

He knew the kid, he always saw him singing and he liked his song and energy. 

Then the kid walked and sat by Louis,

“ you did a good job. The whole team.. we are so proud..”

Louis was still watching him , then he smiled “ thank you.”

Harry smiled widely “ no I mean it.. we are, actually we were making you a big party, and they are all waiting.”

Louis nodded “ yeah... I know.. but no I can’t make it.”

Harry “ okay.. then I can’t make it too..”

Louis “ Harry , you are the main vocalist.”

Harry shrugged “ and you are the captain of the team.”,  
Louis sighed “ please...Harry, don’t get me wrong, but I need some privacy..”

Harry shook his head “ no"

“ no?”

Harry nodded “ I don’t get you wrong.. I know you need to be alone.. but no.. you need to celebrate your good work with people who are really appreciating your efforts.”

Louis looked down, he couldn argue the kid and he needed to be alone so badly 

Harry sighed “ you must learn to lose..”

Louis “ what are you talking about.. what do you know about losing.. have you lost before?”

Harry raised a brow “ a match? No I don’t even know how to score. but I lost other things.”,

Louis chuckled sarcastically, Harry smiled and ignored

Louis “ are you staying with me just like that.”

Harry shook his head “ no you are coming with me.. or people will really get upset, and I will tell them you not only lose the match but also spoil their amazing concert"

Louis finally truly smiled, Harry “ it’s okay to lose Louis.”,

Louis sighed “ I know Harry.. it just.. it’s my last match here and I really wanted to win.”

Harry nodded “ I know that. and trust me we all do.”

Louis finally stood up “ okay let go then.”

Harry surprised “ already? I thought it gets lots of words.. there is a whole conversation in my mind to convince you.”

Louis laughed “ no need to.”

Harry standing up “.I'm getting better then.”

He held his guitar bag “ I got an idea..”,

Louis looked at him, Harry smiled wide “ you will sing with me tonight..”, Louis smiled “ not gonna happen.” and he walked away

It happened.

Louis remembered that moment like it happened yesterday, how Harry could convince him to sing, how much fun they had on the small stage, how the power he felt, and the happiness that fill his heart that night.  
He was happy, Harry was happy, and it ached his heart.

Harry stopped singing the way he used to, he still sang but not like before, something was missing, he was doing the same movement, having the same attitudes, but something wasn't right, something was lost

Harry never stopped singing, it was a part of his treatment, he was singing at some clubs, people loved him, his friends encouraged him, they never knew what was the main reason for doing it. Harry had his own fashion line, it was not so big, but he loved what he was doing, so they never understood why. only Louis knew the reason, Harry was singing to remind himself he was okay, Harry was singing because it was a part from his past, before any bad thing happened, Harry was singing to pretend he was okay again, but he couldn't pretend forever, sometimes he was crying while singing, sometimes he couldn’t continue singing at the middle of the song, and he just was smiling trying to hide his tears, no one noticed , Louis only did.

The car arrived , Harry parked at the drive, he stopped his car, but he didn’t leave the it. 

When Louis started to get worried, Harry finally opened the door, and moved out of the car, he was looking down, and Louis knew Harry was in his dark place.

Louis opened the door, and Harry stopped at the stairs in the entrance , he looked at Louis, he then took a deep breath

Louis smiled “ hello Harry.“

Harry looked at him without talking, Louis took two steps outside

“ come on in.”

Harry whispered “ I can’t..”

And that hurt, Harry always said he loved his home, it was his safe place, but now he could not get inside,  
Louis tried “ why?”,

Harry shrugged “ I just.. I don’t want to get inside.”

Louis nodded, he understood. Harry stopped going to his parents house right after the accident, he just couldn’t

Louis “ so, what do you want to do?”

Harry sighed and looked down, he shook his head “ I can’t.. I thought I can.. I'm sorry...I'm sorry..”

Harry was breathing fast now, and he started to tremble,

Louis ran down the stairs, he saw how Harry was acting, he put his hand on his back, but Harry moved away, he didn’t want Louis's touch, Louis moved his hand away, and for a second, Louis was shocked, Louis was the one who calmed Harry, now Harry refused the touch. 

Louis finally nodded “ it’s okay.. I .. tell me what do you want.”

Harry shrugged still looking down

Louis “ do you want to go to any place to talk.”

Harry didn’t move, he was crying, and Louis winced for the shape of Harry now, Harry was broken, he was lost and Louis was the reason.

Louis “ okay, let's go to Cheryl cafe.”

Harry shook his head, Louis “ okay Harry.. I know where to go..”,

Harry finally nodded, still looking down

Louis.” Do you want to get in my car.. “

Harry shook his head, Louis “ your car? I will drive..”

Harry finally walked to his car and got inside next to the driver seat. And Louis followed. 

******

Louis chose a restaurant serving the best pasta Harry loved, he knew Harry wasn’t eating well, he lost weight , Louis noticed even it was less than a weak. 

When Louis parked the car, Harry looked at the place, and again Louis saw the tears in Harry’s eyes, he wanted to reassure him, but he knew if he said anything now, Harry would take it wrongly.

Together Louis and Harry entered the restaurant, Louis chose a quite table at the corner of the place, and they sat there, Louis ordered for both of them while Harry remained silent looking at his lap the whole time.

“ are you okay?” Louis finally asked,

Harry nodded, Louis “ can you please look at me?”

Harry didn’t move, Louis took a deep breath , then “ you want a divorce Harry , at least look at me when I explain to you.”

Harry shook his head, Louis “ Harry.. please.. “

Harry looked at Louis , Louis “ I can’t do this.”

Harry didn’t talk, louis “ and I know you are hurt, you are angry... and you need an explanation but don’t do this.”

Again nothing, Harry was looking at him eye glassy

“ we don’t deserve this Harry.. we don’t need this.”

“ no..” Harry finally spoke, it came weak, and shaky, but he said something

Louis “ Harry..”

“ you need this.. I know you do.” Harry said clearly now

Louis “ what are you talking about..”

Harry “ I know why you did this I actually was expecting this.”

Louis frowned “ expecting what.. it was a mistake Harry.”

“ I've always been a burden to you. you always helped me Louis, but I know how it was hard.. and now.. I'm setting you free “

Louis sighed “ Harry.. you are wrong.”

“ am I?”

Louis looked at Harry in the eye , Harry knew what he was talking about, Harry knew that Louis was tired, he knew that Louis wasn’t happy

“ you always take care of me for the last eight years you were always there. and I appreciate everything you did for me"

Louis was looking shockingly at Harry, he wasn’t expecting this, and all the words he was ready to say now was vanished from his mind

“ I can’t repay you. I can’t bring back all your wasted years-”

“ stop..”

“ but this is all I can do for you. I'm giving you your freedom.”

Louis was shocked and confused “ what are you talking about. you were never a burden Harry. I take care of you because you are my husband. because I love you not because I had to, I don’t need you to repay me..I don’t...Harry I'm not letting you go.”

Harry was still looking at Louis “ you were the best thing that ever happened to me."

Louis now knew that Harry wasn’t even listening, he was hunted by his thoughts, he believed his thoughts, and his mind was telling him that it was over, and Louis figured whatever he was going to say now wouldn't matter. 

Louis put his hand on Harry’s hand that was on the table, he looked deeply at his eyes “ Harry... Are you listening to me?”

Harry was staring at Louis, Louis squeezed softly Harry’s hand “ are you?”

Slowly Harry nodded, Louis “ I love you Harry... ever since I met you at that changing room in Cheshire.. I loved you since I heard you singing for me , do you remember those songs Harry.. they were beautiful"

Harry smiled a little bit nodding “ they were stupid.”

Louis shook his head “ no.. they weren’t. I love them all, every single one of them. Harry we can make it, we can fix this. give me another chance.”

Harry closed his eyes now letting the tears fall freely, he moved his hand from Louis’ grip “ I can’t..”

Louis now wanted to cry “ yes you can.”

Harry opened his eyes “ no.. I can’t.. I can’t let you suffer with me any more. you don’t deserve  
this.”

“ I want this.”

Harry was crying “ no.. you don’t. you think you do now but you don’t, and I can’t keep doing this to you.”

Louis was still trying “ Harry please.. give me a second chance. I know I was wrong and I'm sorry.”

Harry wiped his tears away “ I know you are sorry Louis... but I still need a divorce.”

Louis shook his head “ no"

Harry sighed “ don’t make it harder .please”

Louis was really shocked now “ no Harry no.. never.”

Harry cried again “ this is unfair.”

“ divorce is unfair Harry.”

Harry shook his head “ no.. this is unfair. why do you have to stick with me?I am a bad person I never think of anyone else but me. I always put me first. but you.. you are an angle Louis.. you never think of your self and I think now it’s your time, you don’t need a broken one to hold you back.”

Louis crying now “ stop saying this about yourself. you are not broken.”

Harry raised his voice “ I'm.. I was and I will always be. Nothing makes me better I tried I swear to God I did.. I tried to be a better person for you but I failed and I just keep failing and I'm sorry.. you don’t deserve this..”

Louis almost yelled “ stop saying this Harry.. God.”

Then he calmed down looking around him, no one was watching them, he looked back at Harry who was looking down now ,

“ it’s my choice Harry and I choose to be with you and I don’t care. if you get better now or not I don’t want you to get better for me. I want you to try to get better for yourself. you are a loving person Harry, people loves you. when you love yourself you become someone happy.. and I love this but I love you all. I love you in all ways. please don’t keep me away. please don’t let me go through this.”

Harry kept crying

“ I deserve you. I need you Harry.. I can’t make it without you. you think I'm here because of you but I'm here because of me too. you are a part of me Harry you define me..”

“ I'm a disease.” Harry whispered

Louis cried, because Harry had collapsed, Harry was falling down, and he didn't want a help from Louis

“ please, don’t say that about yourself, you are the reason I want to live Harry.”

Harry shook his head, Louis nodded and tried to make Harry look at his eyes “ yes.”

“ no.. you don’t need me anymore.”

Louis “ don’t say that.”

“ you replaced me..” Harry cried harder

“ it was a mistake..” Louis also was crying hard “ please tell me what to do to make it up. please I want to fix this please Harry. I need you to forgive me.”

Harry “ don’t cry. “

Louis remembered how Harry was feeling when Louis cried , how he became anxious and nervous 

“ I can’t stop baby.. I'm losing you.”

“ I forgive you .”

Louis tried to calm down , he nodded “ okay..”

“ but I need a divorce.”

Louis closed his eyes now,he didn't understand Harry now, then he opened it “ why?”

Harry “ I don’t want this marriage..”

“ no..”

“ we are not happy..”

“ I'm happy...”

Harry shook his head “ you sleep with other women.”  
he sobbed uttering the last word

Louis “ I'm sorry.. it won’t happen again.”

Harry “ you are not happy Louis.“

Louis stopped talking now, he took a moment to breath, to think

“ I need a divorce.” Harry said again

“ I'm not signing the papers Harry..”

“ I have a boyfriend..”, Harry said looking down  
And Louis didn’t talk, he looked at Harry shockingly,  
“ I need a divorce... we are leaving.. we will move to Spain.”

Louis couldn’t find his voice  
“ so you need to divorce me.”

“ what are you doing?” Louis finally could speak

“ you heard me right..”

“ Harry..”

“ he needs to get married as soon as we can.”

Louis almost yelled “ who the hell is he.”

Harry shrugged he said with a shaky voice “ not of your business..”

“ what are you doing..” again Louis asked” is this a lie? Are you having a laugh..”

Harry looked at Louis didn’t talk, Louis finally sighed covering his eyes with fingers “ Oh God. you are serious..”

Harry looked down again  
“ when did you meet him. who is he anyway?”

Harry shrugged, Louis “ you are replacing me Harry.”

Harry shook his head, and Louis again saw tears falling

Louis “ then what do you call this..”

Harry looked again at Louis “ I need a divorce.”

Louis finally stopped talking, the food arrived anyway, he waited until the waiter put all the food, his mind was racing, it hasld to be a lie, what was Harry saying, and how, and why, when Louis looked at the food, his stomach twisted, he wanted to throw up

Louis stood up immediately Harry looked at him shockingly, Louis “ I will be back..” 

the he ran to the bathroom, he almost trembled getting inside one stall, he collapsed on his knees in front of the toilet, he lift the toilet seat, and he retched violently, he was throwing up all the pain he heard, all the hurt he felt, he cried throwing up, and he felt the world was spinning around him, he was scared, he was lost, he felt defeated.

When Louis finally stopped vomiting, and got back after controlling his shaking body, he found the table was empty, no sign for Harry, he was expecting that actually, he walked towards the table breathlessly , he collapsed on the chair, and he found in front of him a tissue, he opened it and it was Harry’s handwriting,

"  
I took my love, I took it down  
I climbed a mountain and I turned around  
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills  
'Till the landslide brought me down  
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?  
Can the child within my heart rise above?  
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?  
Can I handle the seasons of my life?  
Well, I've been afraid of changing  
'Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Even children get older  
And I'm getting older too  
Yes, I'm getting older too  
Well, I've been afraid of changing  
'Cause I've built my life around you  
But time makes you bolder  
Children get older  
And I'm getting older too  
Yes, I'm getting older too  
Oh, take my love, take it down  
Oh, climb a mountain and turn around  
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills  
Well the landslide will bring it down  
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills  
Well the landslide will bring it down  
The landslide will bring it down “

Louis was crying, and he was hopless too, with a beoken heart, and a empty mind, Louis also left the restaurant, still trying to understands, but he knew he would never does.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ❤️❤️ Happy valentines day everyone ♥️♥️

“ are you sure ?” Zayn asked confused

Louis “ I know Harry. he never lies... it's true” 

Louis said still trying to calm himself, he still couldn't understand what just happened, after leaving the restaurant, Louis headed directly to Zayn's place, and there was also Gigi, so the three of them were sitting in the kitchen, when Gigi saw Louis she insisted to feed him, he looked pale, and also he felt a little bit dizzy

Zayn “ but how.. and when? And who?”

Louis sighed, Gigi was listening to them, leaning on the kitchen board beside the stove

“ I have no idea Zayn.”

Zayn “ Harry loves you Louis you should know that.”

“ I know Zayn... I know Harry’s feelings, I don’t know his so called boyfriend. what does he want from Harry.” 

Zayn “ what do you mean?”

Louis couldn't keep calm, he was nervous that he could not stay on his seat, he left his seat and paced the kitchen  
“ I mean... there is something wrong with Harry, he tried to kill himself, how suddenly someone showed up in his life and wants to marry him as soon as they can.”

Zayn was shocked now “ marry?”

Louis almost snapped “ yes.. marry.”

Zayn “ shit.. what does it mean? I think he lies.. no I'm sure he lies, there is no boyfriend or anything.”

Louis took a deep breath, he wanted to believe that so badly

“ there is a boyfriend.” it was Gigi this time

Both Louis and Zayn looked at her shockingly,  
Gigi took a deep breath “ Liam”

Louis getting angry now “ Liam what?.”

Gigi looked at him “ you need to calm down.”,

Louis didn't calm down of course “ Liam what Gigi..” he yelled now,

Zayn left his seat and walked to Gigi “ Gigi what do you know?”,

Gigi was looking at Louis “ I don’t know anything. I swear... but- “ she was getting nervous too

Louis yelled again “ what?”

Zayn put his hand on Gigi's shoulder, he didn't like Louis's tune, but he also understood Louis's anxiety  
” calm down Louis" he told him 

Gigi “ all I know. there was someone asked Liam about Harry but everything was okay between both of you. i mean it was before Harry finds out about ... I mean.. God you know what I mean"

Louis with a shaking hand and a rigid breath, he took his phone from the table, and he looked at it, his hand was shaking violently, and he couldn't see, his vision was blurred, his breathing was shallow and he was this close from passing out. 

“ are you okay?” Zayn said standing beside Louis  
Gigi hastily poured some water for Louis in a glass and she gave it to him, Louis took it, and she helped him sitting down while Zayn took his phone and he called Liam

Gigi sat beside Louis “ I'm so sorry Louis.. I never thought it meant anything, when Cheryl told me it was meant for fun.. we laughed about it and that was it.” Of course Cheryl.

Gigi was really sorry “ I feel stupid. “

Louis shook his head, it was all he could do, he couldn't talk, he couldn't think, it was true, Harry had a boy friend and it was true.

Zayn came back he sat beside Louis “ Liam is on his way.”

Louis looked at him “ what did he say?”,

Zayn “ nothing.. I didn’t tell him anything. I said we need him here.”

Gigi stood up and headed towards the stove again,  
Louis to Zayn “ do you know anything about this?”

Zayn sighed, Louis closed his eyes “ God"

Zayn “ Liam told me someone asked about Harry.. he thought he was single..”

Louis “ it was Cheryl's idea.”

Zayn looked down, yes now he understood. 

Gigi put a plate of fresh pasta in front of Louis, he looked at her confused, Gigi sighed “ you need to eat.. look at your face.”

Louis “ I can’t eat Gigi, my face is fine .”

Gigi ignored his comment “ I don’t care.. you must eat. you will collapse Louis anytime soon.”

Louis looked at the plate, and he knew she was right, he was going yo collapse collapse, he flet his body was giving up and that couldn't happen now. 

He took the fork and started to eat. 

Zayn to Gigi “ do you know who he is?”

Gigi shrugged thinking “ I don’t know his name. but I have seen him before.”

Louis left the fork and looked at her, Gigi “ he is tall, black hair, he looks handsome. I think you might know him Louis he works also in fashion.“

And Louis's heart dropped, he knew him, his name was Peta , Harry talked about him before, he told Louis he was thinking he was hitting on him, he told him he was watching him and visiting him in Harry’s store continuously , Harry never liked him, he always felt anxious when he was around, and now Harry was with him, Harry was trying to hurt himself, anxious Harry always hurt himself.

Louis's stomach twisted again, he stood up hastily and rushed to the bathroom, closed the door behind him and finally gave up, he threw up a lot, it was painful, it was exhausted, and Louis was getting weaker now,  
He flushed the toilet, and took some minutes on the floor leaning on the cold wall, he was thinking, he knew what Harry was doing, he wanted to prove to Louis that he was okay, he was okay without him, that Louis shouldn't feel guilty anymore if he leaves him, Harry was starting a new relation, a toxic one, and he was already scared from his partner, harry wasn’t okay, wasn’t thinking right. Harry wasn’t thinking at all, he would do something stupid eventually, and that idea was terrifying.

When Louis went outside again, he found Liam in the kitchen who stood up immediately and headed towards him 

“ I'm so sorry Lou. I didn’t understand I never thought it was serious”

Louis “where does he live?”

Liam “ Spain..”

Louis losing his temper “ here. where does he live here?”

Liam “ I don’t really know... I .. “

Louis said sternly “ask Cheryl.”

Liam confused “ what?”  
,  
Louis sitting “ ask Cheryl.. she knows”

Liam still confused “ how..”

Louis “ and don’t tell her anything about me. she will warn him.”

Liam took the phone and moved outside the kitchen,  
Zayn looked at Louis “ are you okay.”

Louis took a deep breath, then he shook his head, of course not, he wasn’t okay, he was worried, he was angry, and he felt like really losing Harry

Liam returned and he said looking ashamed “ I've got the address.”  
*******

In front of a big house, Zayn parked his car, Louis , Liam were with him, and Louis was still trembling

Zayn “ we are here guys..”

Louis was looking through the window, Zayn looked at him “ are you ready?”

Louis looked at him and shrugged, he really didn't know, he was scared, he hated the whole situation, and he still found it hard to believe.

Liam rang the bill while Louis and Zayn waited impatiently

Finally the door was opened, a tall man with black hair and dark grey eyes opened the door

When he saw them he frowned, Louis could see that,  
“ how can I help you gentlemen..” Peta said with a fake smile

Liam “ Peta. stop it, you know why we are here.”

Peta looked at him wondering

Zayn said “ where is Harry?”

Peta now lost his smile, he looked directly at Louis  
“ I don’t understand-.”

Louis took a deep breath “ where is my husband? ”

Peta shook his head “ no, he is not your husband Louis.”

Zayn clenched his teeth “ so he is here”

Peta “ well it-"

Zayn just pushed him and got inside followed by Louis and Liam

“ Harry..” Louis called

Peta frustrated “ you know I can call you the police”

Louis turned to him “ and tell them what exactly? you have my husband so where is he? .” he called again “ Harry..”

Peta just sat at the chair beside the door and he watched the three men teasingly 

Louis was losing his mind, and Peta was watching him,  
Louis said “ I swear to God. if you didn’t tell me where he is.. I will kill you.. I will..”

Peta laughed loudly and sarcastically “ oh you are threaten me now! "

Liam tried calmly “ we are not here for any fights Peta , just tell us where is Harry? ”

Peta looked at Liam now, then “ no.”

Louis was going to attack him while Zayn grasped his arm to stop him,

Liam looked at both of his friends losing their minds, he was losing his mind too, but he knew if there was anyone of the three of them who could control his temper, it would be him. 

He looked at Peta “ you don’t understand what you are doing”

Peta waited for more, Liam just looked at Louis

Louis finally set himself free, but he didn’t move he said 

“ Harry is sick. mentally sick.. he doesn’t know what he is doing , he doesn’t think right lately”

Peta was watching Louis calmly, then “ I know."

Louis shook his head “ no you don’t, you think it was just one time, he tried to kill himself one time but no... he tried it before and he will try it again and if you weren’t there at the right time... he could die..”

Peta only nodded, but didn’t look surprised, didn’t say anything

Louis tried to read him, but he failed , finally he said  
“ please, .. you don’t know how to deal with him.. please..” he was begging close to tears 

Peta finally left his seat, he walked to the mini bar in front of them, “ i don’t need to deal with him..”, Then he poured himself some Champaign

Then he looked at them “ I don’t care about his mental health either. there are other things I care about or shall I say parts..” then he laughed

Zayn was going to attack this time, but Liam stopped him

Louis asked “ what do you mean?”

Peta shrugged “ he is attractive, beautiful, and when he is high... oh God... I feel like I’m in heaven"

Louis was listening shockingly, then he winced at the idea of using Harry

“ don’t you dare..” he whispered

Peta looked at him “ he is a full adult he knows what he is doing. i've never forced him to do anything.”

Louis closed his eyes trying to remain focused, he felt like losing his balance now, Zayn noticed and he got closer for any help

Peta “ actually.. he offers himself to me.. repeatedly.”,

Louis “ fucking liar..”

Peta shook his head “ why would I lie to you? why do you think he needs divorce? ”

Louis suddenly jumped on Peta, he couldn't take it anymore, he had to do something, he had to stop him somehow

Louis was yelling “ I won’t let you ever use him"

Peta didn’t try to defend himself “ he wants that..”

Louis yelled again, but now Zayn and Liam interfered to stop Louis

Louis said holding Peta from his collar “ you are deceiving him”

Peta “ he is an adult.. he is responsible for his acts..”

Louis “ he is sick.. he doesn’t know what he is doing.. you can’t deal with him he is too much for you”

Peta smirked and looked at something behind Louis “ I think you need to tell him that yourself.”

Then Louis felt Zayn and Liam lost their grasp, they were looking at something shockingly

When Louis turned his face he saw Harry, and he froze, he loosen his grip and looked at Harry 

That wasn’t his Harry

Harry was standing there, a huge blue bruise under his left eye, he was wearing different clothes, dressing like a mafia member, he was all in black, holding a cigarette in a hand and Harry never smoked really, his eyes were red, he was shaking and it was obvious

He looked at Louis coldly “ I thought we ended this.”

Louis finally found his voice “ Harry?”

Zayn “ what happened to you?”

Harry looked at Zayn now “ you don’t like what you see Zayn?”

Zayn groaned “ of course not... look at you.”

Liam “ Harry why are you doing this?”

Harry laughed sarcastically “ oh... no you don’t get to ask me this. not after what you did..”  
Zayn “ what?”

Harry “ you all betrayed me. you all deceived me. you thought I was an idiot that I was a fool"

Liam shook his head “ no.. Harry never..”

Harry looked at him eyes glassy “ you are an idiot Liam Payne.. you are being used too"

Liam was confused now, Zayn “ Harry... stop it.”

Harry looked at him “ why? Oh wait a minute.. I think you know Cheryl was cheating too. of course you do. did Gigi askes you to hide it? you always do what Gigi asks.”

Liam gasped, while Zayn “ what are you talking about? "

Harry smiled “ facts.”

Louis finally said “ you are high Harry..”

Harry looked at him , then he laughed “ you know what? . I am... and I love it... it makes my finally understands.”

Louis tears fill on his cheeks “ understand what Harry.? ”

Harry smiled “ everything... all the questions in my mind finally got the answers. all the noises.. finally ... hushed. it's amazing feeling Lou... I know you know that..”

Louis didn't try to wipe his tears “ what are you talking about baby? ”

Harry “ when you cheat on me... I know you were high too.. and I told myself it must be a great feeling that you insisted to feel it again and again and again..”

Louis whispered “ stop..”

Harry “ and I told myself I need to try this too. the cheating and you know what ? it’s delicious... I understand you Louis.”

Louis was getting closer “ Harry let's go.”

Harry took two steps back “ go ? Where?”

Louis “ home..”

Harry looked at Peta who was watching amused, then he looked at Louis 

“ but I don’t have a home Louis.”

Louis “ no baby.. we do”

Harry suddenly laughed loudly “ we? There is no we Louis... we are over.”

Louis shook his head “ no.. I still can save you.”

Harry looked at him frowning, Louis “ please , let me help you..”

Harry then asked“ why?”

Louis “ what!”

Harry “ why do you always want to save me, help me , change me... well this is who I am..”

Louis shook his head “ no..”

Harry yelled “ yes... I don’t need what you want for me. I am sick you just said it... and I will always be sick”

Louis “ you can be healed.”

Harry yelled “ but I don’t want to... I am sick.”

Louis yelled back “ you don’t want this.”

Harry shook his head and the tears already formed in his eyes “ but I'm happy..”

Louis yelled louder this time, he hated this he hated how stubborn Harry was and he didn't like what Harry was trying to prove “ happy?!”

He got closer again , still yelling “ you call this happy? Being a whore makes you happy.”

No one expected this, not even Peta, they all looked shockingly at Louis. He knew what he did, but he had to bring sense back to his husband 

Louis said dryly, although his heart was aching “ how doez this makes you happy? becoming an addict makes you happy? losing yourself forever, losing ever valuable things makes you happy? how does this makes you happy? he is using you..”

Harry yelled, tears cascading his face“ he is not.”

Louis chuckled sarcastically “ of course he is. he is using you. he knows you can’t think.he knows you want to run. you always run Harry... and yes I got tired. yes I cheated... because I got sick from trying while you refuse all my attempts”

Harry looked down “ I never ask for this..”

Louis sighed “ you don’t have to ask. I had to do this.”

Harry looked at Louis now , Louis “ the day I found you bleeding at your old bathroom..I promised myself I will never give up on you, but you were making it harder and harder harry, and I can’t... I am tired and you are tired and you are not helping.”

Harry said again looking deeply at Louis' eyes “ I didn’t need your help..”

Louis chuckled sarcastically “ of course you did.. you still do. without me Harry you would be either dead, or homeless.“  
Harry was still looking at Louis , then he said “ you should have left me die then ”

Louis sighed “ maybe I should...”  
And that exactly what Harry was seeking to hear. He wanted Louis to admit it, he wanted him to admit that saving him years ago was a mistake. And Louis felled for it and he said it loud. 

Louis knew that was stupid, he made a fatal mistake,  
Harry pressed his mouth shut , he was still looking at Louis “ you should leave.”

Louis sighed “ that was stupid.”

But Harry walked away already leaving them , Louis yelled “ Harry.. you can’t do it you can’t survive this alone you think you can but you can’t.”

But Harry vanished upstairs, Louis yelled "Harry, come on" 

Peta finally said after a long moment of silence “ well done Louis..”,

Louis was going to attack again, but both Liam and Zayn stood in front Louis

Peta then yelled “ I want you all out of my house..”

Louis looked back at the stairs hoping to see Harry still there, but there was no one. 

Peta warned “ leave now... or I will call the police I'm not kidding..”

Liam looking at Peta “ what are you doing..”

Peta yelled “ out... now..”

Then he walked towards the door, and opened it, and then he looked at them, finally Liam, Louis and Zayn had to leave, Peta was serious, he was ready to call the police, and that was too much.


	7. Chapter 7

For the next two months, Louis knew nothing about Harry, he simply disappeared again , so as Peta, no one knew where they were , not even Cheryl. 

Liam broke up with Cheryl, it was true, she was cheating on him , and Gigi did knew, but she didn’t say a word to Zayn, Liam also left, he said he needed some time alone, and no one could stop him really. 

Zayn and Gigi didn’t leave Louis's side, after that meeting with Harry that didn’t work well, and right after leaving Peta's house, Louis passed out, he wasn’t sleeping, he wasn’t eating, and he was extremely nervous, that led to a bad situation. 

Louis stayed on bed for three days, he really couldn’t leave his bed, and once he was able to walk without being dizzy, Harry was vanished. 

Louis was extremely disappointed now, at the start he couldn’t believe he lost Harry, and he blamed himself forever, it was all his fault, and right now he didn't know if Harry was okay or not, was alive or no, he was worried, and this was literally killing him. 

Louis was on the couch in front of the TV, not payi g any attention on it. he was doing nothing just lying there browsing Harry's Instagram expecting some new detail. Then phone rang, as usual his heart stood still as usual, every phone call, every door bill, they all raised hope again, and again he became disappointed. 

It was Zayn, when Louis saw the ID number, he sighed , he tried to control his voice

“ hello Zayn..” 

“ are you home?”

“ yup.”

“ okay.. we are coming.. we are ordering pizza , anything specific?”

Louis groaned “ stop feeding me.”

“ we are hungry. so hurry up.”

Louis shook his head “ no.. the usual.”

“ okay.. we won’t be late.”

Louis appreciated his friends constant attempts to make him happy again, to make sure he wad okay, he wad grateful for that really, but he wad simply not okay, not happy, he would never be any of this unless he finds Harry, and makes sure he wad okay. 

Louis sat on the chair in his house in front of the TV, he was still holding his phone in his hands, and automatically he called Harry, and as usual , it was out of service, he didn’t stop trying ever since his disappearance, and he never lost hope.

He looked again at instagram then , and the last update was more than two months ago, his photo with Harry when they were in Liam's surprise party, Harry took the photo before leaving their house, before the fight. 

Louis looked at it, and his heart ached, Harry was smiling, but his eyes were sad, he could see that now, when it was too late, if he saw how Harry looked he might had stopped him from trying to kill himself, he would talk to him and explain, he would cry and apologize , he would make sure Harry forgives him no matter how much he tried. 

But it was too late, and everything changed, Harry did try to kill himself, Harry asked for a divorce, and now Harry disappeared.

When the door bill rang, Louis hadn't noticed that thirty minutes had passed since he sat and got lost again in memories. He stopped taking the time, he stopped care anyway. 

Louis sighed again, and walked to the door, before opening he heard the hot argument between Gigi and Zayn, which suddenly stopped when Louis opened the door. 

They both looked at him , both trying to smile nervously , he looked at them sceptically , and he let them in, Gigi rushed with the pizza boxes and headed towards the kitchen, while Zayn entered and closed the door behind him

Louis was watching him “ what’s up?”

Zayn looked at him “ how are you?”

Louis “ fine.. and you?”

Zayn “ yeah, yeah.. I'm okay...”

They walked together to the TV room, and they sat on the couch again. 

Gigi calling from inside the kitchen “ Louis.. where is the Pepsi?”

Louis “ I didn’t have any since Harry.”

By mentioning Harry, Zayn tensed for a second,  
Louis looked at him and asked again“ what’s wrong..”

Zayn shrugged “ nothing..”

Louis “ you are lying”

Zayn frowning but avoided him “ no...” he looked at the TV , pretending watching the show

Louis knew Zayn by the heart, he was a man with honesty, he never lied and right now he was trying his best to lie.  
“ you are hiding something.”

Zayn shook his head nervously, still watching the TV,  
Louis sighed “ God.. what happened?”

Zayn “ nothing.why are you nervous?”

Louis groaned “ I'm not nervous.. you are..”

Zayn shook his head shrugging “ i'm not .”

Louis was getting angry “ stop lying Zayn. I thought you never lie..”

Zayn finally gave up. he was about to talk, when Gigi showed up. Eyes wide opened looking at  
Zayn, Zayn then closed his mouth. 

Louis looked between both of them then he snapped “ okay.. either of you talk.. or just fucking leave.”

Gigi looked at him, Zayn “ I have to tell him.I'm sorry"

Gigi “ you prom-"

Zayn looked at Louis “ Harry is here.”

If Louis was standing up, he would be on the ground now. 

Louis looked at Zayn shockingly “ you saw him?”

“ not me..”

Louis looked at Gigi, she was looking at him, then she nodded “ I did.. today.”

Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath “ was he okay?”

Gigi sighed and walked closer to him “ I don’t really know , i think so Lou.”

Louis looked at her confused, she said “ I was with the girls this morning, and we went to  
Starbucks.. he was leaving when I was there. he didn’t see me.”

Louis didn’t talk, his mind was racing, “ are you sure it was him?”

Gigi softly “ of course I'm sure.. I know it was him.”

Louis “ was he alone?”

Gigi didn’t talk, she looked at Zayn instead, Louis understood, no he wasn’t alone, he was still with  
Peta,

Louis “ okay.. where was it?”

Zayn “ beside Niall's office.. but what is in your mind?”

Louis looked at Zayn “ I will go to Niall. I will ask him again..” Louis stood up ready to move,

Gigi said “ why?”

Louis looked at Gigi, she sighed “ he doesn’t want you to find him.”

Louis closed his eyes “ not again Gigi.”

Gigi ignored and completed “ he made his choice. he asked for divorce, maybe you should do what he wants for once ”

Louis was shocked, he opened his eyes and looked at her frowning “ what?”

Gigi “ I know you are worried about him but he looks okay Louis he was laughing and he looks perfect.”

Perfect??

Louis shook his head “ you don’t know Harry. he is not himself, he needs help.” 

Gigi looked down “ I don’t think he does..”

Louis again was getting angry “ what are you talking about?”

Then he looked at Zayn “ what is she talking about? .”

Zayn took a deep breath, he stood up saying  
“ listen Louis..”

Louis sighed “ oh my God not you ..” , he covered his face with his hands, then he looked at Zayn,  
“ you want me to divorce him.”

Zayn “ no.. I just want you to think. maybe this is what he wants, what he really wants.”

“ no" Louis almost yelled and jumped on his feet , then he looked at both of them  
“ Harry is sick.. you don’t know him, I know him, I am the only one who knows him. I know what he wants. I understand him.”

Gigi shook her head “ I don’t think you do Louis. “

He looked at her narrowing his brows, she continued “ I think you are being possessive.”

Louis shocked “ oh God..”

Gigi “ you want him Louis. you protected him in the past, and then you believed he was yours, you always controlled him.”

Louis interrupted “ I was helping.”

Gigi shook her head and added “ you controled him Louis, you controled what he did, what he should do, who he be friends with.. you interferesld with every single decision he took.”, Louis still shocked, he tried to explain for both of them  
“ we are partners. I was telling him what was right.”

Gigi “ for you. what was right for you not for him"

Then she sighed “ Louis... I know you love him. I know you are worried.. he did tried to kill himself but that was his choice. he wants a divorce ạnd you should give him his freedom, I mean you cheated on him Lou.. what do you expect. you think he will accept that? he will swallow his pride and just ignore the fact that you were sleeping with others... women!!”

She then looked at Zayn for help, Louis also looked at Zayn, he couldn't believe this is how his friends actually was thinking of him, that he was possessive while all he wanted was helping Harry, saving his life, dragging him from his dark world. 

Zayn looked at Louis, he bit his lower lip to stop himself from saying something that could hurt

Louis knew Zayn very much after all

“ I know you are worried about him... but Louis.. give him a chance.”

Louis couldn't take it anymore, he screamed “ a chance!!! Divorce is a chance? A chance for what? No.. no Zayn you don’t know what you are talking about..” 

He looked at Gigi “ possessive? Really me? how? I always protected him.. from everything. you don’t know Harry, you don’t know how weak he is. what is in his mind. how much he hates his life. those decisions I helped him taking are the reasons he is what he is now.. I always hid the dark side of him, I always kept him in that image you love, you all love Harry because I only showed you what to love in him. I hide every other parts, when he is trapped in his dark thoughts. when he cries for days or fights over nothing. when he is silent" he shook his head in disbelief and anger " oh God Harry could stay silent for days... not saying a single word.”

He then stopped talking, he tried to hide the tears that formed in his eyes, he tried to smile to cover his pain 

“ for eight years ... I tried... I struggled to keep him alive. to make him happy.. I surrounded him with people that I made sure they love him the way he is supposed to be loved, for eight years .. I gave him his medications in time, took him to his sessions that could last for hours. I stayed awake with him because I was so scared if I slept he would do something to himself, I skipped work, I skipped social occasions, I lost friends because he didn’t feel secure around"

He shook his head in disbelief “ and it was exhausted... I was driving myself crazy. I wasn’t even gay when we met. I don’t love men I just love him.”

He looked down and took a deep breath “ I don’t know what to do.. And I am too scared"

He looked at Zayn and Gigi and sniffed “ but I know he needs me. and I won’t let him down. even if he thinks he is okay without me. I will make sure to be around.. and you call it whatever you want.”

Louis left to his room, hearing Zayn calling his name and following him, he closed the door behind him, hearing Zayn knocking, but he ignored, he sat on his bed, trying to stop his body from shacking, trying to control that anger in his heart, that hole in his chest, he felt he wanted to leave his body now, separate from his soul, he couldn't bear the pain any more, and he had to face it alone, no one understood , no one knew. 

******  
Louis didn’t leave his room, until he made sure Zayn and Gigi left, they apologized before leaving behind the door , but they received no answer. 

Louis hardly stopped his mind from revising the previous conversation, he dressed and headed towards Niall, he needed a closure, he needed to end it now. 

When he entered Niall's office, Niall was there alone, he looked at Louis, and stood up to greet him. 

Louis was nervous, and was tired, and Niall could see all the pain in his eyes

Niall tried “ do you need anything to drink..”

Louis shook his head “ have you see him lately?”

Niall looked at Louis not speaking, Louis sighed “ just answer the question will you?”

Niall slowly nodded “ I did. this morning.”

Louis nodded “ will you see him again?”,

Niall again nodded, Louis “ okay.. tell him.. I’m not doing it. I'm not signing the paper.”

Niall “ Mr Tomlinson.  
”

Louis said seriously “ I will not do this. you don’t understand he is not okay.. there is something big happening with him..”

Niall looked at him and sighed “ I know..”

Louis looked back at him shocked “ what?”

Niall shrugged “ the Harry I saw him nine months ago is not the Harry I see him in these previous months.”

Louis.” What do you mean?”

Niall “ he is not okay.. he is.. well he is always high or drunk. he always bruised.. and-”

Louis's heart skipped a beat “ what!!”

Niall shok hia head trying to find the right words “ I don’t really understand what is his wrong... but I am worried.”

Louis looked at him frowning, Niall “ I know. I know you hate me.. you blame me..I'm the reason  
for all this shit"

Louis nodded “ you are the reason for all this shit..”

Niall tried to smile sorily “ I know.. but I care about him. I mean I know him, and I like him , that’s why I helped he was a different man. okay maybe sad.. but he was alive. what I am seeing lately is a shell .. he isn't there.. and I don’t trust his so called friend .”

Louis again was nervous, Niall “ I want to help Louis.. tell me how can I help.”

Louis was shocked really, he never expected that, Niall sighed

“ please.. I need to help.. you must believe me. Harry matters to me too. I'm not sorry for what I've done.. but if it led to this. then I need to fix it too, with you”

Louis finally nodded, he had no other choice, even if Niall was lying, it was all he got, he woukd let Niall help him, he didn't know how, or what to do, but it was a start. If Zayn and Gigi would not help again, Niall would.


	8. Chapter 8

Zayn was calling Louis again, he had been calling him since their argument, but Louis never answered. instead be would rest his body on his comfortable couch in front the TV ignoring his calls. 

Not because he was angry, he was angry, but he didn’t answer because there was nothing to say, Louis couldn’t argue anymore about that, Zayn and Gigi loved him, he knew that, they loved Harry too, and he was happy for this, and if they couldn't help him find Harry, then he wouldn't waste his time now with their useless talking.

His phone stopped, then he got a text message from Zayn, it was a link, Louis opened it and he was shocked. 

It was a headline says

“ Peta's new boyfriend is his lucky charm"

Under the big headline, a photo of Peta hand in hand with Harry, both walking in the street, Peta smiling waving to the camera while Harry trying to avoid the flash lights looking down, wearing a new sun glasses, new leather black long jacket , a black hat, he was different, completely different.

The whole article was about Harry, questions about who he was, and where he was before, questions about his past, all they wrote that he was also a fashion designer, not as famous as Peta, they wrote he was divorced , and they wrote he was at hospital before, but didn’t know why.

And that was too much, if they knew the truth, if all their questions were answered, it would lead to disasters. It would cause with Harry huge troubles, and he wouldn't be able to face this.

It was a bad start, these media might destroy anyone, and a small information like why Harry was in hospital recently was enough to destroy Harry.

Louis again felt useless, he was angry, and he was this close from breaking some glass, or smashing his TV,  
His phone rang again, he answered furiously, he wanted to be angry at someone, he can’t hold it anymore,

“ yes Zayn.”

“ good morning Louis .”

Louis stopped talking, “ this is doctor Craig.”

Louis biting his lower lip to control his anxiety and his temper  
“ are you there .. Louis?”

Louis finally “ yes.. yes I'm here ... I'm sorry.”

“ did I call in a wrong time?”

Louis shook his head “ no, er.. it’s okay.”

“ I think you know why I'm calling you.”

Louis sighed “ of course I do.”

“ I think we need to talk.”

Louis frowned, the doctor continued “ he came to me once and then he stopped.. what he told me  
Louis is serious.”

“ what did he tell you?”

“ I will wait for you.. now if you can?”,

Louis already stood up and headed towards his room “ yeah.. yeah.. I'm on my way.”

*****

Twenty minutes later, Louis was with Doctor john Craig, Harry’s doctor since the last eight years, he knew them, he cared about them, and they considered him as a big brother  
When doctor Craig saw Louis , he knew immediately he was having a hard time, it had been eight years, so of course he did know Louis, and he knew that at this specific time, not only Harry who wad not okay, Louis wasn't okay either .

“ he was here?” asked Louis nervously, pacing the room

“ he was.. five days ago.”

“ oh my God.. was he okay.. what did he tell you?”

The doctor sighed “ Louis.. you need to sit and calm so we can talk.”

Louis “ I'm okay John, just tell me .” still couldn't sit

“ you are not okay.. actually he looked better than you.”.

Another one telling him Harry was better without him,  
Louis finally nodded, and sat in front of him

“ I was calling him.. after his last suicide attempt. the hospital called me and I was calling both of you..  
but I had no answers.. then out of nowhere he showed up here.”

Louis pressed his mouth shut

“ he looked different. a bruise on his face.. when I asked him he told me he fought at some club and he was obviously high.. I asked him about you, he told you are divorced.”

Then he looked at Louis, and didn’t talk, Louis frowned “ what?”

The doctor sighed “ are you? Did you do this?”

Louis didn't answer 

The doctor “ don’t tell me you gave up on him now.. not now.”

Louis confused, the doctor “ he is not okay Louis.. he looks okay.. he acts as if he is okay.. but he is not .. and I know he is planning on something.”

Louis with a shaky breath nodded

“ then I saw that article.. have you seen it, with his boyfriend.”

Louis nodded again

“ and that scares me the most you know how media is today. it will not have mercy on him. he will be a delicious meal for them. he is a good looking young man, he is talented at his career.. they can know everything we tried to hide, everything we tried to protect him from, he will have to face it .. alone”

The doctor then sighed “ we know Harry can’t face it the right way..”,

Louis of course knew all that, he had the same fears for the last few weeks, he finally looked at the doctor “ I didn’t sign the paper.. I won’t..but I don’t know what to do.. he doesn’t need me now.. he doesn’t want to get help he is happy this way.”

“ he is not.. he is empty.. he is in his worse conditions"

Louis shook his head in defeat “ I don’t know what to do.. I don’t know how to communicate with him, I don’t know what to do"

John nodded “ have you seen him lately.. have you talked to him”

Louis nodded “ I did.. two months ago.. but I screwed up”

John sighed “ oh Louis.”

“ I know.. I know.. but I was confused, and I was worried about him. I don’t know what I said but it obviously was bad because I can’t see him ever since..”,

John nodded “ when was that again?”

Louis “ two months ago.. “

John was thinking deeply 

Louis “ I looked everywhere.. I couldn’t find him, I thought he left the country, his new..friend lives in Spain, I guess he was there, ... I tried my best to contact him then Gigi .. my friend saw him two days ago.. he was with his lawyer , when I asked his lawyer for help he said he will help me.. he is worried about him too"

John nodded, then he kept silent, Louis looked at him  
“ what did he tell you?”,

John looked at Louis “ he came to say goodbye..”

Louis confused “ I don’t understand.”

John “ he just thanked me, for my help, he says he is better now, and he wanted me to know he won’t do it again, and he was grateful for me being there for him"

Louis “ what does it even mean?”

John “ I talked to him, for an hour, he skipped every question I asked him about how does he feel, he was talking carelessly, not cautious as he used to be"

Louis didn’t know what to think of, right now he needed to see Harry, that new Harry the happy one they keep saying ,

John “ he hides something.. and I tried to know what it was but.. it didn’t work with me"

Louis looked at him “ what do you think?”

John “ listen Louis, for the past eight years I knew Harry very much, I know him since he was a kid, and I can tell you he isn’t okay, he pretends and he wants to believe that, but he is someone else, a brand new Harry and he is comfortable with it, he is much stronger, has much more confident, but there is something wrong I think he misses you.”

That wasn’t expected

Louis “ he refuses to meet me..”

John “ he told me the reason he aske for the divorce Louis, I think he is still hurt.”

Louis sighed “ he is punishing himself. he got himself in a relationship I'm sure it will have a bad effect on him.. and I tried to talk to him.. I tried to make him understands.”

John “ understand what Louis?”

Louis “ why I did it",

John “ he understands Louis.. and that is the problem”

Louis was again confused, John “ Harry is trying to set you free, he doesn’t need to be a burden on you again, he knows how much you suffered and he chose to let you go so you can live your life.. he is trying to prove to you that he can survive alone..”

“ like this?”

“ exactly like this, he is doing everything he is not, he is becoming someone else, he changes his skin to convince you and himself that he can survive without you.. and I don’t know if he can..”  
Louis “ he is lying..”

John nodded “ but he is trying.. he is confused, he is hurt.. you are his love of his life, you cheated  
Louis and he can’t even blame you, he hates himself that’s why he is trying to be someone else.."

Louis “ tell me what can I do then? If he is doing all this shit to prove he is okay. How can I help him..”

John “ he doesn’t need help..”

Louis “ then what?”

John “ he needs to be saved.. from himself, Louis he is putting himself in shit bigger than himself.. he is killing himself slowly.”

Louis getting angry, he left his seat again “ tell me what to do.”

John looked at him “ talk to him..”

Louis furiously “ he doesn’t want this..”

“ try again.. and again.. try as much as you can.. don't give up now.. he might be alive but he will certainly be dead inside.”

Louis closed his eyes, it’s too much, he couldn't take it anymore, he didn't want to care anymore, but this wad Harry, Harry deserved every try.

*****

When Louis left John's office, he drove his car , thinking of everything was said with John, the ache in his chest was unbearable, the thoughts in his mind were killing him, and again he felt defeated.

His phone rang, it was Niall, Louis answered immediately, there must be some news, and there was, Niall found where Harry lived, he gave him the address, and he told him that was his last chance, because Harry would know that Naill gave him the address, and he would stop dealing with him again.

Louis stopped in front the giant door, he rang the bill and waited , he was ready , he would tell the servant to call Harry, only Harry not Peta, he would control himself, asking decently to have a talk, he would try to understand him, and he prayed that luck would be by his side this time. 

The door was opened, and Harry was face to face with Louis. 

At the start he was shocked, but only for a second, then he shook his head in disbelief

Louis started “ Hello Harold.. can I come in?”

Harry smiled and he let him in, he used the favourite nickname Harry always loved

“ congratulations..” Louis said following Harry, Harry didn’t answer, didn’t ask for what

“ for your new relation..” Louis continued, looking around him “ and new house"

Harry entered the kitchen, and Louis followed, he then looked at Louis “ tea? Or drink?”

Louis “ it's still midday Harry.. I don’t drink..”

Harry looked at him and finally he nodded, he poured him some tea, and poured himself some drink with ice, Louis was watching him, but he didn't comment, he didn't want upset him

Harry gave him the tea, and sat in front of Louis on the kitchen table, Louis was watching his face, he really did changed, looking maybe older, he gained some tan, his hair was worn in a man bun, he looked sexy, he never had done that before, light purple marks under his left eye, the little bruise they were talking about was fading away now, how could all this happen in two months. 

Harry had turned from the innocent looking to that sexy masculine man. 

Harry finally looked at Louis “ Niall gave you the address?”

Louis slowly nodded , Harry smiled looking away “ I knew he will do this..”

Louis didn’t talk, Harry “ what brings you here?”

Louis was thinking slowly, he didn't want to upset Harry again “ I wanted to see you.. where have you been"

Harry nodded “ Spain.. Peta lives there..”

It hurt. 

Louis “ is he here with you, or did he come back home?”,

Harry “ no he is here.. he has some work...”

Louis nodded, then “ how is your work?”

Harry shrugged “ it’s actually great.. I'm doing fine.. we are working together, he loves my work..”

Not just your work obviously

Louis “ are you leaving again?”

Harry looked down , then “ what do you want Louis?”

Then he looked at him “ I'm sure you are not here for a chit chat..”

Louis bit his lower lip then he said “ I miss you..”

Harry sighed “ oh God.”

Then he left his seat, Louis “ please, just listen to me.. I miss you so much.. and I'm so sorry.”

He left his seat too, and stood in front of Harry “ I did a mistake.. I know.. but you aren’t a burden... you-"

“ stop” harry said looking at him

Louis was shocked, Harry’s look was much stronger, he was confident, Louis was scared

“ I told you i forgive you”

Louis “ then why?”

Harry “ we can’t do this anymore..”

Louis confused “ do what?”

“ pretending.. I can’t pretend.. I kept pretending I'm okay because of you, and you pretended you were okay because of me and neither of us is actually okay.”

Louis “ and you are okay now..”

Harry sighed “ what’s wrong with me now? “

Louis “ look at you?”

And Harry did, he looked at his body and shrugged “ you don’t like what I dress now?”

Louis “ that’s not you..”

Harry shook his head, Louis “ you are lying to yourself.. you are lying to everyone, but you can’t lie to me"

Harry shook his head stepping away from Louis “ I'm not lying and actually I'm feeling okay.”, Louis almost yelled “ stop saying you are okay.. how is this okay"

Harry rubbed his face “ God Louis.. what do you want from me... I'm giving you your freedom.. so you can go and do whatever you want. you are not even gay Louis.. why are you doing this to yourself"

Louis was totally shocked “ why? Are you asking me seriously why?”,

Harry “ yes .. why? And don’t tell me because you love me... you don’t love me"

Louis “ of course I love.”

Harry “ no" he yelled

Then he walked back to the table and finish his drink, obviously he was getting angry, and he wanted to calm himself,

Louis was still watching “ how could you think I don’t”

Harry putting the glass down saying as calm as he can  
“ because you don’t."

then he looked at Louis again “ you helped me.. that’s right.. you saved me more than once... you protected me from myself and I’m grateful for that but you were not happy actually you never were happy with me.. you felt you have to stay with me but you were never in love with me.”

Louis whispering “ what are you talking about?”

Harry “ the truth.. the truth that both of us were running from.. Louis you cheated with women.. I see how you look at them all of the time.”

Louis “ Harry shut up just shut up.. you lie to yourself continuously that you finally believe yourself.. what are you talking about? Do you stop loving me? Is that what it is... are you doing this because you found someone else"

Harry chuckled, Louis angrily “ then what?”

Harry yelled back “ this is what I want..”

Louis looked at him , he then nodded and looked down  
“ was I being a possessive husband?” Louis almost whispered, but Harry heard , and he was completely shocked

He looked at Louis shockingly, Louis continued  
“ when you sent me the papers, Zayn and Gigi told me that.. and I'm sure Liam has the same idea..” then he looked at Harry “ tell me.. Was I ?”

Harry was watching Louis, he saw the glassy eyes, he saw the defeat in him, Harry shook his head, and he slowly walked towards him, and he hugged him

Louis hugged him tightly, and he cried, he buried his face in Harry’s neck and he cried

“ I love you Harry.. please don’t do this..”

Harry took a moment of silence, then he said  
“ I can’t..”

Louis set himself free and looked at him confused,  
Harry’s eyes were also glassy, he was trying his best to control his tears

“ you deserve a normal life Louis.. you don’t deserve this. “

“ Harry stop..”

Harry looked down “ if we stayed together.. I won’t stop feeling guilty.. and I can’t add this to the  
list.” 

Then he looked at Louis “ please, promise me you will sign the papers. “

Louis completely shocked that he couldn’t answer,  
Harry nodded “ you will sign it.. you will be okay. You will get married and have kids.. I will be fine.”

Louis sobbef “ how?”

Harry tried to smile “ this won’t be your problem anymore.”

Louis cried harder now, Harry walked towards him , he stopped right in front of him

“ you saved me millions of times.. this is the least I can give you.”

Louis shook his head “ I don’t want this.”

Harry nodded “ trust me you do.. you do.”

Louis looked at Harry in the eyes, he refused to believe it might be the last time he might see them, “ I can’t let you go..”

Harry “ it’s okay.. “ he nodded “ trust me.. it’s okay.. I want this.”

Louis “ you don’t love me anymore.”

Harry smiled “ you are the one and only Louis Tomlinson.” 

He hugged Louis again, and he printed a kiss on his lips, long and soft one, then he left the whole kitchen, just like this.

Harry wanted the divorce, and Louis knee at that moment that he was going to sign the papers, he would set him free, he would set himself free, that was what Harry wanted , he didn't know how to trust Harry, how he would live his life, but he would sign the paper, he would end this for Harry, he would try to do what Harry wanted now, although it was killing him, but he had no other choices.


	9. Chapter 9

More than One year later, 

Louis , Zayn and Niall were sitting in some cafe around the table, they just finished their meals and they were in the middle of a hot conversation, but they were laughing and it seemed a funny one. 

Then Gigi with another lady walked towards the table, the other lady was gorgeous, long brown hair, she shorter than Gigi of course and she looked lovely

“ here are the girls..” Zayn said waving his hands to them,

The girls smiled and rushed towards them, then Gigi kissed Zayn and the beauty lady kissed ... well Louis.

She sat beside him, and he embraced her by one arm

Gigi looked at the empty plates “ have you finished already?”

Niall smiled eating the last fries hastily before Gigi could eat it “ we did... you were late..”

The girl spoke “ yeah.. Gigi got caught with some old friend.. she hardly left him.”

Zayn looked at Gigi raising a brow “ really.”

Gigi smiled nervously “ he is no one.”

The lady smiled wide and said exited “ oh come on.. he is that famous handsome fashion designer slash amazing singer, the amazing Harry Styles... have you heard his songs... hello it's everywhere he is doing an interview tonight. I saw the commercial with James Cordon..”

Louis snapped his head up and his heart skipped a beat, Actually the whole table went into silent after that

Louis finally asked gigi “ he is here?”

Gigi nodded avoiding meeting his eyes

The lady was confused “ you know Harry Styles too? Baby how do you know him?”

Louis kept silent and he looked down, he didn’t answer, it was Zayn

“ he is an old friend... we all used to know him someday Eleanor .”

“ you stopped?” asking the lady Eleanor surprised

Zayn “ no not really.. he is just busy..” he tried to chose a less hurt word 

Eleanor was still absorbing “ are you Kidding me?” then she looked at louis “ you still friends?”

Louis kept just looking down, he didn’t left his head, he didn’t share in the conversation

Eleanor was looking at Louis surprised and confused “ baby.. we have been together since almost a year now, how come you never told me.. I'm like a huge fan of him. I sing his songs all the day. and his boyfriend! oh God he is a legend"

Louis tried to smile , he just nodded and showed his fake smile

Eleanor was still excited “ oh God.. can we meet him? I mean Gigi hardly introduced us.”

Gigi was trying to change the topic “ oh come on girl.. stop talking about Harry.”

Eleanor “ what is the problem?*he is Harry Styles.. the one and only.. I would have jumped on him but he seemed very shy.”

Naill finally said “ alright. that’s enough, let’s go we will be late for the movie.”

They all agreed leaving their seats, Gigi slowed her walk a little bit so she can talk to Louis alone

The whole lot was already proceeded, Gigi looked at Louis, he smiled at her wearing his jacket, he knew she wantex to talk, he looked at her smiling

Gigi “ he says hi.”

Louos pressed his mouth shut, Gigi “ you didn’t tell Eleanor?”

Louis only shrugged, Gigi “ God. how could you? he is like everywhere lately. in every TV show, in every radio channel. everyone loves the songs, your girlfriend adores him she sings his songs everywhers.”

Louis “ yeah.. but no I didn’t, all she knows I was married once before to a man and we couldn’t make it.”

Gigi nodded, she didn’t talk again, and so did Louis  
She knew he would try to fake everything now, and she didn't want to push any farther.   
****  
After the movie, no one talked to Louis, he was not himself again, he almost focused on the movie but his mind was somewhere else.

Again he took a sneak peak on google, YouTube, Instagram, and any else like he used to do all over the last year, he stalked Harry through all the social media, Harry had become someone else, a celebrity, a new singer, a famous successful singer, who released an album and a hit that was number one for several weeks, alongside his fashion brand that also become number one at many cases.

Louis was happy for Harry, he didn’t expect that at all, but Harry was doing better against all odds, Louis has seen all the previous interviews Harry has done, Harry looked better, he looked more handsome, he was looking okay, but he always felt there was something wrong, his eyes were different, his smile was different, and he barely laugh.

When Louis and Eleanor who was living with him now came home, Louis was really sleepy, and also he wanted to avoid any questions he was sure she might ask, so once they were home, he took his hot shower and jumped on his bed to sleep

He didn’t

He tried for two hours, but of course he couldn’t, he knew it would take time, but eventually he would sleep, and when he found himself failed to sleep, he decided to watch some tv with Eleanor, and maybe he could skip all the questions as usual

Once he left his room he heard

“ Just stop your crying  
It's a sign of the times  
We gotta get away from here  
We gotta get away from here  
Stop your crying  
Baby, it'll be alright  
They told me that the end is near  
We gotta get away from here  
We never learn, we've been here before Why are we always stuck and running from  
The bullets, the bullets?  
We never learn, we've been here before  
Why are we always stuck and running from  
Your bullets, the bullets? “

He knew what was that, Eleanor was watching James Cordon show, and he knew the guest, Harry.

He walked to the room, and saw El was sitting watching the show, she was in tears. she was a fan, she listened to his songs daily. Although it killed him but he was happy to hear he voice again in the house. 

She looked at him surprised “ you are awake or did I wake you up... was it too loud?”

He smiled and sat beside her, resting her leg on his thighs

She looked back at the Tv, Harry just finished his song, and he was having an applause. 

“ he is great..” Eleanor said looking at him

“ I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me about him..”

Louis smiled and ignored, he looked at the TV too,  
He did looked great, that smile , and those dimples, his weird tuxedo, his black hat. 

James as usual seemed happy having him, they looked old friend, James always said they were old friend, but when did this happen he didn’t know? Harry was Louis nest friend till last year 

“ well done.. well done Harry styles"

Again the audience cheered for him and clapped

James looked at Harry “ welcome back Harry you are finally home. .. and congratulations..”

Harry was smiling “ thanks James.. thank you so much for having me here ..glad to be home again”

James “we are happy to have you here Harry, tell me.. how are you doing.. how is everything?"

Harry “ yeah.. doing great.. the album is doing alright. And I couldn’t be any happier.”

James “.yeah it’s amazing album... amazing lyrics. tell me Harry, did you wrote them all?”   
“ I did.. yeah..”

James smiling teasing“ wow.. was it Peta the one who inspired you?”

Harry smiled “ I'm very grateful for him.. I mean I can’t deny that he is the reason I'm being here. he is the reason people know me now , he gave me opportunity after opportunity... but no.. he wasn’t the one..”

James smiled nervously “ someone else maybe?”

Harry smiled but he looked down, then he nodded,  
James trying “ can we have a name?”

Harry shook his head “ no..” he smiled widely “ he has his own life now.. having someone in his life but he has always been the one for me.”

Louis was shocked, what was he talking about  
?   
Eleanor was shocked too “ what is he talking about.. what bout Peta? .”

James “ Harry.. what about Peta?”

Harry smiled “ you know James... there is some relations that aren’t supposed to work.”

The crowds were shocked, so as Louis, he tried to control his anxious

James “ what Harry.. are you saying you broke up.”

Harry shrugged “ there are some complications but who knows”, he said ending the topic about Peta, he seemed nervous too, and he absolutely wasn't comfortable.

James nodded sorry “ well I hope the best for you.”

Harry smiled gratefully " thank you.”

James “ so Harry.. let me ask you about a specific song..I like it the most .sweat creature,what is it about..”

Harry again smiled widely “ it’s about.. er.. my old relation.”

Louis heart was beating fast, what was going on, it had been more than a year, why was he doing this  
now

James “ you mean your ex husband.”

Harry nodded, James “ is he the one and only.”

Harry smiled but didn’t answer, James “ is this a yes Harry..”

Harry took a deep breath “ it was in the past.. he is a good man he helped me a lot, he saved me more than once... and he is the one who used to bring me home..” 

he said the last word shrugging

James smiled “ I sense you are missing him.”

Louis looked down he was trying to control his shaking body now, he was afraid from being caught, and he already sensed Eleanor's eyes were on him

Harry smiled “ he was my best friend. actually his birthday is in a week so if you are watching.  
Happy birthday boobear.”

The nickname, that was it, Louis exhaled deeply, letting his tears fall on his cheeks. 

James smiling wide “ happy birthday.. whoever, and wherever you are Harry’s best friend and the reason and the one who inspired him, thank you for giving him the inspiration that lead to this beautiful album and those amazing songs. Harry Styles ladies and gentlemen..”

Harry and James stood up, the crowd went crazy again  
James ,

“ thanks for being here Harry... you are amazing..”

Then the audience cheered up again and gave him the last applause,

Then the TV turned off, and there was silence, Eleanor moved her leg away from him. 

“ it's you..” Eleanor finally said

Louis didn’t left his head, he couldn’t anyway

“ you were his ex. that’s why you never told me about him.. you never talked about the whole marriage, that was him.” she stated 

Louis slowly nodded, Eleanor “ oh my God..”

Louis took a deep breath “ I'm sorry.. I know I should have told you..”,

Eleanor slowly shook her head “ he misses you?”

Louis looked at her “ no..”

Eleanor left the couch “ he is Louis. he just told the world that..”

“ the world doesn’t know who am I.”  
“ but I do",

Louis frowned “ what do you mean?”

She looked back at him “ I know you miss him too. every time I mention or anyone say anything about you ex life you just change. shut down on yourself.”

“ what are you talking about. are you really fighting with me because of what he said.”

She sighed “ not just what he said. when Gigi mentioned his name earlier you changed ... I 've noticed that.. but I never know that this is what happened.”,

Louis left the couch “ El.. what do you want me to say.”

Eleanor “ I'm just .. worried..”

“ why?”,

She was crying now “ what is going to happen now?”

Louis walked towards her “ nothing... nothing is going to happen because what he said means nothing. he asked for a divorce, he left me. he wanted to move away. “

“ what if he want to come back?”

“ will never happen..”

She still crying “ why..”   
He smiled and he hugged her “ because now I have you.. I love you.. I want you..you will be my wife sooner than you think."

Eleanor hugged him closer “ promise me?”

Louis hugged her tighter “ of course baby I promise you..”,

Together they headed towards their bedroom, Louis tried his best not to think of what he just heard, Harry just mentioned him, Harry just said he missed him, he wished him a happy birthday, Harry was coming back to his life, and that was completely not right.

****** 

Next morning , Louis waked up on his phone ringing beside him, he reached his hand to look at his phone, it was Zayn, Zayn was calling at Seven in the morning, what was he thinking,

“ what do you want Zayn?” Louis whispered sleeping

“ check up your Twitter..” that was it, Louis was alerted now

“ why?”

Zayn sighed through the phone “ Peta.. obviously became crazy after last night interview. he started a fight with Harry on Twitter about his past. and you were mentioned.”

Louis slowly left his bed, Zayn “ call me.later..”

Louis spent the last hour scrolling through all the Twitter updates by Peta, the man became crazy, he mentioned how Harry offered himself to him, and when Harry was on drugs, when Harry overdosed which Louis knew nothing about, and some how he didn't believe it was an overdose , he mentioned Louis three times by his full name, and he mentioned when Harry tried to kill himself previously, he mentioned exactly what happened with him and Louis, the cheating, all the drama,

Louis was losing his mind, he hated Peta but now he wanted to kill him literally, he never expected such a thing,

When Louis checked his account, he found millions of new followers, obviously Harry’s fan, they supported him, and they wished him a good life thanking him for saving their beloved singer, and some asked him to look after him,

Louis didn’t need all of this shit, and he again was worried about Harry, Peta has exposed Harry, his darkest secret was now revealed for millions of people,  
when he checked Harry’s Twitter his heart sank, his fans went crazy, sending him tweets and prayers for not trying to kill himself again, other the haters asking him to do it again, and to do it correctly this time, he noticed that Harry has disappeared since last night no new updates, and he again started to feel worried about him. 

It was too much for now, he rested his phone on the front table in the kitchen, he rubbed his hand against his face, he sighed and he didn’t know what was happening

His phone rang again, he answered without seeing who was calling

“ yes Zayn..”

“ it’s Harry..”  
Louis stopped Breathing

“ I'm so sorry... so sorry.. I will fix this I promise. I never wanted this to happen this way, I will fix this.”

Louis uttered finally “ Harry?”

“ listen I will have to say something.. I will.. I.. shit.. I don’t know what to say Lou.“

Louis whispering “ it’s okay..”

“ it’s not... I never wanted you to be in this crap between me and him. I will say we are no longer friends, I will ask my fan to stop following you and leave you alone.. shit.. the media won’t stop stalking you.. I'm so sorry Lou.. I'm-"

“ Harry breath..” Louis ordered

Harry finally took a deep breath, Louis “ I know you can fix this... it’s okay.. I know you can.”

Silence. 

“ Harry? Are you there?”  
He heard sniffles, then “ I will.. I'm sorry... I have to go.”

then the line was cut without Louis response

Louis looked at the phone in his hand, everything was going on too fast, everything was crashing around him also too fast, and he was again afraid

“ what happened?” it was Eleanor 

Louis looked at her, and then he stood up , leaving the kitchen  
“ where are you going?”

He didn't know where he was going, all he knew he needed to leave, he hadto leave to be alone now, he wanted to think clearly, he wanted to know how he will handle Harry again in his life. 

He just left the house , taking his jacket and car keys, Eleanor was calling from behind, but Louis just left.

He drove his car aimlessly for two hours, his mind was empty, he finally got it, it was okay, he can handle this, he loved Eleanor, Harry wasn't coming back, this all shit was ending soon, he would be okay. 

Harry would be okay, just like the past year, everything would be fine again. 

Louis stopped his car in front of his house , he owed Eleanor an apology buthis phone rang and it was Zayn  
“ hello Zayn..”

Zayn frantically “ where are you?”

Louis sighing “ relax. . I'm fine.. I just wanted to be alone for a while.”

Zayn took a deep breath “ what did you do about your Twitter..”

“ deactivated..”

“ good.. that’s better.. what is happening ?”

“ Harry called me..” 

Zayn took a moment of silence, then “ I figured.. I knew he would call. what will he do?”

Louis “ he was panicking.. I.. tried to calm him.. he promised me to fix this..”

Zayn “ oh God... this is. Crab..”

“ I know..”

“ where are you now?”,

Louis “ I'm home.. I need to apologize to Eleanor.. I think I scared her..”

Zayn “ well I know and she is here.. listen we are waiting for you."

Louis “ okay.. good.. I was hoping she wasn't alone.. I'm on my way..”

When Louis entered Zayn's house, Gigi and Eleanor were sitting in their bedroom, Eleanor was crying, and Gigi was doing her best to calm her down

When the girls saw Louis , Gigi left Eleanor and tapped on Louis's shoulder before leaving the room for them.

Louis smiled to Gigi, they understood each other, and he was so grateful for his best friends. 

Louis then looked at Eleanor, she avoided looking at him, she was looking down, crying, he sat beside her, and then he held her hand

“ I'm sorry ... for not telling you about who he was and for running this morning.. I just freaked out and I'm so sorry.. this won’t happen again I promise..”

She nodded, but still was looking down, and he knew she could not talk right now

“ El.. I promise you... this will end soon.. “

She again nodded, Louis “ I will always be with you.. I promise..”

She whispered “ you still care .”

Louis was hurt, she was hurt and he hated to see her this way 

“ I... I knew him for long time El... he was my best friend,we were partners.. of course I still care but that doesn’t mean anything. I care for him like I care for Zayn.. for Liam.. you know... like you and Gigi.”

She looked at him “ you were married..”

Louis nodded “ yes.. but now we aren’t.. i'm in love with you. we are getting married in less than two months.”

Eleanor “ yeah.. we better do this or I can't wear the dress..” she smiled and looked at her belly

Louis smiled too but he got confused, she looked back at him smiling wide, he was starting to understand  
“ what?!”

She smiled and she hugged him, he was completely shocked

“ what.. are you serious?”

Then he looked at her “ are you sure?”

She nodded, Louis whispering “ oh my God.... oh my God..”,

He stood up, so excited , then he looked back at her  
; "are you sure?”

She nodded again “ I am..”

He rubbed his face, then he looked at her and she stood up too, he hugged her tightly, “ oh El... I'm so so happy..”

She was also happy laughing “ I know me too.”

The door was knocked, he looked at her 

“ do they know?”

She smiled “ just Gigi... I guess now Zayn.”

The door was opened, Gigi and Zayn entered, both smiling, Zayn embracing Gigi

Gigi “ yes... he knows.. look at his face..  
” Gigi telling Zayn

Zayn looked at Louis ,then he left Gigi and he hugged Louis tightly

“ congratulations Lou..”

Louis couldn’t talk now, he was overwhelmed, he just nodded, and he hide his tears away, Louis always wanted to have a baby, he always dreamed to have a family and raising his own kids, that was all his life dream,

Zayn and Gigi knew that, they were so happy for him,  
Zayn then hugged Eleanor and congrats her and Gigi did the same with Louis.

After that they decided to celebrate , they ordered pizza, and they sat in Zayn's kitchen eating, choosing names for the baby, Louis insisted they will be twins

He has a lot of twins in his family, so he was nearly sure they would be twins , and he chose, different names for boys and girls,

At the middle of their hot conversation, Zayn's phone rang, it was Niall, he answered but then he frowned, and he had to leave the kitchen nervously

Louis and Gigi noticed, they shared a silent look together, then Louis decided to follow Zayn

When he reached where Zayn was, Zayn was already ending the call, he didn’t see Louis, he took a moment to gather himself, and Louis already knew, it was a bad news

“ are you okay?” Louis asked, and Zayn startled

He then looked at Louis, and looked down,

“ what happened?” Louis was getting nervous now

Zayn took a deep breath “ It was Niall..”

“ I know.” Louis said hastily

“ Harry is in the hospital.”

Louis didn’t talk

“ it’s bad..” 


	10. Chapter 10

When Zayn and Louis entered the hospital they didn’t expect the secrecy they had to deal with, Nail told them not to talk to anyone, just move directly to the third floor and he would be waiting for them

“ is he okay?” first thing Louis asked when he saw Niall walking towards them

Niall nodded and took them inside an empty room that he was already in it, and he closed the door behind

“ what is this?” Zayn asked annoyingly

“ it’s the best for Harry..”

“ really..”

Niall said sternly “ just trust me..”

Louis ignored the tension and ignored the precautions that were taken

“ what happened? Where is he?”

Niall looking at him nervously “ still in the surgery..”

“ surgery?”

Niall nodded, Zayn “ did the media know anything?”

Niall shook his head “ not yet.. that’s why we try to keep it low as much as we can..”

Zayn nodded sighing

“ did he overdosed.. or cur his wrists?” Louis asking  
closing his eyes, it was true, Harry did it again

“ he was shot..”

Both Louis and Zayn looked at him shockingly

Niall sighed “ his neighbour heard gunshots..”

Zayn “ shots?”

Niall looked at Louis, then he nodded “ he didn’t try to kill himself this time..”

Louis opened his mouth in disbelief, he was shot  
someone shot Harry

Zayn angrily “ who did this.. why?”

Niall shook his head “ we still don’t know maybe a crazy stalker.. maybe a thief..”

Then he looked at Louis and then looked down,  
Zayn “ or?”

Niall took a deep breath “ we still don’t know.. but it might be Peta."

Zayn “ what the fuck..” he yelled

Niall angrily “ shut the fuck up.. we don’t need any eyes on us... what are you doing?”

Louis was still absorbing all the shit that was happening around him,

Niall “ after his last interview.. Peta gone mad... when he is angry.. he becomes violent..”

Zayn losing his mind now “ vio-.. what the.. he did this before?”,

Niall pressed his mouth shut, Zayn “ and you didn’t care to tell us?”,

Niall “ come on Zayn.. you made me promise not to mention his name if I want to be your friend and his lawyer... plus I can’t tell you..”

Zayn was trying his best to remain calm , while Louis was only watching them

Zayn “ this is serious Niall. he abused him... he hit him.. fuck.. that’s why he always has bruises or broken bones.”

Niall crossed his arms and whispered “ I'm sorry."

Zayn “ sorry?” he yelled again  
“ Zayn..” it was Louis this time

Niall was truly nervous, he looked at Louis  
“ I tried to help him Lou... I asked him to tell the police or even just break up with him.. but God.. he never listens and now look what he put himself through.”

Louis only nodded, he tried to breath normally, he then asked 

“ was it bad?”

Niall bit his lower lip, but didn’t answer, Zayn furiously  
“ was it?!!”

Niall “ he was shot twice on the chest.. he ..” he was nervous , he tried again “ he wasn’t breathing when .. he came..”

Zayn sighing “ oh my God..” he walked to sit on the small sofa, he can't live through thsi again,

Niall “ but he is alive.. someone from inside told me that..”,

Then the door was opened, and a tall man entered, he looked nervous, he was exhausted, and there was blood on his shirt

“ they finished.” he said

Niall sighed “ how is he?” 

The man looked between Zayn and Louis, Niall “ this is Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik.”

The man nodded, he entered the room and closed the door behind him, Niall

“ this is Eric ... Harry’s manager”

Both Zayn and Louis nodded

Eric “ the doctor will come and tell us the updates.”

Zayn was looking at Eric confused “ is that blood?”

Louis saw the blood but he was scared to ask,  
Eric looked at his shirt, he sighed

“ yeah.. I .. I'm his neighbour.. so when I heard the shots... I found him..”

Louis closed his eyes, he had found Harry in his blood before, he knew how it can get scary, he knew exactly how Eric was feeling now

Eric wiped his tears away, and gave the three men his back to control himself , it was Louis who walked to him, and he put his hand on his shoulder

“ he will be okay.. I know that.”  
But he didn't,

Then the door was knocked, and the doctor opened it.  
The four gentlemen looked at the doctor nervously, the doctor took two steps and stood in front of him, he looked at Eric

“ is it okay to talk?”

And that wad like in Louis's heart, the doctor asking Eric if it was okay to talk in front of them, His husband and his best friend, but again that was in the past,  
Eric nodded

“ yeah.. yeah.. they are the people who matters in his life..”

Obviously Eric was close to Harry, and obviously Harry talked about them to Eric

The doctor took a deep breath, he was still in his medical scrubs, he smield at them

“ I'm doctor Mark Baily.. and I will Mr Styles's doctor.”

They simply nodded, he continued “ when Mr Styles arrived he was bleeding severely and there were two shots in his chest, in his left side... barley skipped his heart..”

Louis pressed his mouth shot, he knea what did this exactly means,

“ he wasn’t breathing.. his blood pressure was two low and there was barely a heart beat..”,l

Zayn impatiently “ please... tell us he is alive..”

The doctor looked at Zayn “ he is alive..but he bled so much blood, he went into a shock, and there will be some complications we will talk about it later, but he is still in danger.. he is in ICU, on ventilator.. for tonight.. and there is a chest tube connected to his chest.. we won’t remove it till his lung is completely healed”

Zayn “ but he will be okay?”

The doctor nodded “ we hope, he is still in danger.. not stable.. but we hope he will be okay", 

“ I want to see him..” it was Louis,

The doctor looked at him “ and you are?”

Louis closed his mouth looking down nervously, Eric said “ he is the only family.”

Louis looked at Eric and Eric smiled to him, or tried to. 

*****

When Louis entered Harry’s room, he already knew what he will see, it wasn’t his first time seeing Harry struggling for his life, Harry wanted to die a lot previously, although this time it was different, this time Harry didn’t want to die, someone wanted to hurt him, someone wanted him to die. 

He saw him in hospital a lot, but it always hurts. he was there lying on the bed, he looked too small, wires are connected to his body , a large tube in his mouth, he looked pale, and Louis's heart ached, it was the first time Harry was hurt and Louis wasn't there , as far as he knows,

He stood there beside him, and he held Harry's hand, he missed him so much, he missed his touch, he was crying, and he felt for the first time since years that Harry was actually dying, he was afraid and that feeling in his chest was frightened

“ you can’t die Harry..” Louis whispered

“ you can’t die without saying goodbye. I'm not letting you go..”

Then he wiped his tears away

“ God.. why did you choose this Harry. how could you do this to us?"

Then he looked again at Harry’s face, he slowly passed his hand on Harry’s Hair, and he printed a kiss on his forehead “ I'm waiting Harry. “ 

and he moved his lips so it was on Harry’s ear and he said 

“ I love you..”

Louis closed his eyes and covered them with his hands, he took a moment to gain his strength back, seeing Harry like this always drain all his power,  
“ that’s enough for now..”

the doctor who was behind him from the start said, Louis almost forgot about him, Louis slowly nodded, and together they left the room  
*****

When Louis returned back , there was no sign for Zayn and he saw Eric almost fighting on the phone, he frowned looking at him

Niall “ they know.. the media.. they are outside the hospital..”

Louis nodded and sat beside Niall on the sofa, 

“ how is he?”

Louis just shook his head, then “ where is Zayn?”

Niall “ he is on the phone I think the girls were worried.. congratulations man..”

Louis was surprised for a second, he forgot about El, about his coming son, he was only thinking about Harry, and that was it,

He slowly smiled nodding to Naill, again he could not speak,l  
The door was again opened and Zayn entered, he sat by Louis

“ have you seen him?”

Louis nodded,and in a second he felt his eyes stinged, and it went galssy, Zayn looked at Louis, he didn’t push, he just nodded too and remained silent

Eric then looked at them after finishing the phone  
“ I think you should leave..”

Louis and Zayn looked at him confused, Eric  
“ the doctor says he will not change.. it’s getting late.come back first thing tomorrow “

He looked nervous, exhausted, but also worried about Harry,  
Eric continued

“ I'm not leaving his side.. I will just go change my clothes.. take a shower and I will be back.. he will be fine.i'm not leaving his side..”

Zayn finally nodded, and he looked at Louis  
“ I think you need some rest, Eleanor is asking for you.. she has been calling you.”,

Louis nodded, he turned his phone silent when he arrived the hospital

Zayn stood up “ let’s go..”

Niall stood up to, Finally Louis stood up , he wanted to stay, he feels he has to stay, but Eleanor was waiting , he needed to reassure her, and especially tonight he must choose Eleanor.. and it literally killed him

Eric “ you need to leave from the back door. I rearranged everything.. and you need to come from the same door tomorrow.. don’t talk to anyone.. literally anyone..”

They all agreed without saying any word  
****, 

When Louis and Zayn drove their car back home, they saw the entrance of the hospital, or they barely could see it. 

A lot of people were gathering there, holding cameras, microphones, the media, both Zayn and Louis knew it will be a hard time for all of them, and no one was ready for this,

At midnight, Louis was finally on his bed, his back leaned on the headboard of the bed, he was checking Harry’s Twitter, his fans were going crazy, no one know the truth, some said he overdosed, some said he cut his wrists, some said he was only sick, they waited for anything to calm them down, then he saw Eric has tweeted

“ pray for Harry, let's hope he will be okay again for you, remember he always loves you, and right now he needs your support”

Somehow, these words calmed the fans , they all prayed for Harry, and the fights that was running just stopped, that calmed him too, he just put his phone beside him, and took a deep breath, he wanted to forget this day, to erase it, Harry didn’t mean to cause all this mess, he knew that, and that only hurt Harry badly. he was in the hospital alone , struggling to keep alive, and that idea twisted his stomach, Harry shouldn’t be alone, Harry didn't deserve this , he always suffered he deserved some happiness, not that hate, not to be shot alone and struggle to breath, and wait to be found in his blood pool, he wanted to be with Harry , he needed Harry now. 

Eleanor was still in the bathroom, getting ready to sleep

She went outside the bathroom, and she lied beside Louis, he embraced her and she rested her head on his chest,

“ I'm sorry.. I didn’t plan to spend the day like this?” Louis said

“ baby.. it’s okay.. we have all the days to spend..”

Louis nodded , he couldn’t talk  
“ how is he? Have you seen him?”

Louis took a deep breath, but it came out shaky, Eleanor must noticed because she looked at him, “ oh baby!!..”

Then she hugged him tightly, and Louis found himself crying,

“ shhh.. it’s okay..” she whispered softly

Louis shook his head, and then he wiped his tears away,

“ I'm sorry..”

Eleanor frowned and her eyes were glassy too “  
no baby.. no.. I understand..”

Louis “ he was shot El... someone shot him..”

Eleanor was shocked, and she couldn’t say a word at first then 

“ who could do this?”  
Louis shrugged “ they believe it was Peta..”

“ oh my God..”

Louis nodded “ it’s just.. it’s too much .. he doesn’t deserve any of this..”

Eleanor nodded, and then she hugged Louis and he rested his head on her chest, and he let the tears fall, he felt weak again, and he wanted to do anything to make Harry okay again, he wanted Harry to be okay again.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis could barely sleep that night, of course he couldn’t sleep, his mind was busy thinking, and he was haunted by the idea that maybe Peta would try to kill harry again. he was alone and Peta was known as his boyfriend, so it could maybe happen, he sent Niall a text message asking him if Eric returned back to Harry or not, but he received no answer, Niall must had slept.

Early morning, Louis had his morning tea, he was full dressed and he was waiting for Zayn

“ where are you going?” Eleanor askef still sleepy

He looked at her smiling nervously “ did I wake you up?”

She shook her head, and she walked and sat beside him on the kitchen table “ are you going to the hospital?”

He nodded, she also nodded “ we were supposed to go to the doctor today Louis.. you know for the baby”

Louis looked at her confused and nervous “ today?”

She nodded “ I need to know that everything is okay.. you know.. the regular check up.”

Louis nodded , but he didn’t talk, Eleanor “ it’s okay.. I can go alone or we can go tomorrow.”

Louis looked at her “ I have to make sure he is okay.. you know.”

Eleanor nodded “ I understand.”

Louis “ so.. let’s make it tomorrow?”

She again nodded, but she didn’t talk this time, and he knew she was annoyed, but he couldn’t think about it, he needed to see Harry now, Harry was all the matters.

Ten minutes later Zayn was there , he took Louis by his car and they headed towards the hospital, once they were there, they've noticed that the crowd in front of the hospital was getting larger, they did just as Niall and Eric told them, didn’t talk to anyone, although they met couple of paparazzi at the back door, and they even took some photos, and they called them by their names, they asked questions that Louis could hardly not answer, they asked if Harry tried to kill himself again, if he was depressed, how many times did he tried to kill himself before , all those kind of questions

no one cared to ask if Harry was okay, if he was stable and that was actually driving Louis crazy. 

Once they were inside the hospital, everything changed, okay couple of people noticed them running from paparazzi, but no one asked them anything, not the crew, not the patients, not the visitors, even though they all now know that Harry Styles was fighting for his life somewhere here.

They headed towards the last night room, Eric and Niall Were already there

When Niall saw them, he stopped immediately, he looked like last night, nervous. 

“ did you talk to someone?”

Zayn shook his head, Niall then looked at Louis “ did you?”

Louis frowned “ no.”,

Niall cursed under his breath, then he looked back at Eric

Zayn “ what is going on?”

Eric sighed and stood up “ no one checked his Twitter today?”

Zayn putting his phone out from his pocket

“ what is wrong?”

Eric “ someone told them you were here lastnight.. and he gave them some information about you and about Harry”

Zayn looking at his phone “ shit.”

Louis didn’t understand why it was that important, okay people already know about him

“ Louis.. I think you should see that..” Zayn said looking extremely frustrated

Louis walked to Zayn and first thing he saw , a photo of him hand in hand with Eleanor

A head line above it says

“ Louis Tomlinson is the reason for Harry gunshots .”  
Louis gasped at first, he looked at Zayn, Zayn looked angrily, he just shook his head ,

Niall said “ they talk about Peta and how we suspect him for shooting Harry, they say Harry wanted to get back to you .. and he told Peta that so they fought and he shot him. no one knows about this Louis.. just the four of us.”

Louis “ I didn’t do that. he didn’t want to get back to me.”

Niall “ we know that Louis.. but someone is leaking false news. we can neglect it.. but since he is still unconscious we need to do something.”

Louis looked back at Zayn's phone he finished reading the article 

“ shit.. they know she is pregnant?”

Then he looked at the others “ how? I just know last night.”

Niall and Eric didn’t answer, he was more shocked  
“ I didn’t talk to anyone..” he almost yelled

Then the door was opened, and the doctor entered, he closed the door behind him, “ it's crazy outside.”

Eric shrugged “ I will handle this.”

Doctor Mark said “ can you? because it’s a big hospital.. and they are annoying the patients. they are camping outside ”

Eric was a calm man , he just nodded “ it’s nothing new I will handle this.. I just need him to wake up.”

It really caused a heartache, nothing new, Eric had to deal with the same situation before, Harry was in hospital before, but how come he never knew, he needed to talk to Eric for sometime

Mark “ he is waking up.”

They all looked at Mark, he slowly nodded,  
"he is in his room , he is waking up anytime now"

Louis hastily “ can I see him?”

Mark nodded “ of course you can..”  
******

Then all of them walked towards Harry’s room, but in front of it, the doctor looked at them 

“ he will be a little confused, and so much exhausted. we don’t need him to talk so keep it calm.. and it would be better if you make it quick. maybe two of you at a time..”

They all nodded, the doctor smiled “ he will be okay. if anything happened.. you know where to find me” 

He was talking to Eric who only nodded, when the doctor walked away, Eric looked at Louis and  
Zayn 

“ can we go first?” 

that was weird, when Louis looked at Niall he was looking down avoiding their eyes,

Zayn didn’t talk, he was nervous , his full body was shaking, he hates hospitals and his anxiety always beat him in this cases, Louis had to accept for Zayn's sake, maybe if he let them get in first Zayn moght calm a little bit

He slowly nodded, and then they both entered, the whole situation was creepy, Louis felt frustrated, he hated to be in the dark intentionally.

He watched them until they closed the room behind them, then he looked at Zayn, he was looking down now, trying to focus on his breathing

“ you don’t have to see him.” Louis told Zayn

Zayn just shook his head, Louis nodded and waited for the door to he opened again,

Five minutes later, the door was opened again, Niall and Eric walked outside, both with glassy eyes, Louis looked at Niall for any reassurance, but nothing, Niall kept looking down avoiding any eye contact

Eric said  
“ he is not full awake.. but he is aware of the surrounding.”

Louis nodded and they walked towards Harry’s room,  
Louis opened the door, Harry was lying in thirty degree, eyes closed, nasal cannula under his nose, but he was breathing, and that what mattered to Louis

Louis held Harry’s right hand, and he looked at his pale face , then slowly Harry opened his eyes

Louis tried to smile

“ welcome back..” he whispered

Harry smiled too

Louis looked behind him, Zayn was still there beside the door,

“ Zayn is also here..” Louis was telling Harry, Harry looked at where Zayn was, he tried to raise his hand but he was weak, when Zayn saw that, he rushed to him, and he held his other hand

“ you scared the shit out of me..” Zayn said smiling,  
Harry was looking at him, then he slowly looked at Louis

“ sorry..” he whispered

Then he closed his eyes again, Louis bit his lower lip, Harry wasn’t okay, this time it was different, Harry was in a lot of pain , he was barely opening his eyes, all he wanted now was just hug him really close

“ Harry.. do you know who did it?” Zayn asked, while Louis looked at zayn shockingly

Harry opened his eyes slowly, he looked at Zayn , Zayn asked again  
“ do you know who shot you?”

Louis couldn’t take it anymore, he “ Zayn.. not now”

Zayn said sternly still looking at Harry “ now Louis...Harry do you know?”

Harry “ it’s .. okay.”

Zayn “ it’s not..”

Louis ordered now sternly “ Zayn stop. “

Harry pressed on Louis's finger, Louis looked back at him,

Harry tried again “ it’s.. okay..”

Louis nodded, he kissed Harry’s hand, Harry said again “ sorry..”

Louis shook his head, trying to hold his tears back  
“ no baby.. no.. everything will be okay.”

Zayn sighed and just left the whole room, Louis looked at Harry , he smiled

“ he is worried... you know how Zayn is when he is anxious..”,

Harry was watching Louis , he nodded, and he wanted to talk,

Louis “ Harry.. don’t talk baby.. it’s okay.”

Harry shook his head, he wanted to say something again, Louis was nervous , okay

“ what is it?”

Harry stuttered “ I .. miss you..”

Louis smiled widely “ God Harry.. I know baby I miss you too"

Harry tried again “ don't come .. again.”

Louis frowned now, he lost his smile  
“ what? Why?”

“ not.. safe..”

Louis was getting worried “ what!! What are you saying..”,

Harry whispered again “ not safe..”

Then the door was opened now, and doctor Mark entered, waving for Louis to leave, when Louis looked back at Harry, his eyes were closed again and he knew Harry was sleeping now,

When Louis returned to the room they used to wait in, he found only Eric there

When Eric saw him “ how is he?”

Louis only shrugged, then he sat beside him,  
Eric nodded

“ Naill and your friend Zayn went for coffee.  
do you want some?”

Louis was lost in his thoughts, Harry was trying to warn him, and Eric asked to enter first, there must be something,

“ did it happen before?” Louis asked out of nowhere,  
Eric looked at him puzzled, Louis  
“ Peta hit him before?”

Eric took a deep breath “ all I am sure about was one tiem. he never said anything about it.. but I got my doubts. he always said he was clumsy and he falls all the time.”

Louis “ but it happened before?”

Eric slowly nodded “ I think it did... six months ago.. Harry wanted to break up with him. he lost his mind.. he beat the shit out of him. Harry didn’t take it with reason.”

Louis looked at him confused, Eric “ he wanted to.. he overdosed.”

Louis sighed , Eric “ Peta wanted to apologize. so he went back to their home... there where he found him.”

“ oh God..”

Eric looked at Louis “ listen . I know how close you were before.. and I know you will never try to hurt him.. but I don’t know I think it’s better for both of you to leave"

Louis looked at him shocked, Eric “I'm not trying to push you away.. but he wants this.. he doesn’t want you to get involve in this shit.. I mean people already know your name and now your face.. your girlfriend.. they will talk and they will push you to the limits. it’s not easy I can tell.”

Louis “ I'm not leaving him.”

Eric “ trust me he understands. “

Louis was getting angry “ I don’t care what he understands... I'm not leaving he was just shot.“

Eric “ we don’t want you to get involve in.”

Louis stopped him “I'm already involved“

Eric “ the sooner you leave the better.”

Louis sighed “ oh god.. he still needs me out of his life?”

Eric “ he is.. I'm not supposed to talk but I can guarantee it’s not like that..”

Louis left his seat “ it’s what then?”

Eric “ he doesn’t want you to be in this... media isn’t easy to handle"

Louis “ okay.. I understand everything you say. but I'm not leaving again. I mean last time I did what he wants.. look what happened”

Eric sighed “ he has changed..!”

Louis sighed “ can we not talk about it now. right now we need to know where is Peta. he is awake now.. the police is going to talk to him.. he needs me.”

Eric “ Louis.. you must understand-”

Louis almost yelled “ you must understand.. he is my friend.. my partner... I can’t just know he is in the middle of this and I just watch I can’t, I need to be here..”

Eric finally nodded “ if you are gonna stay... then you should know how hard it can gets. they will look deep in your past.. Harry tried his best to protect you. to protect your new life. they will invade all your life they will not respect your privacy.”

Louos nodded “ I know.”

Eric “ it’s not your decision alone.”

Louis “ I won’t listen to what Harry says.”

Eric “ I don’t mean Harry.”

Louis closed his mouth, he knew what he meant, he meant Eleanor

Eric “ you have to ask her what she thinks. you need to tell her all the precautions she must stop talking to the media..” 

Stop?

“ what?”,  
Eric took a deep breath “ you just said no one knows about her pregnancy but you.”

Louis “ no.. she will never do that.“

Eric nodded “ okay.. just think about it.. who knows what we were thinking last night.”

Louis yelled “ she didn’t do that.” ,l

Eric calmly “ not on purpose maybe. But she might be the one who did it.”

Louis exhaled shockingly, that was right, no one knew except for the four men plus Eleanor, maybe Gigi too, but he knew how Gigi thinks , she would never think to tell anyone not even her close family, he knew Eleanor, he knew how she thinks and how she was excited,  
She was the one who did it. 


	12. Chapter 12

When Louis returned home, he didn’t find Eleanor there, he was angry, he was nervous, he needed to ask her if she was the one who talked about Harry to the media or not, he hoped not. 

He tried to call her on the phone but she didn’t answer, he called Gigi, also she didn’t answer. 

He wanted to sleep , it was still early, so maybe he should take a nap. 

When Louis opened his eyes, it was dark, Eleanor also wasn’t there, he looked at the clock, almost midnight, he took his phone, and there was a missed call from Niall. 

Why did Niall call him

He left his bed and went outside to look for his girlfriend, and she was there at the kitchen , he heard her talking to someone

“ I don’t know if he knew or not.. but I don’t think he will like it.. “

Obviously she was on the phone

“ I know he almost died.. but he is alive. and as I told you.. he used to hurt himself, he is like a suicidal person.. he tried to kill himself more than once before.”

They were talking about Harry, he leaned on the door frame, but she couldn’t see him

“ no.. don’t.. if Louis knows what I told you. he will be upset.. you don’t know how close they were actually I think he still cares about him.”

Louis was getting angry, who was she talking to, and what she told him.

“ okay.. sweetheart I will talk to you later..” she hanged up, and then she left her seat, she was leaving the kitchen when she saw him, she startled  
“ oh God baby.. you scared me..” she almost yelled

Louis was looking at her “ who was that?”

She became nervous “ she is my sister..”

Louis “ really?”

She nodded, still acting nervously

Louis nodded “ and you were telling her about Harry?”

She finally sighed “ I was-”

Louis was getting angry “ why? Do you know what you just did?”

Eleanor shrugged panickly “what!!”

Louis “ did you see what they wrote about him..”

Eleanor “ well that’s why she called me. she read what happened , and she wanted to know what is going on, really going on.. Louis.. there is a photo of me hand in hands with you.. people started to know me.. people actually hates me"

Louis “ what are you talking about.. no one hates you.”  
“ you don’t know that..”

Louis got ferious , he rubbed his hand over his face  
“ how did the media know about your pregnancy”

She looked down , he yelled  
“ answer me"

She startled “ okay.. okay..” she started to cry now,  
“ someone called me. “

Louis sighed and squeezed his eyes with his fingers “ oh Eleanor..”

“ listen to me.. I didn’t say anything I swear.. they just asked me questions about you.”

Louis “ about me ? You mean about us.”

She nodded “ yes.. us, but he teased me, he asked me what did I think when I heard Harry saying that you are the one for him.. and he said that Harry tried to kill himself again.. when I tried to fix this.. I mean he didn’t try to kill himself, he told me that you wants to get back to him..”

“ I don’t..”

She said crying “ I know.. that’s when I told him you love me.. when I told him about our baby and then he said that Harry wanted to kill himself because of this.”

Louis “ that’s when you told him about Peta.”

She wiped her tears away “ I'm so sorry.. I was trying to make things right.. but I know I screw up big time. I didn’t know it will be that fast.. I mean he called me this morning. it took him less than an hour and he published what I said. I tried to call him to beg him not too.”

Louis looked at her, she was crying, and he didn’t want her to cry, it wasn't her fault any way, it was first time to deal with this, and he knew how they get sneaky some times , the media. he walked towards her and hugged her

“ don’t cry.. stop.”

She was still crying in his lap “ I'm so sorry I know it will be bad.. did he know?”

He pulled away from her, then he wiped her tears away  
“ no... he still doesn’t know.”

“ is he still unconscious?”

Louis sighed “ El... we need to talk.”

She looked at him worriedly, he smiled “ don’t worry.. It just a little talk.”

She nodded, he took her hand and they together sat on the table

“ first of all.. I need you to know I'm not angry..”

She nodded, still looking at him, still worried

“ but ...Harry isn’t okay. he won’t be okay in the coming days.”

She nodded again 

“ I know I never talked to you about him before, but.. Harry is really important to me.. he is my best friend, he was my partner for long time.”

She nodded again,  
“ and right now he needs me... he needs me to get better.”

She sighed “ I know..”

Louis smiled “ that’s good. he asked me not to stay with him.. his manager asked me not to stay with him.”

“ why?”

“ they think I can’t handle the situation right. we can’t handle it right.. they think with the media and all the shit that comes with it.. we will finally collapse.”

Eleanor looked down, he didn’t talk

“ I told them I don’t care about the media.. even if they will invade my privacy.. even if they question everything around me"

She was still looking down, she didn’t answer, and that concerns him  
“ are you okay?”

She finally looked at him “ I can’t.”

Louis confused “ can’t what?”

Eleanor cried again “ can’t do this.. it's only one news in the media and people started hating me.”

“ no one hates you.”

“ when they yell at my face we hate you Ellwhore then what does it mean?”

Louis was confused, and also shockrd, did this just happened?

she sighed and again wiped her tears away  
“ Louis... Harry is a famous man, he has a big fan base.. and people gets cruel these days. they don't care about the truth. they just love to hate, to judge.. and with a baby on the road.. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“ what do you mean El?”

“ I mean I don’t want this.. we were okay. you were okay.. now people are saying you are gay and you want him back.”

Louis looked at her in disbelief, she said “ I'm sorry. I know how much you think he needs you-"

“ think?”

“ yes ... think, he didn’t need you for the those year Louis. he was doing okay... he made an album. he sang in concerts in front of millions, he won tens of awards.. actually he was doing way batter. he didn’t need you then and he doesn't need you now ”

Louis was speechless for that, cause what he feels , what he knows, he can’t explain

“ he doesn’t need you.. but we.. me and your coming baby.. we need you the most”,

He looked at her eyes open wide, what was she doing  
“ I'm not trying to make you choose but I need you to think about it. I love you.. I need you I don’t deserve this. he let you down two years ago. he doesn’t need you.. and I'm sure you don’t need him too"

Then she left Louis alone in the kitchen after kissing him on his cheek

Louis was shocked, confused, he really didn't know what to do, she wad right, the media would hurt, people will judge, she didn't deserve any of this, all she did was falling with love with him, and now she was carrying his baby, the baby he waited for long long time ago. 

But what about Harry, Harry wad hurt, someone actually hurt Harry, someone wanted him dead, not just that, he was in a painful relation, Harry also didn't deserve that, he left Louis from the start only because he wanted him to live his life normally and happily, to make a family and have kids. 

he knew Harry needef him, he never believed the fake smile or the fake happiness he pretended the previous years. 

Everything was crashing around him, he knew he woukd have to choose, sooner or later he would have to make the choice. 

*******  
Next morning wasn’t better, he avoided Eleanor, he left the house for his work, he talked to Zayn  
,and he told him to go to Harry alone, he would have to do some work first. 

He had to go to Starbucks first for something to drink, he had to wait in the line, and he remembered that Naill called him last night, so he tried to call him

“ good morning Louis.”

“ yes Niall good morning.”

“ I called you last night.”

“ yes.. that’s why I’m calling.. everything is okay?”

Niall sighed “ it depends..”

“ what do you mean?” Louis.confused

“ listen to me I know Harry asked you to stay away, so as Eric... but as a friend for both of you don’t.”

Louis didn’t talk

“ he is in danger. you don’t know how bad it is.”

“ what are you talking about..”

“ last year wasn’t easy for him.. it wasn’t just full of songs and magic as he always described it.”

Louis impatiently “ explain Naill..”

“ can we meet?”

“ fine .. I'm going to my office.“

“okay.. I will come to you.”

When Louis hanged up, he was at the top of the line where he had to order, it was a girl on the cashier, she was staring at him

He looked at her and tried to smile , she said smiling widely “ good morning sir..”

“ good morning.. I would love to have one American coffee please..”

She nodded smiling “ anything else sir?”

He shook his head putting out his wallet , she said “ no that’s on the house.”

He looked at her confused, she insisted “ no problem... just send Harry our best wishes.”

Louis surprised “ I'm sorry?”

She looked at him with pity “ are you gonna see him today..”

Louis was still surprised, she said “ we all wish him to get better soon.. we hope he will be okay.”

Louis nodded, it was all he could do, people recognize him now, they talk to him normally, they are bold, and he has to get used to this now. 

While he was taking his prepared coffee, he heard two people were talking, and Harry's name was mentioned, and one of them just said that it was all a fake up scenario, so Harry can get more fans. 

Louis was almost losing his mind but a lady interfered, and told them she was a doctor, and  
Harry really was in hospital, and he was really still suffering. 

And that was shit, a complete disrespect for people privacy, and he remembered now how many times he heard a lot of false news about Harry, how they described him, how they called him, the hate , the love , the support, he always asked himself how was Harry dealing with all this, how much he changed so he can remain calm all the time. 

When Louis arrived to his Office Niall was already there, he was waiting nervously for him

Louis greeted him and together they entered his office, they sat in front each other, then Louis looked at Niall  
“ people started to recognise me now..”

Niall only nodded “ what does it makes you feel?”

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know.. but I can’t lose my mind yet.. I mean I heard people talking badly about him and I was this close from beating the shit out of them.”

Niall smiled “ that’s the Louis I know.”

Louis “ this is weird. I mean he is a well known since like two years now. why do I care about what people think suddenly”

Niall sighed “ because.. you believe you are coming back to his life. cause he matters again.”

Louis looked at him “ he always matters Niall.”

Niall smiled “ I know.. but now it’s different. you need to know that.. he's changed. he is not your  
Harry, he has his own life.. his own shit.. his own mess.. you know what I mean.”

Louis nodded, Niall “ no you don’t. cause you never have seen any of this. you don’t know what you are about to deal with.”

Louis sighed “ God.. stop saying this. stop scaring me.. you all keep saying that ever since the attack.”  
Niall “ because this is the truth.. it’s big.. it’s bigger than all of us. he can hardly deal with it. you think he ignores it.. but you know how Harry's mind works”

Louis looked at him “ to be honest .. I don’t.. the Harry I know will never get himself in this, will never get stuck in a toxic relation Where his partner beats the shit out of him, he won’t sing and make all his life exposed to strangers.. so no.. I don’t know how it works.”

Niall nodded understanding “ will you leave him?”

Louis “ I don’t want to.. he asked me to stay away... so as Eric.., and El doesn't make it any better."

Naill “ I know. that’s what Eric told him when he saw him first.”

Louis cursed “ that’s bastard..”

Louis smiled “ trust me. that man knows what he is doing.. He saved Harry dozens of times.”

Louis looked at him confused “ so you want me to stay away too?"

Niall shook his head “ of course not.. you need to stay . he needs you more than you can imagine now but you need to fix things with Eleanor first. she has to be ready, she must know how to deal with it."

Okay he would now skip the part where Eleanor already refusef to dealwith it

Louis “ Naill, I don’t understand you. what are you trying to tell me.”

Niall sighed “ listen Louis. I'm talking to you as his friend now not his lawyer and I'm telling you he needs you. this time he seriously won't survive because this.. what happened will leave scares. not only in his body but in his history.. Peta knows all about him. he already sat his papers. he will not be accused. not when Harry is awake .”

“ what are you saying?”

“ Harry will never say Peta was the one who shot him.”

Louos shocked “ why?”

Niall shrugged “ you need to ask him that.”

“ I'm asking you..”

“ you need to ask him that..”

Louis sighed “ I don’t know what to do..”

Niall nodded “ I understand you. but you need to think and make up your mind.” 

Louis nodded “ I need to see him now.”

Niall nodded “ I'm on my way to see him.”

Louis nodded “ let's go..”


	13. Chapter 13

When Louis and Niall reached the hospital, the thing wasn’t any better, the paparazzi were getting large in numbers, they nearly blocked all the entrances,  
When Niall parked the car, he looked at Louis and smiled,

“ don’t panic.. just don’t talk to anyone..”

Louis only nodded, and he followed Niall outside the car, they walked beside each other and they entered the hospital, it was a struggle to avoid all the questions, all the comments they heard, they called them by their own names, they asked if Harry was conscious now, if Harry was actually still alive, if Harry really said that the one who shot h was peta

Then they together heard the major question that was asked , and for a second Louis froze in his place, it was Niall who pushed him softly to move on

“ since you are here Louis, is that mean you are still in love with Harry? Did you break up with your girlfriend?”

Once they were inside the hospital away from the crowd, away from the cruelty of that world

Niall looked at Louis “ are you okay?”

Louis only nodded, he didn’t want to talk, he had nothing to say really.

They walked among the halls of the hospital on their way to Harry's room, then they saw Zayn nearly storming outside Harry’s room

“ Zayn?”

Louis called walking faster to reach him, Zayn was angry, he was actually furious. 

“ what’s wrong?” Louis asked Zayn

Zayn looked at the two of them, then he looked at Niall “ did you know this?”

Louis was confused, Niall looked at the door room that was slightly opened,

Zayn “ did you know.. are you okay with this.. do you what does this mean?”

Niall sighed “ it’s his choice..”

Zayn raised his voice “ he can’t do that. it’s like he wants to torture himself, I know he has a death wish but this.. how is he even okay with this?”

Louis now was getting anxious, what were they talking about,

“ what are you talking about?”

“ you didn’t tell him?” zayn asked Niall, then he shook his head in disbelief “ of course you didn’t..”

“ Zayn..” Louis said impatiently

Zayn looked at Louis “ he didn’t tell the police about Peta..”

Louis already knew that, Zayn “ he told them he didn’t know who did it, and the cameras shows nothing.”

Louis bit his lower lip “ why?”

Zayn looked at Naill and then at Louis “ you should ask him that..”

Louis now was angry “ oh God.. not you too.”

Louis looked at Zayn and then at Niall, then he rushed to Harry’s room, okay he woe ask him himself, and he woe ask him now

Once he opened the door, he opened it violently, Harry startled and he looked at the door with wide opened eyes, once he saw Louis he calmed a little, he rested his head back at the pillow, he wasn’t alone, Eric was there, Louis looked at Harry, and all the anger melted down, Harry was awake, he was so pale, so exhausted, and Louis immediately knew that Harry was in great deal of pain, Harry tried to smile to him, and then he clutched his chest, he just moved suddenly and he moved fast and that must hurt

Louis felt ashamed, he looked at Harry “ sorry..”

Harry closed his eyes, he was controlling his pain now, Louis walked towards Harry, and he saw he was breathing fast, still had the nasal cannula, still connected to the chest tube, but he was breathing, he was awake

Eric was looking at Louis “ you are here again?”

Louis ignored Eric , he was still looking at Harry who was opening his eyes 

Eric “ Mr Tomlinson.. you can’t keep coming .. it-"

Louis “ Harry.. how do you feel now?”

Eric shut his mouth up, Harry was looking back at Louis, he missed him, he missed him so much, Louis “ feeling better?”

Harry just smiled slowly nodding his head  
“ you should leave..” Eric again

Louis finally looked at him angrily “ can I have a talk with h please,alone.? ” 

Eric looked at Harry, then he said “ I don’t think it’s a good idea..”

Louis tried again “ I need to talk to my.. I need to talk to him “ , then he looked at Harry “ I need to talk to you.”,

Harry was watching Louis, then he slowly nodded to Eric,

“ but Harry..”,

“ it's okay..” Harry almost whispered, his voice was weak, his voice was pained, and that cause a heartache to Louis

Finally Eric left the room, and he wasn’t happy,  
When Louis looked back at Harry, Harry was watching him, then he smiled,

Louis sat beside him on the bed “ how do you feel Harry?”

Harry shrugged “ been better..”

Louis nodded “ I was worried about you..”

Harry smiled “ you are always worried Lou..”

Louis wondering “ is that so?”

Harry still smiling, he nodded

Louis smiled too, then he sighed “ it has been a while Harry... you are famous now..”

Harry was still staring, but didn’t talk

“ you have a lot of fans. they all love you.. all wish you the best..”

Harry again nodded

Louis looked at Harry, at his eyes, he missed his eyes, even if they were now so exhausted, so lifeless, he missed them

“ I can’t believe this is happening.. it’s just so.. overwhelming..”

Harry frowned looking at Louis confused, Louis  
“ I mean.. I haven’t seen you since like two years and now you are here.. at a hospital bed “ then he whispered “ you almost died Harry.. again.”

Harry nodded “ I'm sorry..”

“ stop saying sorry..”

Harry nodded “ okay..”

Louis was still looking at him, he wanted to hug him close to his chest, to breathe him, that was his Harry, not the one who became famous now, not the one that dances on stages and sings with his heart, it was only Harry, his best friend, his ex husband, his childhood friend

“ I like your hair this way.” Louis said trying to distract his mind from all those memories that were racing inside,

Harry smiled “ no.. you don’t..”

Louis frowned, he didn’t, Harry looked at his lap “ I just know..”,

Louis smiled “ you are wrong I like your new look, I love your songs.. I keep hearing them all the day for the past year..”

Harry looked at him surprised “ you do?”

Louis nodded “ of course.. I attended all your concerts that you held here, I saw the others on the internet” he smiled “ I love your energy.. and you have a lot of dance moves”, he winked " where did you learn all of this?"

Harry nodded smiling, still avoiding looking at Louis  
Louis noticed , but he said  
“ I'm so proud of you Harry..”. 

Harry nodded, he said almost whispering “ I did it.. for you.”

Louis was confused, “ I needed to let you know I was okay.. I was doing okay.. I can make it.”

Louis nodded “ hmm ..you wanted to prove you can make it without me..”

Harry looked at him shocked “ no..”

Louis smiled “ I'm kidding.. I'm proud Harry really.”

Harry nodded still looking at Louis's eyes, he wanted to say something, he wanted to tell Louis how much he missed him, how much he was thinking of him all those days, he wanted to tell him he looked for his face when he was doing those concerts in London, hoping maybe .. just maybe he could win a glimpse, But he can’t.

He knew Louis had his own new life now, he knew Louis was living happily and if he came back to his life, Louis again wouldn't be happy, and it would kill Harry,  
Harry closed his mouth and looked back at his lap  
“ you shouldn’t be here..”

Louis bit his lower lip, he wanted to stop himself from yelling at Harry, he wouldn't leave him, no matter what,  
Louis instead sighed  
“ I won't leave Harry..”

Harry nodded “ yes.. you will..”

“ why?”

Harry didn’t answer, he shook his head instead, but Louis saw Harry’s chin was quivering, and then he saw tears on his cheeks  
“ why?” he said again

Harry didn’t answer, Louis lifted his chin up so their eyes can meet, Harry was crying, and Louis couldn’t take it anymore, he felt weak, he felt small, how he could let this happen, how he left Harry slip away from his life that easily

“ why Harry..”

Harry swallowed the gulp on his throat “ because I can’t..” he whispered 

Louis almost crying “ can’t what..”,

Harry cried “ if I let you in again... I won’t be able to let you out.. I won’t survive.. I can’t make it this time”

Louis wasn’t ready for this, he didn’t prepared himself for Harry’s words, for Harry’s tears, it hit him, and it hit him hard

“ you have your own life now and I have my life .”

Louis had to stop him “ what life? Stop lying to  
yourself.. you were almost killed..”

Harry closed his eyes “ it was a stalker. it won’t happen again..”

Louis looked at him shocked “ no.. it was Peta"

Harry pressed his mouth shut, he shook his head ,  
Louis insisted “ yes.. why are you protecting him.”

Harry looked down at his lap again “ I'm not..”

Louis “ just tell me why..”,

Harry didn’t talk

“ he was abusing you.. he hit you more than once.. why? How could you let him do this to you..”,

Harry shook his head again,

Louis looked at him, then he gasped “ Harry.. are you afraid of him.. cause I can protect you.. I won’t let him near you again..”

Harry shook his head again, still crying “ no.no. stop please..”

Louis “ you please.. Harry don’t do this.. you are scaring me..”,

Harry said wiping his tears away “ don’t worry. I will be fine..”

Louis lost his mind now “ how? How is this fine God.. I shouldn't let this happen from the start..”

Harry looked at him “ it’s not your fault..”

Louis closed his eyes to control his frustration “ Harry please... help me help you..”

Harry sighed “ God Louis.I don’t need your help.”,  
.  
Louis looked at him and he couldn’t believe, typically stubborn Harry

“ Harry.. why are you doing this to yourself.. he shot you.. he fucking shot you twice. he wanted to kill you  
and you still defending him.. what the hell..”

Harry didn’t answer this,

Louis “ tell me why..”

Harry shook his head, then he said with the most defeated voice Louis could ever heard from Harry  
“ I think you should leave Louis..”

Louis looked at him shocked, it kills him that harry hides things from him, he can't leave, he won't leave , not now, not when he knows Harry is again in danger  
“ I'm not leaving..”

“ you have to..”,

Louis almost yelled “ I'm not leaving unless you admit what exactly happened.. or tell me why are you protecting him..”

Harry yelled back “ he didn’t do it.”

And that was stupid, because now he felt a sharp pain in his chest, he closed his eyes, and he was sure it got watery from the pain, and now he can’t breath, he started to gasp for air, he then opened his eyes, and he didn’t find Louis, then he saw doctors in front of him, he felt himself being lied down now, the nasal cannula was removed, an oxygen mask on his mouth... then everything turned black.

Next time when Harry opened his eyes, there was Zayn sitting beside him, he took a moment to realize what happened, and slowly it was getting back to him.

“ you have to stop doing that.. trust me I almost shit myself there.”

Harry smiled tiredly “ what happened..”

Zayn sighed “ I don’t know what happened. but the doctors say you will be okay.. you just need to shut your mouth up..”

Harry tried to take a deep breath but it hurt

“ easy there..”

Harry looked at Zayn, and he remembered Louis was with him, and then looked around him “ did he leave?”

Zayn nodded “ he did for now. he is coming back ... he was shaking like a leaf and I was worried about him.. I asked him to leave and he also had an appointment with his girlfriend doctor..”

Harry was confused “ what? Is she sick..”

Zayn sighed “ please tell me you know..”

Harry was still looking at Zayn  
“ shit.. you don’t know.. he is gonna kill me for this.”

Harry out of his breath “ what is going on Zayn? "  
Zayn “ he is having a baby..”

Harry looked at Zayn shockingly, then he slowly nodded, and looked away from Zayn, he closed his eyes, that was the end point, that was the full stop,  
Harry must disappear again, he must leave Louis for sure this time, yes Louis was happy, he was having a baby on the road, Harry must not be anywhere close to Louis,

Zayn sighed “ Eric told me about the video..”

Harry looked at Zayn shocked, Zayn put his hand on Harry’s hand

“ that’s why you can’t tell the police.. he is threatening you to put it on the web..”,

Harry again closed his eyes, he was trying to control his breathing. 

Zayn “ people love you Harry.. they don’t care about what they see.. they won't care if you were having sex with him or not..”

And here Harry stopped Breathing, his heart stopped beating, he couldn’t open his eyes, he couldn’t look at Zayn, Zayn didn't understand

“ they will forgive you..”

Harry slowly nodded, he couldn’t tell Zayn the truth, he never would , the video wasn’t about Harry, no.. the video actually was about Louis, Louis who was having sex not Harry, Louis was drunk, he was having sex with some whore, and that was before the divorce, That’s why.

That’s why Harry accepted to be abused by Peta, that’s why Harry accepted all the pain, all the hate

He threatened him, of he left him, if he abandoned him, if he even tried, he will let all the people know, he will put the video on the web, he will let everyone see Louis, he will expose Louis, he will expose why Harry Styles left Louis, how bad he was , a manwhore

And Harry had to protect Louis, he had to protect him from the media, from the hate, Peta was smart, he had a good plan, and he used Harry, he knew how to use Harry, how to push him, he knew that Louis was the weakest point for Harry, and Harry would do whatever it takes to protect Louis, no matter what, this was the least Harry can do

Zayn finally said “ promise me.. you will think about it.. we can find something.. we can make something..”

Harry looked at Zayn, and he nodded, but he knew there was nothing to do, he couldn't do anything

Zayn couldn't do anything, Louis was having a baby, and this video would crash his world around him, and Harry wouldn't let this happen

Never. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it


	14. Chapter 14

Louis was still shaking, he still couldn’t set his heart into peace again, he almost killed him, he hurt him, but he was worried, he wanted to help Harry, he was only trying to protect him, but again he almost killed him. 

Harry opened his wounds again, he caused damage to his lung again, that’s why he couldn’t breathe, that’s why he blacked out. 

When he was stable again, Louis wasn’t, he was shaking violently, he wasn’t focusing with the surroundings, he was this close from a panic attack.   
it only happened to him once, it happened years ago,  
Harry was twenty one, he was having a bad month, he was completely depressed, his medications were having bad effect on him, it knocked him down for days, just sleeping on his bed, didn't move , couldn't open his eyes, couldn't talk, Louis was sitting with him all the time at the same room, same bed, he didn’t leave the room for the entire month, but only to his classes 

At this time, Louis was having an exam, he was sick, he was nervous, he was worried he didn’t study well, he was worried about Harry, and after all he felt he was alone. 

At the night of the exam, Louis felt that horrible feelings that he couldn’t run from, he couldn’t sleep, and he spent the whole night watching Harry breathing beside him. 

At the morning, he begged Harry to be okay, he told him he won’t be late, only two hours, he would call Zayn but Zayn also had his exams, and if he skipped the test again he wouldn't be able to have his degree, it was a fucked up situation, and he really didn’t know how to handle it better than this. 

Two hours later he ran home, he was already not feeling okay, not just being sick or exhausted, he had the feeling that something bad just happened,  
Zayn didn’t leave him like that, Louis didn’t ask him to come with him, but he needed some company, he was already sick, he wanted to sleep and he wanted someone to stay with Harry.

When Louis opened his flat door, which was really small, as a studio flat , had only a bed, a small opened kitchen, a small bathroom, and tv. 

Once he opened the door, his heart fell down , there was no Harry on the bed. 

He tried to call him, but he was breathless, he also didn’t want to scare Zayn, Zayn had no idea about Harry. 

Louis headed towards the bathroom, and he wasn’t ready for the scene, or was he?. 

Harry on the floor unconscious, sweaty, there was hardly a pulse, almost breathing, and then Louis  
had a panic attack. 

It was too much, he just couldn’t take it anymore, thanks God for Zayn, he did the right job at that time.  
but together they promised, Zayn would pretend he knew nothing,he will pretend he wasn’t there. 

But ever since that day, and Zayn always keeps an eye on Harry, he always was watching him behind his back, he was always there for that couple. 

*****

Louis wasn’t himself when he went with Eleanor to the doctor, he was barely concentrating, he was barely listening, and that really upset Eleanor to the edge. 

In the other hand, the baby was okay, everything was okay, was healthy, she was only two month pregnant, still a lot to go, she asked the doctor nearly everything that came cross her mind , while Louis only remained silent.

On the way home of course she was angry, they fought, but Louis wasn’t for that, he just let her talk, then she cried, he hugged her, he promised her he will be better and he will figure out something and they both slept, and Louis slept really, long deep sleep.

Next morning, when he wake up, he was alone on his bed, Eleanor wasn’t sleeping beside him, but he heard some noises coming from outside, the TV was on, so Eleanor is home. 

When he left his bed, and left the room, first thing he heard

“ last and exclusive news about the tragic accident of Harry styles coming up.. wait for us..”

Louis almost ran to the TV room, and there he found Eleanor was watching , she didn’t notice him, and he didn’t want to be noticed, he stayed at the back of the room. 

Then the commercial ended , and then the interviewer showed up

“ we all have heard the tragic accident of the new and successful coming singer Harry Styles, and for two days we were trying to find out what was happening , but we knew nothing..”

Then the camera showed the front of the hospital, and it showed when Zayn and Naill were getting inside. 

“ all we know he was shot twice at the chest .. but he is okay.. and he is alive.. and right now .. we have the whole story.. and the one who is telling us is one and only Peta Hardly..”

Louis was frozen in his place, how dare he show up again, how bold he was

And then there was Peta smiling at the interviewer, and at the camera, and all Louis wanted to do now, is just attack him and beat him till he can’t breath. 

She the interviewer asked “ first of all.. please tell us how is Harry..”,

PETA smiled “ absolutely okay.. he is fine now, he is awake.. he is breathing by his own.. and it’s a great progress..”,

Then there was a photo of both Peta and Harry , at the hospital, at Harry’s bed, a selfie photo that showed Peta embracing Harry, and Harry was smiling tiredly, perfectly faking it, and Louis was almost going to lose his mind, what the hell happened, and when,

“ it was bad at the start.. and unfortunately I couldn’t be with him .. but here I am now..”

The interview asked then “ do you know what happened.. I'm sure you heard what was published on the webs...”

Peta nodded sadly “ of course I did... and yes he was shot and no it wasn’t me. it’s actually a silly rumour.. and it was completely stupid I would never hurt Harry... ever.. and you know how media is now “

Louis couldn’t believe how good he was, and now he was getting angry

She nodded “ yeah.. that was terrible.. so you still don’t know who did it..”

Peta sighed “ I mean the investigation is still on.. but we still have nothing to start with.. Harry didn’t see who did it, he was obviously wearing a mask and he took him off guard .. his camera shows nothing but we are really trying I trust our police and I know they are doing their job perfectly, and right now Harry’s health is all that matters to me..”, Fucking bastard..

She nodded again “ so we saw a lot of people visiting him.. including his ex husband Louis Tomlinson.”

Louis's heart skipped a beat, he started to breath fast now,

Then there was a video of Louis and Niall entering the hospital the other day

“ what does it mean?” the interviewer asked ,

Peta looked at her smiling “ come on. you know what it means, they were best friends not only Louis visited him.. also Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, this morning there was Liam Payne.. they are best friends and when you hear your best friend is shot.. you will put all your issues aside and run to see if he is okay or not and that what happened..”, Okay Louis breathe...

She nodded “ so... no old relations coming alive again..”

Peta frowned “ you mean Harry and Louis? No.. no.. Louis is living happily with his girlfriend... they are expecting a baby..”

A photo of Louis and Eleanor holding hands showed up

“ they are getting married in like two months.. so... no nothing is coming alive again between Harry and Louis.. maybe their friendship.. but it also not going to last for long.. Harry is leaving back to  
Spain, Louis is getting marry here.. and once Harry is okay again.. he will start his world tour..”

The reporter “ okay.. so the last thing to be asked.. are you two okay?”

Peta smiled “ I know what you mean. you mean what Harry said at his last show before the attack, well there were some conflicts.. that’s right but I'm sure everything is fine now, we are together and let me tell you this exclusively.. not only Louis Tomlinson who is getting married this summer.”

Louis was terribly shocked, no that’s couldn't be true, Harry wasn't marrying him, he wouldn't let him

The interviewer was shocked “ do you mean you are getting married too?”

Peta “ I just proposed to him.. and he finally said yes .I mean I wanted to do this for a long time but lately .. I realized there is no guarantees.. if I can’t be with him now.. protect him.. then when? and most importantly who..”

What the fuck was he doing, he meant Louis, Louis knew he meant him

The interviewer “ congratulations Peta.. we hope you the best.. and we are more than glad to hear  
Harry is okay we just hope they can arrest the shooter as soon as they can..”

Peta nodded “ let’s pray for this.. and thank God for Harry being okay and thank you for your lovely support..”

Then the camera zoomed on her alone “ that was it for this morning.. thank you for watching.. and have a good day"

Eleanor closed the TV, and she sighed, she looked behind her when she felt the movement

“ you heard that..” she asked

Louis only nodded, Eleanor “ he didn’t do it..”

Louis looked at her “ how did you know?”

She sighed “ he looks innocent. I think he really love Harry.. I think Harry loves him back, I mean why would he say yes if he doesn’t..”

Louis pressed his mouth shut, he didn't know why Harry was doing this to himself

He only nodded, he didn't want to talk about Harry with her, he knew where would this lead them

She sighed “ so.. will you visit him again today?”

Louis looked at her, but he didn’t answer

“ I'm afraid to go outside Louis..”

Louis frowned “ what?”

She said “ his fans say I am the reason to keep you apart..”

He shook his head in disbelief, he looked down “ I think they will think differently now..”

Then he left the room heading to the kitchen, he had to end that conversation, he needed to do something about what he just heard,

He called Zayn, and when Zayn answered , he was angry

“ yes Louis..”

Louis raised his brows wondering “ are you mad?”

Zayn sighed “ I'm.. I'm not..”

Louis “ have you seen what just happened?”

Zayn didn’t talk, Louis “ Zayn?”

Then he heard someone talking, and then Zayn said “ I swear to God... I will tell him everything Harry.. just stop it..”

Louis confused “ Zayn? What’s wrong..”

“ Louis... you have to come .. now..”, 

Then the line was ended...

And what the hell?!!.


	15. Chapter 15

When Louis arrived the hospital, everything was different, few number of paparazzi, the place was calmer than ever. that was creepy. 

Louis felt something was wrong. Then he heard them saying that Harry had left the hospital, he didn’t know what to do, if Harry left why Zayn would have called? 

When Louis reached Harry’s room, Zayn showed up on his face  
“ thanks God you are here..”

He was nervous, and so was Louis

“ what is going on.. did he left?”

Zayn “ not yet..”

Louis confused “ what do you mean? can he leave already?”

Zayn Sighed “ they say he has to leave.. he can’t stay any longer. it’s the best for him to leave and he will have a medical staff to follow and observe him.”

Louis “ is it even safe.l.”

Then he noticed him.. Peta was getting inside Harry’s room “ what is he doing here?”

Zayn looked behind and he saw Peta too, then he looked back at Louis  
“ I thought you saw the news.”

Louis “ I did.”

Zayn “ then you know they are engaged now.”

He was shocked, okay he heard what Peta said earlier, but he didn’t believe, he thought it was just a play they were acting

Zayn then said “ he doesn’t want us to talk to him anymore.”

Louis looked at him , Zayn “ he is angry about what we said before.. you know about what Eleanor has said.”

No.. he can’t

Zayn “ when I tried to enter his room he called me the security.”

Louis was feeling lost now, he was feeling angry,and no, he could not let Peta control Harry , not after what he did, not after shooting him and what if he did it again,l

Louis furiously said   
“ let's see how will he stop me then.”

He was going to move, when Zayn grasped his hand  
“ there is something you need to know.”

Zayn told Louis about the sex tape that Peta threatened Harry with, at the start Louis was shocked, he didn’t actually think, he just couldn't accept that Harry is staying with Peta because he was scared for this, he knew Harry, Harry would not care about any tape, Harry would not pay any attention for such a thing, Louis knew there was something else, and he must know .

Louis stormed to Harry’s room, he opened the door and he entered, everyone inside was looking at him, Harry, Peta and Eric

When Harry saw Louis, he hastily wiped away his tears, Louis of course noticed, he also noticed that  
Peta looked angry, while Eric looked nervous

“ what are you doing here?” Peta yelled angrily , and he stormed towards Louis,

Louis was still looking at Harry, Louis felt uncomfortable seeing Harry like this

“ I want to talk to Harry.”

Peta blocked Harry from Louis “ no. not gonna happen.. not again..”

Louis took a few steps so he could see Harry, Harry sighed , he looked down then he closed his eyes

“ I Want to talk to you Harry..” Louis said

Peta sternly “ there is nothing to be said Louis. he is not telling you anything so you can run and tell your girlfriend.. who obviously is attention whore-"

Harry said interrupting “ Peta..”,

Louis tried his best to contain his growing anger in his chest, he ignored looking at Peta, and he felt  
Peta eyes were still on him, and he was smarter than making a fight now

Again “ Harry. please.. let me talk to you.” 

Harry was still avoiding Louis eyes  
“ I think you should leave.” he sighed

Louis knew he would do that, but he would try again  
“ this will be the last time.. Harry please let me talk to you.”

Harry just shook his head, looking down again,  
Peta “ I think you heard him. now go.”, he pushed Louis towards the door

Louis was breathing fast, he was this close from losing his temper, and he couldn't lose his temper now, “ Harry please...”

Harry sniffled, and Louis knew he was crying, and no, he couldn't take it anymore , he just couldn't 

“ Harry.. this is the last time.. please..”

Peta looked at Harry now, then he looked at Louis,  
“ you do realize he is engaged now.”

Louis sighed, he felt losing the battle,” I know. congratulations.” , he finally looked at Peta “ can you please just let me talk to him.”

Peta was getting angry , but he was doing a lot not to look so, he loved how Louis begged 

“ obviously he doesn’t want to talk.”

Louis looked again at Harry “ Harry.. don’t make me beg you.”, Peta “ listen to me lad. I think you should leave now.”

“ it’s okay..” Harry finally spoke

Peta looked at him shocked, Harry looked back at him, he then nodded,  
“ I will do.it... just let me talk to him.”

And Louis's heart skipped a beat, what was that about,  
Peta finally surrendered, but before he left, he walked to Harry, and he whispered some words in Harry’s ear,  
LOUIS could swear that Harry turned pale for a second when he heard what Peta said, he just nodded, and then he looked at peta, he looked terrified,  
He nodded saying watching Peta “ okay.. okay”

Peta then looked at Louis “ let’s go Eric. we need to give that old couple a few minutes to end some unfinished business.”

And together they left the room

Louis looked at Harry, once they left, he was looking back at him, and then he looked at his lap again,  
Louis didn’t know where to start, or how

He walked and sat beside him , he took a deep breath, still observing him, never lost the contact “ are you feeling better..”

Harry only nodded, Louis “ you are leaving?”,

Harry tried to take a deep breath, but it must have hurt , Louis winced for Harry’s pain, but he had nothing to do about it, and he also know he has no time , so he should start as soon as he can, he has to know what was going on

Louis “ why are you doing this ?”

Harry looked at him confused, Louis “ you are engaged?”

Harry nodded, then he looked at Louis's finger, he looked at his ring “ so do you.”

Louis nodded, he pressed his mouth shut, then “ yes... but .. “ then he sat beside Harry on the bed “ you are engaged to Peta"

Harry nodded “ I know Louis..”

Louis shook his head, saying a little angry “ do you?what is happening here.? what was that about..what are you hiding? I know there is something and it’s not about that fucking tape.”, Harry froze for a second, and then he tried to play cold again

Louis “ Zayn told me yes..”

Harry finally looked at Louis “ what do you want Louis.. what do you want from me?.”

Louis shook his head angrily “ you don’t get to ask me that. it’s Louis... you are my best friend.. you were shot.. and you chose to be engaged to the one who shot you who is obviously holding something against you more important than a fucking tape. “

Harry was watching Louis, finally he said  
“ he didn’t shot me..”

Louis almost yelled “ God Harry... what is happening"

“ nothing..”

“ stop lying.”

“ I'm not”

Then Louis yelled now “ why?”

Harry yelled back “ because..” then he closed his mouth

Louis looked at him “ I never imagined that there would be a moment where you push me away this way. after what we have been through.. after what I did for you.”

Harry looked at Louis, eyes were glassy “ I'm always grateful Lou.. but everything has changed now.”

Louis was still watching , he said warning “ I'm not leaving you with him Harry. this is not gonna happen.”

Harry only shrugged trying to convince him, or maybe himself “ I will be fine.”

Louis shook his head “ no.“

Harry nodded “ I will be fine.. listen.. I'm..”

Then he sighed , he stopped to collect the right words  
“ I'm sorry Lou.. I didn’t mean to show up at your life this way. I never wanted things to take that turn. but I still can make things right.”

Louis looked at him shockingly “ did you listen. i'm not leaving you with him."

“ you will..”

“ no.”

Harry looked at him smiling “ yes... Louis... you are the best thing that happened to me. you have a lot of history together. but.. there is no future for us.”

Louis swallowed the gulp in his throat “ stop saying this.”

Harry “ it’s true though. you are having your life.. you are getting married.. God Louis you are having a baby. this is the life you always wanted.. this is the life you deserve..”

Louis tried to hold the tears back “ this isn't goodbye Harry if I leave you.. and something happens to you.. I will never forgive myself.. I can’t do this again.. I can’t live without you. I thought I can but I can’t. I think about you all the time.. first thing in the morning.. last thing before I sleep on my bed. you are always in my dreams and I keep looking for your news everywhere. I want you back Harry. I can’t..”

He squeezed his eyes with his fingers to stop the tears  
Harry pressed his mouth shut, he let the tears fall freely on his cheeks

“ it’s too late .” he whispered

“ never too late. if he had something against you then we can find a way out . but Harry please.. don’t do this to me. don’t let me live in terror.. don’t make me panic every time my phone rings in midnight.. please.”

Harry looked down “ he is not gonna hurt me.”

Louis insisted “ but he did... and he will... Harry let me help”

Harry shook his head “ no. no. you don’t have to help me again.. you helped me a lot before..” then he looked at Louis eyes “ now.. Louis.. you need to look after your new family. there is a baby on the board . you don’t need to raise him through this. it’s not easy as it used to be.. right now my life is very complicated."

“ Harry..”

Harry held LOuis's hand and pressed , and God Louis missed that touch

“ please Louis.. I'm begging you.. stay away from me.. I come with pain. with anger.. and your already had your own share" 

Louis looked at him , he was looking for something , he needed to feel something “ what do you hide Harry..”

Harry closed his eyes, he thought he convinced him, he let Louis's hand again

He sighed “ I hide nothing.”

Louis shook his head “ promise m..”

Harry avoided looking “ I don’t have to promise you.”

“ then I don’t believe..”

Harry looked at him again “ please Louis. don’t make it harder..”

Louis “ I'm not leaving you with him. do you understand..”

Harry almost cried “ please. you have to.”

Louis said softly, hopelessly “ just tell me why.”

Harry lost his power now, all the strength he used to pretend having was lost, he cried, no he sobbed

“ I can’t.. I just can’t Lou.. and it hurts... and I’m in pain.. and I need all this to stop..”

Louis hugged Harry tightly, trying to calm him down , but Harry wasn’t calming down “ I just need it to stop..”

Louis felt he was hugging eighteen years old Harry, his old best friend, the one who he loved although he was broken, the one he shared everything with him, his secrets, his talks, everything was with Harry

And it hurts, he hugged tightly, and Harry hugged back  
“ I miss you Lou..”, Harry cried on LOuis's neck crock 

Louis nodded, he was crying hard now, he missed him too, it was Harry, his Harry

Louis whispering “ it’s okay. I miss you too..”

Harry still crying “ you don’t understand.”

Louis pulled away from Harry looking at him  
“ tell me..”

Harry just shook his head “ I can’t. “

Louis crying “ Harry please.. let me help you.. please.. Harry I can help you love I always did.”

Harry shook his head , sniffling “ it’s different.”

“ we can find something. you know like Zayn always says..” he smiled 

Harry looked at him , then he shook his head “ it’s not about me Louis. it’s not me.”

Louis was confused, Harry “ what he has won’t hurt me. and I can’t do it.. I just can’t..”

Louis was still looking shockingly at Harry, what was he talked about, then the door was opened

“ I think it’s enough.” Peta's voice came from behind

When Peta entered the room, he didn’t like how close they were sitting, he looked at Harry, who avoided looking at him

“ we must go now.. everything is ready..”

Harry didn’t move, didn’t talk

Louis looked at him “ where are you going Harry.”

Peta threatened “ I wouldn’t answer that if I was you.”

And Louis couldn't believe that, he was threatening Harry, right in front him,

Harry only cried , and that caused pain in the heart,  
Louis was still looking waiting for an answer

“ tell me Harry.”

Harry looked at Peta, and then he looked at Louis again  
“ Louis.. I love you.”

Louis frowned, he knew what is coming bext, he won’t like

“ I think you should leave.”

Louis sighed shaking “ no.”

Harry looked at his lap again, he closed his eyes, and Louis knew he was tired, his power was all drained, he ended the conversation

Peta then talked “ don’t try to look for him Louis. you will only hurt him more.”

Louis “ what do you mean? are you threatening me Peta? "

Peta shook his head calmly “ no. never but i'm just telling you" 

Then he opened the door, and pointed with his fingers at something behind the door, Harry was looking at him terrified, and then two security guards entered the room

Peta said “ I think you should leave.”

Harry cried silently, and Louis was losing his mind, Harry was still weak, Harry was still crying his eyes out, Harry was still not okay, not physically, not mentally, and Harry still didn't deserve this.

Then the security men got closer and stood beside Louis, Louis knew he had no other choice, he must leave

Harry looked at Louis, he was still crying, he didn’t try to wipe his tears

He only said “ I'm sorry..”

Louis shook his head , he wanted one more hug, he needed to calm him down, to calm himself down, he was freaking out, and he was scared for Harry’s life,  
Harry then whispered  
“ I love you..”

And then the security men held Louis hands and showed him the way outside, last thing Louis saw before leaving was Harry crying hard, and at that moment, he knew what he would do, he promised himself, no he wouldn't leave Harry, he would find out something, he would again save Harry, even if again  
Harry didn't need to be saved.


	16. Chapter 16

Louis hadn’t seen Liam for long time, almost two years , after he broke up with Cheryl he left to spend some time in Paris, but he never came back, and he never called, just nothing, vanished like Harry did. 

So Louis didn’t expect him standing at his door, early in morning after nearly one month from Harry’s accident.

Liam smiled greeting Louis “ good morning Lou.”

Louis was shocked at the start, but then he found himself hugging Liam really tight

At the kitchen sitting Liam with Louis catching up,  
Liam hadn’t come back to London for the last two years, he started work in France, he was in a relation, and he has a son now , from Cheryl.. surprise. 

He made up with Cheryl, and the were together now living happily. 

“ I can’t believe all this has happened to you.”  
Louis said smiling

Liam nodded “ yeah.. a lot has changed congratulations for you too.”

Louis wanted to ask how did he know, but he remembered everyone now knows, Louis somehow became famous too. 

He just smiled, then Eleanor entered the kitchen, she looked surprised to see Louis was sitting with someone. 

Actually Louis and Eleanor relation had witnessed some troubles, Louis recently was always nervous, always angry, always worried, and then gradually he calmed a little, he didn’t stop thinking of Harry that was for sure, but he knew he was again useless, and he had no clue what to do, so he tried to stop, he just tried, and it was so hard especially after what had happened

“ El.. this is Liam... my old friend.”  
She looked at Liam and she tried to smile, she hated Louis's past, with all the people in it, with everything about it

Liam was a friendly person, he also smiled to her reached his hand for a handshake

“ it’s pleasure . And congratulations..” Liam said

She took the hand, and she looked at Louis for any guidance, he just smiled to her to reassure her,  
She looked back at Liam “ the pleasure is mine and thank you..”

Liam noticed how she was uncomfortable  
Liam looked back at Louis “ I wanted to call before I came.. but I don’t have Louis's number anymore.”

Louis frowned “ are you Kidding me. “

Liam smiled “ I wanted to take the number from Harry.. but I must forgot.” and there we go, with the mention of his name, the air disappeared. 

Eleanor looked down, while Louis looked back at Liam, and he asked, because he had to ask,

“ have you seen him?”

Liam nodded “ and he told me about what happened. is Zayn okay now?”

Louis bit his lower lip looking at Eleanor, and he nodded

The thing was, right after Harry leaving the hospital, Louis, Zayn and Niall wanted to see him again, what happened between Louis and Harry last time he saw him was so much, Louis couldn’t stop thinking and refused to stop thinking. 

They wanted to see him, to make sure he was okay, he was healing perfectly, to make sure everything was okay

But once they arrived at the big house of Peta , they were met by the bodyguards, three of them, they refused to let them in, and when they tried violently, the bodyguards attacked them, they prevented them by using their power , which led to a broken arm to Zayn, and mild concussion to Louis

They never tried it again, and both Louis and Zayn promised their girls they would never try it again. 

Harry called Louis same day at the night, and he begged him not to try it again, and he promised him he would be okay, he also promised him he would call from time to time to reassure him, Louis had to accept the situation, he had no choice, he didn’t know what to do. 

Liam looked between Louis and Eleanor , then he looked at Louis “ can we talk..”

Eleanor left the kitchen without any word, Louis watched her leaving, he wanted her to leave, he wanted to ask about Harry, he knew he promised, but he also knew he could not keep his promises when it comes to Harry.

Louis then looked at Liam “ is it about Harry?”

Liam sighed and then he nodded “ I saw him three days ago.. and I didn’t like what I saw..”

Louis was getting nervous “ what do you mean?”

Liam “ I mean.. he wasn’t okay. he was with Peta doing some interview at a magazine. and he looked pale not healthy.. I asked him if it was okay to move like that since he was shot less than a month and he just ignored.”

Louis didn’t know what to say, he just listened,

“ so I went to his house.. and we talked.”

Louis sighed begging “ Liam.. just tell me.”

“ okay.. that tape that he was talking about. it's not about him.”

And now , just now it hit Louis

He looked at Liam and he gasped “ it’s about me.”

Liam didn’t talk, Louis was shocked “ oh God..he told me someone else will get hurt. he meant me.”,

Liam “ he made me promise not to tell you.. but I just can’t.. he is literally broken Louis. he is not  
Harry anymore and I couldn’t just let this happen.. please tell me you will do something.”

Louis looked at him still trying to absorb what he just knew

“ do what?”

“ help him... save him.. he is doing all this shit because of you.”

Louis finally sighed “ that idiot. how was he that stupid.. why?i don't matter.”

Liam looked at Louis “of course you matter to him.. I know he had a point. I mean if I was at his place I would do the same.. I will choose to protect the one I Iove... but-"

“ protect?.” Louis asked angery,

Liam “ of course... do you know how hard he tried to protect you.”

Louis stopped talking

Liam “ he has that tape long time ago. how do you think he kept Harry with him all that time.”

Oh God

Louis looked at him, and no he didn’t know how  
“ he threatened him Louis, he will put that tape on the web and everyone will know, everyone will see and you will can’t handle this. it will be so much.”

Louis looked down, was this the truth? Did Harry had to suffer all this time because of him, only to protect him.

“ Harry made the right choice . the only choice he actually had.. but if his choice is getting him killed. then we need to do something.”

Louis whispered trying to hild back his tears “ killed?”,

Liam took a deep breath, then he looked at Louis  
“ you know what I mean Lou. you know he is hurting him.”

Louis slowly nodded, then he shook his head in frustration

“ I don’t know what to do.. I don’t know how to save him... I don’t care about the fucking tape I don’t give a shit.. how could he be so stupid to think I would care if anyone saw the tape.”

Liam looked at him shocked “ but you should care.”

Louis was confused, Liam “ Louis.. you are having a baby soon, you should protect him, you don’t need to put him in all this shit.”

Louis heard these words before, he left his seat, and he gave Liam his back, he was lost, he was angry,  
Liam stood too, and he walked and stopped behind him

“ if you really don’t care. if you are really ready to take the risk and be under the media mercy. and they are cruel.. and they are savage. if you are really ready for all of this.. then I might be able to help him.. but it won’t be done without your help.”

Of course he was ready, of course he wanted to save Harry

He was going to answer, when they both heard  
“ no..”

Eleanor standing right behind them,  
She said again “ no..”

Louis looked at her “ El..” he was going to touch her, to convince her, when she took a step back yelling  
“ no..”

She was crying now “ you promised Lou. no more... no more him.. please... please this needs to stop"

Louis “ I know .. I know I promised.. but El.. he is-”

She yelled again “ I don’t care... you promised.”

She wiped her years away “ we are getting married in twenty days.. Lou.. please don’t spoil this"

Louis looked down, he would spoil this, he knew where this is leading to, he knew he couldn't marry Eleanor. 

She was looking at him waiting for an answer, and when she knew there will be no one, she cried and ran outside the kitchen. 

Finally Liam said “ I .. I'm sorry Lou.. I know how it’s hard for you now.. but.. “ he stopped talking, he didn’t know what to say, he then sighed “ I will leave now. call me Lou if you decide anything.”

Louis slowly nodded, still looking down, Liam finally left the kitchen, leaving Louis alone. 

Louis knew he couldn't stay in the kitchen for long, he needsled to talk to Eleanor, he needed to reassure her, he felt sorry for her, she was living her worst nightmares, she shouldn't spend her last this way, she was getting married in less than twenty days, and she was worried if this marriage would happen or not, all her sin was falling in love with him, she was having his baby, she was already tired and he was not making things any better.

When he entered his room, he found Eleanor on their bed , she was crying, he took a deep breath and he walked and sat beside her on the bed, he put his hand on her shoulder

“ why are you crying?”

She cried harder, he sighed “ El stop crying please.. it’s not good for you and for the baby.”

She looked at him through her tears

“ i'm tired.. I'm so tired... “ he nodded, he wanted to hug her but she stopped him, and she sat on the bed

“ I was ready to take the risk.. because I love you Lou.. when I go out people insult me in the streets, they call me bad names. they say that the baby isn’t even yours.. they call me whore Louis"

and she cried 

"they call me bad things and I was ready to accept all of this hate. I was ready for all of this because I love you... because I thought you love me too.”

Louis frowned “ El.. stop..”

She shook her head still crying “ no.. you don’t understand how much pain I feel. only because you had a relation with a super star..it kills me.”

Louis didn’t talk, he didn’t have words to say,

Eleanor looked at him “ I can’t take it anymore..”

Louis looked at her eyes, she nodded still crying  
“ I don’t have to live through this. I don’t have to live afraid. I don’t have to be scared from people.. scared of losing you.”

Louis sighed “ you will not lose me..”

She said crying “ then why I feel I already have lost you.”

And it hurt, he hurt her and he knew that, and it was not getting better anytime soon, all he could do was hugging her tightly, there was no word to be said, nothing would make her feel any better, nothing he could say might make her feel safer, he had changed, since Harry accident and he had changed, and now he wanted to save Harry, and that was all

Louis didn’t leave Eleanor side this day, he didn’t go to work, he just stayed with her, he wanted to maybe prove to her or to himself that they were still okay. He was thinking of Liam's last words

Liam knew how to save Harry, Liam knew how. 

It was the in the evening, when Louis's phone rang, he was Zayn, he said only two words  
“ Harry is on the show..”

He was shocked at the start, but  
Louis moved slowly from his bed, Eleanor finally slept, he walked to his TV room, and he opened the TV, and he saw him, and his heart fell down

He was in a talk show with Peta, and their host was again James Cordon

They were already sitting, he missed the entrance,  
“ welcome back Harry.. and let me say God bless you.. we are so happy you are okay..”

Then the camera was on Harry, he smiled, tiredly, he looked exhausted, all the make up did nothing to hide his pain. 

Louis had to sit, because his knees became weak now, and it couldn't hold him anymore

“ thank you James.. thanks.”

His voice was still weak, but it was better,

James “ how are you feeling.. you are hundred percent okay?”

HARRY tried to have a deep breath, and it must hurt because he tried to smile, and he couldn’t talk,  
Instead Peta said “ not completely. no.. but he is healing perfectly his lung is healing completely perfect... but there is some complications..he is still in recovery period.”

And Harry tried to talk, but it came as whispering,  
James must had noticed, because he didn’t want to exhaust him anymore, he talked to Peta instead  
“ so.. do we know what happened?”

Peta looked at Harry , but Harry just nodded at him,  
Peta started “ before I start.. Harry can't talk because he is still in recovery.. sometimes talking really hurts.. the reason we are here is just.. to you know reassure his fans.. and the people who loves him..”

Then the crowd clapped their hands, and cheered for him , Harry looked at them and nodded smiling,  
And Louis was again in pain, he was looking at harry trying to examine every movement Harry was doing,

Peta continued “ and no.. we still don’t know what exactly happened. Harry was alone when it happened.. the cameras shows nothing really.. only the back of the attacker and they are still looking .. and as I said before we trust our police.. we know they will catch him soon..”

Louis chuckled sarcastically,  
James nodded, Harry was looking down the entire time

James “ okay.. I can’t not ask about what was said.”,  
Peta smiled “ you mean.. I was the shooter?”

And LOuis's heart was racing now

James nodded “ who could say this?why did Louis Tomlinson girlfriend say such a thing?”

And his heart literally stopped now

Peta only smiled looking back at Harry “ I guess.. you should ask her that James..”

James smiled “ okay.. good answer.”

Then he looked at Harry “ and Harry.. everything is okay now with you and Louis?”

Louis pressed his mouth shut, he wanted to shout , to scream, to smash everything around gim, he wanted to touch him now

Harry nodded “ I think so... yeah.”

James “ you are not caming back?”

Harry looked at James surprised at the start, then he smiled

Peta answered “ James.. you do realize we are engaged now..”

James laughed “ I do.. I just want to hear it from Harry.  
Peta looked at Harry so as James, Harry only smiled , and shook his head  
“ I mean.. he is having his own life now with a beautiful lady who I love and respect her. And I want to tell the people who love me. please stop hurting my friends. they are good people they deserve the best.. no need to stress them out with fake news...”

James “ do you mean Eleanor?”

Harry nodded “ yes.. she is expecting a baby.. and with all the media and all the you know been running around her.. I can’t imagine how she is living through.bso I want to tell her I'm so sorry. ”, Louis had to smile, typical Harry.. always a caring person

James only smiled then

“ and do you have anything for Tomlinson.”

Harry smiled, cause last time he was there, he wished him a happy birthday, and everything went crazy after that

Harry just looked at Peta, who looked back at him  
“ yeah.. sure.”

Then he looked at the camera “ stay safe Lou.. and I'm waiting for your wedding invitation.”

Louis looked down, he tried to breath normally, but he really can't

James smiled while the crowd again cheered,  
“ what about yours?”

Harry coughed and it looked like it hurt him, cause his face turned red, and James was looking at him worriedly,   
Peta ignored , and he looked at James

“ it will be soon too, once he is fully healed.. and with his tour on the road.. I think it will be earlier that we thought..”

James shocked “ a tour? Are you sure Harry?”

Harry only nodded, he couldn’t talk, James didn’t push any farther  
“ okay.. and you Peta.. how is your new collection.. we heard there is some changes?”

Peta smiled “ yeah... well you know.. with Harry’s new health condition.. I am between him and  
Spain.. so it won’t be released at a different date.. we are a little behind the schedule..”

James only nodded “ okay.. good luck.”

Then he looked back at Harry “ we heard there is a new song you just recorded... is this right?”

Harry nodded “ It’s right. just two days ago.. it’s called don't let me go.. " he took a moment to control his voice, and Louis looked at the screen with wide eyes,  
"it's really soft.. and I love it very much. it means a lot to me.”

James smiled “ is it for Peta..”

Harry only smiled, and Louis knew no, it was not.. Harry wrote this song like long time ago, he used to sing it to Louis, it was Louis' song..

James “ we are more than glad to hear it.. “

the crowd became crazy

James looked at Harry concerned  
“ are you sure you can sing?”

Harry only nodded smiling, he stood up and headed towards the stage

Louis was still looking at Harry, still gazing at the screen

The music began, Harry sat on a stool cause obviously he couldn't stand 

He started with a closed eyes  
"  
Now you were standing there right in front of me  
I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe  
All of a sudden these lights are blinding me  
I never noticed how bright they would be"  
He tried to smile  
"  
I saw in the corner there is a photograph  
No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you  
It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass  
This bed was never made for two"  
He closed his eyes again, and Louis knows he was hiding his eyes  
"  
I'll keep my eyes wide open  
I'll keep my arms wide open  
Don't let me  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go  
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go  
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone"  
He opened his eyes and Louis saw the tears

"  
I promised one day that I'd bring you back a star  
I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand, oh  
Seems like these days I watch you from afar  
Just trying to make you understand  
I'll keep my eyes wide open, yeah  
Don't let me  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go  
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone  
Don't let me  
Don't let me go"

The crowd cheered, but Harry’s eyes were all glassy, he wiped his tears away with his hands, and then James and Peta walked and stood by him

James through the cheers  
“ Harry Styles.. ladies and gentlemen..”

Then Louis closed the Tv, and he again sighed , he wiped his own tears too, feeling completely devastated, he couldn't breath, he couldn't think, he hated everything right now, he hated that he cheated from the first place, if he didn’t cheat, nothing like this would happen, Harry was in all this shit because he cheated, and there was a tape somewhere, and Louis still didn't know what was in it, or was it even worth all the pain Harry had to live through.

He moved to his kitchen, and he sat there , he just sat and cried, yes Louis cried, he let himself cry like he never did before, he missed Harry, and he was trapped, he loved Harry, but he also loved his coming baby, it hurt and it caused ache in the heart, if he choose Harry, Eleanor will leave him, and if he choose Eleanor Harry will disappear.. again. 

But he knee he could not stand Harry away again, he just knes that

When Louos finally was ready to go to his bed, he received an e-mail, he heard the message on his mobile, and he opened his email by his mobile, it was from unknown, and when he opened it , he saw a video,  
When Louis opened the video, he gasped, it was his video, Louis was there naked,

And he knew what he was seeing, he saw the tape, his sex tape, the thing that Harry sacrificed his life for, and Louis was trembling from anger, from the shock, it was a fifteen minute video. 

And it hurt him even more to know that Harry had seen that, it was before the divorce, before Harry’s suicide attempt. 

When the vidoe was finished, Louis put his phone in front of him on the kitchen table, he took a moment to breath, he wanted to breath, to think, or not 

The phone rang again, Louis looked at the ID, it was  
Harry,

He answered immediately “ Harry?”

He heard Harry’s breathing deeply, and he knew there was something wrong

Louis stood up “ Harry what’s wrong?”

Nothing just breathing, and then sniffling

His heart skipped a beat “ Harry.. tell me you are okay..”,  
Nothing

Louis was losing his temper, losing his mind  
“ Harry..”

Then Harry finally said

“ help me Lou, please...”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember I promised I happy ending, so don't freak out

“ what’s wrong Harry.. tell me.”  
Louis said frantically through the phone 

“ he did it.. he shot me.” Harry whispered

Louis couldn’t breath for a second and he froze in his place “ what.. are you hurt?”

“ Lou.. I need you.” Harry said crying

Louis was pacing the kitchen “ okay.. okay.. tell me where are you.”

Nothing

“ Harry tell me where are you?” Louis almost yelled

“ I am home.”

Louis rushed towards his bedroom again “ okay.. Harry.. I am on my way.. are you okay.. are you hurt.”  
Louis took his jacket, his wallet, and his keys 

“ what is going on?” Eleanor woke up and asked, she was still sleepy but she seemed worried   
Louis looked at her and then he wore his shoes  
“ Harry?” Louis asked loudly

Eleanor sat on the bed watching Louis   
“ yeah...I guess.” Harry answered

Louis closed his eyes for a minute, his mind was racing  
“ okay.. is he coming? are you in danger?”

Eleanor was still watching, Louis finished wearing his shoes, he stood up and he looked back at her , she asked by her eyes

“ no.. I don’t think so. “ Harry said through the phone

“ okay Harry.. listen to me.. are you bleeding?”  
And he hoped no

“ no.. I don’t think so.”

Eleanor now was crying , Louis looked down, he knew this meant one thing, she would never forgive him this time. But it was Harry, and he made his choice, then he left the room almost running, he couldn't think of Eleanor now, but he knew now he chose Harry and he just put an end of his relation with Eleanor 

“ Harry can you stand?I want you to lock your doors, can you do that?”

Harry was breathing loudly now Louis heard shuffles , and Louis knee Harry was following his orders

“ good.. good Harry now lock them all.. I am on my way.. okay?”

Louis was already in the car

“ Lou.”

Louis started the car, and then he froze,  
“ I am so sorry.”

Louis had to swallow thickly “ I am on my way Harry “

******  
In front Harry’s house, Louis parked the car, and he almost ran inside, he rang the door bell and was banging on the door

“ Harry.. it’s Louis.. open the door. “

The door was not opened

“ Harry... are you in there..” he knocked again

Then he put his hand on his pocket, and he put his phone out, he was going to call Harry, but the door was finally opened

When Louis entered, he saw Harry walking back inside, so he ran to him

“ Harry..”

But Harry didn’t stop, he walked to the TV room, it was a small room with a large screen hanging on the wall,  
Louis looked at the screen. 

It showed Harry in his reception, talking to someone, not anyone talking to Peta, there was no sound, but then there was a gun, and Peta shot him twice, Louis gasped watching the screen with tears in his eyes, and Harry was on the floor, not moving, his body was jolting from time to time. 

Louis looked at Harry who was still staring at the screen , eyes glassy. Louis suddenly felt panic rising in his chest 

“ Harry.. what happened?”,

Louis asked coming closer to him, Harry had a bruise on his left cheek

Harry still looking at the screen, tears cascading his cheeeks “ I .. found that.”

Then he looked at Louis, then he cried and hugged him  
Louis was in a shock, he couldn’t talk, he looked at the screen again and the video repeats it self over and over again

Louis hugged Harry, then he pulled away, lifting his chin up

“ did he do that?”

Harry looking down, tears still falling, he nodded,  
Louis didn’t feel angry, no , he was relieved, Harry was there in front of him, he was with him, Harry called him he did the right thing and finally asked for his help. 

Louis slowly helped Harry to sit on the large couch, and he sat beside him

“ can you tell me what happened?”

Harry looked at him “ I am sorry.”  
Louis shook his head “ no love its okay.. tell me please.. why did he hit you?”

Harry was still looking at Louis “ he will post the tape on the web.. I am so sorry... I tried to stop him..then I found that tape .. he had it.. " he was being frantic and hardly was taking his breath 

Louis shook his head “ it’s okay..”

Harry cried now “ it’s about you.. I tried.. oh God.. I tried.. I told him .. but I can’t Lou..” he was panicking now

Louis was trying to calm him down “ Harry... Harry I know... he sent me the tape.. I know.”

Harry looked at him confused “ what?”

Louis “ he sent me the tape.. I know it’s about me. and I am so sorry you had to see that.. I am so sorry.”

Harry was trying to breath now

Louis “ it’s okay.. it’s okay.”

Harry looked pale now “ you know? He sent you the tape?”

Louis nodded, Harry suddenly stood up “ he is still alive..”

And that came out like a bomb to Louis, what did that meant exactly   
Louis stood up slowly “ Harry.. what .. what do you mean he is alive..”

Harry looked crazy now, he looked at his hands “ I.. I killed him.. but he is still alive...oh God.”

Oh God !!!!

Then Harry coughed, he coughed and he couldn’t breathe, Louis was trying to reassure him, to help him breathe, but he was scared, what did Harry do

“ Harry.. breathe.. love.. it’s okay.. I am here.. I will help you.. it’s okay..”

But it wasn’t okay, because Harry leaned on Louis for a support, then he slowly fell on the ground, and Louis knew, Harry passed out.  
*** ***

When Harry opened his eyes, it was already morning , he didn’t know where he was at the start, but he felt something, he felt warm, he felt safe.   
he looked around him, and yeah.. he knew where he was .. he was home.

His old home, Louis' and his old home, and wait a minute, now he remembered what happened last night.

He jumped out of the bed which was completely stupid, he was hit with a dizziness spell, and he almost fell, when he gained his balance back, he walked outside the room, he was walking really slowly, he was still not feeling okay, and the headache was banging his head , he moved towards the sounds he was hearing, and when he got closer from the room, he knew the voices

“ we won’t let him run Louis... we just need to figure it out.. you have the tape right?” it was Zayn.

Louis sighed “ I can’t believe he is doing this. he is planning on something.. Harry is not safe.”

“ because he shot him.” and that was Liam.

Louis angry bow “ he shot him first.. he was protecting himself he fucking hit him again.”

“ but Harry shot him... he missed him.. it only a scratch but he still shot him and Peta is covering for him. it doesn’t look good .” Niall said

And that was it, Harry almost fall on the ground, his knees couldn't take it anymore, peta was alive. 

“ we will find out something. we can give them the tape and tell them the truth they will protect him.. right?"

Niall “ I am not really sure Louis, if we gave them the tape of Peta shooting Harry.. then they can know  
Harry shot him too.. he has a motive now”

Louis yelled “ what else do we need?”

Niall also raised his voice “ he shot him too Louis... he did”

Then Harry had to expose himself, he was trying really hard not to pass out again, but he needed to talk, he had to say something

“ he is alive?” Harry asked leaning at the door frame barely.

Louis rushed to him looking at him worried, “ what are you doing outside your bed... come on.. have a seat..”  
he helped him to sit down beside Liam

They all were looking at him, shockingly, worriedly, his bruise now turned dark purple, and with the bright light, Louis noticed a huge bruise on his left arm, and he was afraid to ask what else. 

“ are you okay Harry.. does anything hurt?” it was Zayn,  
Harry looked at Zayn, and he slowly shook his head

Louis was still looking at Harry, trying to assist the damage, Harry looked in pain, and he was sweaty too, and that wasn’t a good sign ,and out of habit, he reached his hand to check his fever, he put his hand on his forehead, Harry looked at Louis

“ you are burning up..”

“ I am fine..”

“ you are not..”

Harry looked at the others, then he looked at Niall  
“ tell me what happened?”

Louis sighed in frustration, then he moved to the kitchen to get him some pain killers, and something for his fever

Niall looked at him “ you shot Peta?”

Harry sighed and closed his eyes “ he is not dead?”,

Niall shook his head in disbelief “ you did it Harry?”

Harry finally nodded, he opened his eyes again “ I did.”

Zayn smiled “ good job..”

Harry looked at zayn and he smiled too, Louis returned and gave him the pills and the glass of water, he didn’t talk, he just stayed in front of Harry and he watched them

Liam “ no Harry it wasn’t a good job.. it was stupid..”

Harry looked back at Niall “ what happened next?”

Niall “ he is at the hospital and refuses to speak to anyone”

Harry only nodded, Niall stood up, he was getting angry  
“ okay.. do you care to tell us why?”

Zayn was looking at Niall angrily “ isn’t it obvious?! he was trying to protect himself.. look at his face and his arms.. and I’m sure that’s not only it.”

Harry looked at Louis , and Louis was still watching him

Harry then looked back at Niall “ how bad is this?”

Niall “ it’s bad. although he says nothing.. his house cameras will show everything and he hid the cameras because it shows he hit you But this won’t be good Harry.. you know what I mean”

Harry frowned “ you mean he will look for me himself?”

Niall nodded “ he won’t let this go easily maybe he keeps his mouth shut because what he did to you.. he hit you and he knows you will say it's a self defence.”

Harry looked down now “ what about the tape?”

And Louis shook his head in disbelief, after all he was still trying to protect him

Niall “ there is no sign for it on the media.. and I don’t think he will post it.”

They all looked at Niall, Niall finished “ he was being shot and now he is at the hospital. he is not talking to anyone even if he wanted to post the tape I think he won’t do it Harry spoiled his plan anyway .”

Zayn asked very confused “ how?”

“ Harry will say it was self defence.. he was defending himself, we all know Harry was beaten up before.. he never said it was Peta.. but all the media has its own theories and physical abusing is the main theory.. and they are all asking why Harry says nothing. why he is not running? So he posts the tape and they will know why.”

Liam commented “ he can post it and says it was anyone else.”  
Niall looked at them all, then he said “ you don’t check your Twitter..”

Louis looked at Harry, who looked down now  
Niall “ last night Harry tweeted something about a tape.”

Zayn was looking at his phone now “ my life is hanging on a tape.”

Niall nodded “ they thought it was about a new song or something like that.. but when he tweeted my life for their happiness. it went viral.. so people know there is a tape and they know this tape will hurt Harry but they have no idea what is it about”

Liam looked at Harry “ that’s why he wanted to attack you again?”

Harry didn’t move his head

Louis was still staring at Harry “ that’s why he sent me the tape.. he wanted to threaten me?”

Niall shocked “ you saw the tape?”

Louis still looking at Harry “ he could have killed you.”

Harry just shrugged, Louis “ how could you be that selfish?”

And all of them looked at Louis shocked

Louis left his seat “ how do you think it makes me feel when I know you've been getting beating up because of me.. he shot you for God sake. I begged you .”

Harry looked down, Louis “ and then you are tweeting those words to make him insane.. what was in your mind..”

Harry almost whispered “ I was trying to protect you.”

Louis was angry “ who says I want your protection?”

Harry looked at him “ but I have to.. I have to protect you.”

Louis yelled frustrated “ why? “

Harry “ cause you always did the same for me.. you always helped me and I can’t just hurt you I owe you?”

Louis froze in his spot, he looked at Harry and forgot about the other “ you don’t owe me Harry... how could you say this? ”

“ but I do...you sacrificed everything for me.. you were living through hell to just stay with me and to protect me from my demons. and when I finally okay how do you think I will let him hurt you.”

Louis moved closer to Harry, he looked at him “ you are finally okay?”

Harry nodded eyes glassy “ I didn’t try to hurt myself for the past two years?”

Louis also was in tears “ what about that overdose ?”

Harry shook his head “ it was him..”

Louis closed his eyes in anger, then he looked at harry again “ you are really okay?”

Harry nodded “ I wanted to prove to you that I will be okay.. I wanted to make you proud.. I didn’t know it will turn to be like this..”

Louis nodded “ I am proud Harry.. of course I am”

Harry wiped his tears away “ then I am fine.”

Liam had to fake the cough “ okay guys.. that’s looks lovely.. but we need to think what will we do.”

Louis looked back at them “ we will do what we have to do.. we will protect him.”

Niall shook his head “ he is smarter than you think.. we don’t know what he is planning to do.”

Louis nervously “ what do you mean?”

Niall looked down, but Harry touched Louis's hand , when Louis looked at him, Harry smiled “ I will be okay..”

Zayn “ I think we should tell the police..”

Niall nodded “ okay.. I will take the tape and we will go.. he should tell them what happened.. “

Louis “ you mean he will go with you?”

Niall nodded “ of course and please relax.. he will be fine..”

Zayn “ and he needs to see a doctor.”

Louis looked at Harry again , he again smiled “ I am fine..”

But he wasn’t, he stopped talking, he let them do the talk, he let them decide for him, and all he wanted right now was just sleeping

“ you aren’t fine..”

And now Louis noticed how pale he was, still sweaty, and he started to get worried, was he sick.. or was he hurt

Louis “ Harry .. you should eat something..”

Harry only nodded, he couldn’t talk, he had no power actually

Liam and Naill had to leave, Niall said he would come tomorrow so Harry can go with him to the police, they all felt he was weak, and no one wanted to take the risk, specifically when the media is looking for him everywhere.

Louis made him some soup, but once Harry put the spoon in his mouth, he froze in his place , and then he ran to the bathroom, and he threw his guts out, it was painful, and it was exhausted.   
when he finished vomiting, Louis took him to bed, and Zayn said he would get him some trusted doctor.

Harry was lying on the bed, closing his eyes, can barely move. Louis was sitting beside him waiting for the doctor, Harry was very hot, and Louis was placing cool and damp washcloth on his forehead in order to bring the fever down, his mind was racing to fight the thoughts in his minds

“ Louis..” Harry suddenly aske

Louis was surprised “ I thought you were asleep.”

Harry shook his head still closing his eyes “ no.. I am just enjoying the calmness.”

Louis nodded, and then he put the cloth away from his forehead, he then placed his hand on his forehead and he sighed

“ your fever isn’t getting down Harry..”

Harry didn’t answer, Louis “ tell me what you feel ?”

Harry finally opened his eyes, and they were red , Louis pressed his mouth shut to control his surprise, and also raising panic.

“ I am sorry..”

Louis almost whispered “ why are you sorry Harry.”

Harry sighed , and then he sat on the bed, and rested his head on the headboard,  
“ I never wanted things to get to this"

Louis nodded “ I know love.. but it’s not your fault.”

Harry eyes turned glassy “ I thought that everything will be okay.. if i'm away then you will be fine and Happy.”

Harry uttered the last word breathlessly,

Louis knew Harry was in pain too, his body was trembling, he kissed his hand, and rubbed it softly  
“ Harry... when you were away I was never happy.”

Harry closed his eyes, letting the tears fell on the cheeks

“ take it easy Harry.. everything will be okay.. you will be okay..”

Harry only shrugged, and then the door was opened,  
And it was Zayn

“ the doctor is here.”

Louis left the bed looking at Harry who didn’t open his eyes, and he looked not aware, “ Harry?”

Louis shook Harry’s body, and Harry weakly whimpered, then the doctor entered

“ good afternoon..” then he headed towards the bed,  
“ Harry.. how do you feel?”

Harry slowly opened his eyes “ hi...”

The doctor smiled and he opened his suitcase ,and put out his blood pressure device

“ what happened?”

The doctor asked looking at Harry’s bruise,  
Harry smiled and looked at Louis, Louis smiled tried to encourage him, but he knew Harry didn’t want to talk  
“ he runs a fever..”

Louis started helping Harry “ he vomited earlier.. and he is out of breath..”

The doctor nodded “ and his bruise?”

Harry sighed, and Louis held Harry’s hand “ it’s okay..”

Harry told the doctor about the attack, Louis was there , he didn’t leave his side, the doctor did all the possible examinations, and when he was leaving Louis followed him. 

When Louis moved back to the room, Harry was already sleeping, he was okay, they feared for internal bleeding, but the doctor reassured them, Harry was fighting an infection, he wrote him some antibiotics and pain killers, Louis covered Harry tightly and then he closed the room, and headed outside to the kitchen, and there were Zayn and Gigi. 

Gigi was cooking them something, when Louis entered the kitchen he didn’t see Zayn

Gigi looked at him, but she said nothing and completed cutting the vegetables 

Louis sat in front of her on the stool, he sighed and closed his eyes, he needed a minute for himself

Gigi looked at him and finally asked  
“ how is he?”

Louis opened his eyes, and he exhaled deeply “ I don’t know.. he runs fever... he is vomiting.. he is wheezing.. honestly.. he is not okay..”

Gigi getting worried “ okay.. what did the doctor said?”

Louis shrugged “ he says his body is fighting an infection..”

Gigi nodded “ that’s it?”

Louis nodded and shrugged again, Gigi sighed and then she continued what she was doing

He looked at her “ thanks Gigi..”

She shrugged but she didn’t look at him, Louis tried again  
“ you are more than a help.”

She nodded “ I am doing it for Harry.”

Louis sighed “ I know you are upset About Eleanor.”

Gigi closed her eyes, she tried to contain her anger  
“ I just don’t know how did you leave her like that. she came to me at the middle of the night shaking.. and crying.. Louis she is having a baby. do you know how much stress she is already in? ”,

Louis winced at what she said, Gigi left the knife and then looked at him

“ Louis.. I know what you had to do but at least you have to call her.. you need to reassure her she is losing her mind now.”

Louis “ I don’t know Gigi.. I know I hurt her.”

“ and she doesn’t deserve this..”

Louos “ I know... I know... but this is Harry.. and she doesn’t want me to look after him. she doesn’t want me to have any contact with him and I can’t.”

Gigi sighed “ she is just talking. she is afraid of losing you.. she is worried and scared... Louis I know he is Harry and I know what he means to you.. but she is having your baby.. your baby. don’t do  
this..”

Louis “ I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.. I need to save him and I need her too. they both need me and I can’t let anyone down.. but I don’t know what to do.”

“ you have to go after her..”

It was Harry’s voice from behind

Gigi and Louis looked at him, and Gigi ran and hugged him really tight,

He hugged her back and together they walked and Harry sat beside Louis

He looked at him “ you have to go after her.. please.. I don’t want to ruin this.“

Louis “ you are not..”

“ I am.. please.. Lou.. just go to her reassure her... convince her to come back.. I have to leave anyway..”

Louis shocked “ you are not going anywhere. not until we end this..”

Harry sighed “ go .. Louis you have to go. please.”

Louis looked at Harry’s eyes, and he saw all the guilt,  
“ okay..”

He had to say , to stop Harry from begging him, and also because it was the right thing, he would face Eleanor, they would talk and find out what makes them comfortable and happy   
Harry smiled “ good... that’s good..”

Then he looked around “ where is Zayn?”

Gigi “ he somewhat here sleeping..”

Harry nodded and he left the kitchen, and Louis knew Harry was running, Harry was avoiding seeing him, because he was hurt, he was heartbroken.  
*******  
At the evening, Zayn and Gigi left tp their home, and it was only Harry and Louis

Harry finally convinced Louis to go and see Eleanor, he told him he will sleep anyway and there was no need to worry about him

“ I will be fine..” Harry said lying on the bed.

“ I promise.. if anything happened I will call you.”

Louis standing in front of the bed, looking extremely worried

“ okay.. I will wait for Liam then.”

Harry sighed “ oh God... go Lou... I will wait for him once he is here I will call you. now go .. you have to fix this..”

Louis looked at him “ I don’t want to fix this.”

Harry looked at him surprised, Louis “ I can’t lose you again..”

Harry shook his head “ you won’t lose me Louis... I will always be here... but you love her.”

Louis looked at him, and it hurt. Love her? Did he ever did?.   
“ and you are having your baby you can’t leave now... I will never let you dump your son.”

Louis looked down, and slowly he nodded,  
“ you have to go..”

And somehow, he wished Louis never go, he wished him stay , and never leave

Louis nodded “ promise me something.”

Harry nodded trying to hold back the tears  
“ anything..”

Louis “ don’t run.”

Harry simply smiled “ never crossed my mind.”

“ promise.”

Harry nodded “ okay.. I promise.”

Then Louis left him, he felt butterflies in his stomach for leaving Harry alone, but he knew Liam would be here in less than ten minutes, and he knew nothing bad would happen, Peta was still at hospital, so no harm, and he had to fix things with Eleanor, he knew she didn't deserve this , she deserved better than him. 

Harry watched Louis leaving the room, he closed his eyes, and he took a deep breath as slowly as he could , and he remembered how they used to spend days together , how they used to sleep together, to watch movies together, and he knw now, no matter how many times he would see Louis again, nothing would ever be back, nothing would be the same, and although it hurt Harry was okay with this, he knew that what Louis always wanted. 

Harry felt there was movement outside, Liam was already here, he waited for him to open the door, and when it didn’t happen, Liam must thought he was sleeping. 

Harry left the bed and moved out the room, he looked for Liam in the TV room, and then in the kitchen, there was no Liam, he must imagined that, the drugs must caused this,

When he was going back to the bed room, he saw him standing in front of him, a gun in his hand levelled towards Harry,

Harry whispered “ Peta..”

And then Pang...


	18. Chapter 18

Harry expected to fall down, to feel the pain, to see blood, but actually nothing happened, he was still standing not feeling any difference, he looked frantically at his body and he touched his chest and abdomen.. nothing. 

He turned his eyes and he saw Peta on the ground, he seemed unconscious

When he looked up, he saw Liam looking at Peta , breathing fast, holding a baseball bat , eyes wide opened 

Harry understood what happened, Liam was there Liam saved his life.... 

Harry moved slowly to check Peta , he saw blood coming from his head

“ careful Harry.. don't touch him..”

Liam said frantically that he almost shouted

Harry moved the gun away from Peta's hand, and then he checked his pulse, there was a pulse of course,  
“ Liam .. call the police.”

Liam was still watching, he was trying to calm himself down, but his hand was still holding the bat, still high,  
Harry moved away from Peta, and Liam was looking at him  
“ you are okay?”

Harry nodded , Liam “ he shot you..”

Harry was looking at him he shook his head “ no... no he missed..”

Harry was blank, actually he felt nothing, he knew this all things with Peta was coming to an end, everything was over, everything was finally over and he still found it hard to believe 

He watched Liam calling the police telling them what happened, he looked at his hand still holding the gun , he then looked at Peta who was still unconscious on the floor. he thanked his God , if Louis was still with him, there would be a different scenario

********

“ Harry styles Ladies and Gentlemen..”

James cordon said, and the crowds as usual went crazy

Harry styles came from the back stage, smiling wide, looking extremely healthy, and he stood at the middle of the stage , thanking his fans, waving for them

He looks completely different, he cut his hair, wearing a black tuxedo, looking more handsome, more attractive,  
“ come here Harry..”

Harry looked at James and he walked to him, and they both hugged 

Then Harry sat on the sofa he was supposed to sit on, in front James 

James friendly smiling looking at Harry and at the crowds who was still cheering and screaming and clapping their hands

“ care to ask them to stop Harry..” James said joking,  
Harry smiled wide and shook his head, and they screamed even louder  
?   
James laughed and patted his knee, and shaking his head on disbelief  
“ every time... every time...”

Gradually the crowds calmed down, and finally they were ready to started the interview

James “ they love you..”

Harry looked at his fans, with a shining eyes and a heart melting smile “ I love them too. I owe them James.”  
P  
James smiling “ welcome back Harry... we are happy to have you here.. okay and looking handsome as always.”

Harry smiling “ thanks Jamespp. I am happy to be here.. actually I miss here and I miss you.”

James was still smiling “ oh thanks Harry. it has been such a long time .. last time you were--”,he stopped looking at harry  
Harry nodded “ yeah.. in hospital.” 

The crowds went in ohh

Harry smiled “ you know last year I spent much time at hospitals James.. and you always were there for me.. so thank you.”

James smiled “ I am glad you are okay now.. we are so happy.”

Harry nodded “ thank you.”

“ this is your first time on TV since last .. events.”

“ yeah.. it is... it was such tough seven months.. but everything is okay now.”

“ yeah.. thanks God.. and your health?”

“ I am perfect.. look at me.”

James smiled nodding “ I am looking I am.. actually my wife is asking me to lose some weight. but I am thinking to get shot Harry.. if this is how I will look after..”

Harry smiled widely and clapped his hands with the audience, but he then said “ no, no God bless you.. just you should spend more time at the Gym.”

James laughed “ I am..”

“ and actually practice there ..”

“ I am not..”

Harry laughed  
James “ well congratulations.. your new single.. we love it Harry.. amazing tune amazing lyrics.”

The crowd again went crazy, and Harry looked at them thanking them

James “ tell me .. you wrote it?”

Harry shook his head “ no.. they are not mine, they are amazing .. right.”

“ very much..”

Harry nodded smiling “ Louis wrote them.”

And the crowd cheered , James looked shocked “ did he?”

Harry smiled “ yes.. he did.. he didn’t want me to sing them .. it took me two months to convince him."

He then smiled " I actually found the lyrics.. loved them.. then recorded them behind his back.. and when he heard them he was completely shocked..”

James was still surprised, Harry “ it took me and Zayn like two full months to convince him.”

“ we are glad he is convinced.”

“ yeah me too..”

“ so tell me.. you and Louis.. everything is okay?”

Harry smiled widely, he shook his head in disbelief,  
“ I know you asked me not to ask about him.. I know he hates media and specifically right now when they are waiting for their baby any minute now.”

Harry nodded “ any minute really..”

“ but your fans are worried.. and they are asking.”  
Harry just smiled wide, and he shrugged

James and the audience clapped their hands,  
James “ okay.. okay.. no more questions about your life Harry.. tell us.. is there really a movie on the road?”

Harry nodded “ there is something.. yeah.. I actually read the script and I love it.. and I am completely worried.. I never tried myself as an actor.. so .. I don’t know..”

“ are you Kidding me Harold people love you even if you are hosting this show.”

The crowd screamed again, and Harry smiled then he raised his one brow, and looked at the camera

James laughing “ no , no of course not... we are just kidding... CBS we are just joking.. right...”

Harry still smiling and he shrugged " I always wanted yo host a show" 

James "I have to end this interview now or i will be losing my job" 

The crowd went crazy, and James said “ okay.. are you ready.. we are dying to hear the new hit..”

Harry nodded, and he stood up walked to the stage,  
He stood in front of the microphone,

I figured it out  
I figured it out from black and white  
Seconds and hours  
Maybe they had to take some time

I know how it goes  
I know how it goes for wrong and right  
Silence and sound  
Did they ever hold each other Tight like us?  
Did they ever fight like us?

You & I  
We don't want to be like them  
We can make it 'til the end  
Nothing can come between  
You & I  
Not even the gods above  
Could separate the two of us  
No, nothing can come between  
You & I  
Oh, you & I  
I figured it out  
Saw the mistakes of up and down  
Meet in the middle  
There's always room for common ground

I see what it's like  
I see what it's like for day and night  
Never together  
'Cause they see things in a different light  
Like us  
They never tried like us

You & I  
We don't want to be like them  
We can make it 'til the end  
Nothing can come between  
You & I  
Not even the gods above  
Could separate the two of us

'Cause you & I  
We don't want to be like them  
We can make it 'til the end  
Nothing can come between you & I  
Not even the gods above  
Could separate the two of us  
No, nothing can come between  
You & I

Right after he finished, he felt his phone vibrated on his pocket, normally Harry would leave his phone back stage, but recently he kept it with him, safe and near,  
Harry didn’t wait till the cameras turns off, or James end the conversation, he just put out his phone, and he looked at it  
And his eyes turns wide, he looked around him,  
James getting closer

“ no phones here Harry..” he said joking

But when he saw Harry’s face he turned worried,  
“ everything is fine..”

Harry smiled “ actually... wow.. the baby is coming.”

James surprised smiling “ is he. oh God.. that’s wonderful.. wow..”

He looked at the cameras “ Harry Styles ladies and gentlemen . congratulations. “  
And Harry ran outside without hearing any cheering or saying good bye,

The stuff hastily helped him to remove the mick, while he was calling some one

"yes Zayn.”

Zayn “ calm down.. they've just took her.”

Harry was smiling worriedly “ he knows. God.. where is he?”

“ he is inside with her... are you coming?”

The stuff finished, he thanked them and ran outside  
“ on my way..”

“ drive safely Harry.. okay.”

“ yeah.. yeah..”

An hour later,  
Harry entered the hospital, he ran through halls, and he heard people calling his name, he was trying to smile to them but he was worried, he was holding a baby balloon says “ it's a boy"

And big large bouquet of red roses, he couldn’t wait for the elevator, he used the stairs, still running, and then he ran through the halls of the hospital, and then he saw them , Gigi, Zayn, Liam all were waiting outside the room

Zayn saw him , he smiled wide “ he is inside there..”

Harry looked at the closed door, and then he looked at them

“ the baby is here?”

They all nodded , they were smiling widely, Gigi  
“ they are waiting inside.”

Harry finally smiled, and he moved to the room, he knocked the door, and he entered

When Louis saw him he smiled widely, and he walked to hug him tightly, Harry tried to keep his tears inside , and looked at Eleanor, she was smiling back

He walked to her, and he hugged her too, and gave her the flowers

" those are for you"

she looked at them in aww.

And she smiled while he kissed her forehead saying  
“ congratulations..”

Louis called “ come on Harry..”

Louis was standing beside the baby’s bed, Harry took a deep breath, and walked to the baby, and he was marvellous, that small face with closed eyes, and Louis held the baby and gave it to Harry “ this is your second father.”

Harry took the boy smiling “ oh my God..”, he was shaking, but louis touched his arm to calm him down,  
Harry touched the baby's small lovely fingers, and he kissed them lightly, then he rubbed softly his head “ he is lovely..”

His eyes turned glassy, Louis was watching them both,  
And then he looked at Eleanor, she was smiling too, looking at Harry holding her son with his hands

Louis couldn’t get any happier, he had them all, the baby, Harry, he was so happy that his eyes turned glassy too

“ he has your eyes Lou..” Harry said still looking at the baby

Louis looked at the baby boy, and he was looking at Harry , he was opening his eyes looking at Harry,  
“ I think he loves you.”

Harry smiled “ he has to love me. I love him more.”

Louis smiled looking at his son again “ yes I know.”

Harry looked at Louis , he then whispered  
“ congratulations Loubear..”

Louis nodded smiling, then Harry kissed the boy and, he kissed Louis too

Eleanor smiled at that, Harry gave the baby back to Louis

“ I will wait outside..” he looked at Eleanor “ I know you must be tired.”

She smiled “ thanks Harry.. I love the roses.”

Harry shrugged “ it least I can do. you were a champion today..”

Eleanor smiled resting her head back at the pillow,  
“ thank you..”

******

At midnight, Louis was finally home, he was exhausted, he was tired, all he wanted was a hot bath, and long sleep,

He was walking to his bedroom, but he saw some lights at the terrace, and he noticed that the curtains were flying, did he forget to close them before leaving??

When he walked to close them, he saw it  
Candles , prepared table, two glass of Champaign, he smiled. Harry was here 

He entered and took a good look, he looked beside him, and Harry was sleeping at the couch, holding some papers, Louis smiled and he walked to wake him up

Harry did all this for him, he was tired too, so he collapsed waiting for Louis

He shook him softly “ love. wake up I am home.”

Harry slowly opened his eyes, then he smiled  
“ shit.. “

He looked around him, and he he smiled “ i ruined the surprise..”

“ you didn’t.. I thought you are at the studio.”

Harry looked at him “ I should... but I cancelled for tonight.. we should celebrate”

Then he stood up, and moved hand in hand with Louis to the table , and he helped him sit

And then he sat in front, he removed the plate cover, and so did Louis

Louis looking at the food “ oh Harry..”

Harry was looking at Louis , then he smiled  
“ it will be better if it was still warm..”

Louis frowned “ are you Kidding me... I love cold food..”

Harry smiled wide “ congratulations baby.. I am more than happy..”

Louis took a deep breath “ everything is perfect Harry... I don’t know how to feel.”

Harry smiled, then he held Louis' hand “ you just be happy. “

Louis with tears on his eyes “ I am Harry.”

Harry smiled “ I know baby.. this is just perfect.”

Louis nodded, and kissed Harry’s hand

*****  
After eating together, they headed towards the bed room, Harry can barely open his eyes, together they lie on the bed

Louis watched Harry falling asleep , and he held his phone, he posted a photo on Instagram of Harry holding his baby and kissing him on his head, and under the photo he said

“ my whole world"

Louis then put his phone beside him, and he looked at Harry again, he hugged him, and he buried his head in his neck

He really couldn’t be more grateful, he was happy, he had a healthy beautiful baby, he fixed what was with his baby mother, and most important, he had Harry back, healthy , perfect, and most successful

Harry was there lying beside him, finally, after all what happened, after all the crisis they have been through, after Peta. 

Peta was now spending his rest of life in jail, he tried tp kill Harry twice, and if Liam wasn’t there the last time he attached Harry, Harry would be certainly dead. 

Louis hugged Harry tighter with that thought, Harry must felt him because he turned his back to face him,  
“ are you okay?” Harry asked sleepy

Louis looked at him, and he tried to smile, but Harry became alerted

“ are you crying.. what happened?”

Louis didn’t noticed he was crying, he wiped his tears,  
“ is the baby okay..”

“ everything thing is okay. I was just thinking about.. last year.”

Harry sighed, he tried to calm his racing heart  
“ stop..”

Then he looked at Louis “ stop thinking about last year.. okay. we are fine. I am fine.. you are fine and the baby is here and he is fine..”

“ you are right.. I will stop.”

Harry nodded, and then he embraced Louis, Louis rested his head on Harry’s chest, just above his heart, he heard his heart beating, he looked at his chest, he was Breathing, yes everything is fine.

Fate has gave them one more chance, and Louis knew he wouldn't waste it this time,

Everything was finally fine.

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you live the end


End file.
